In an effort to keep Los Angeles Kings fans aware of the comings and goings of the other teams in the Smythe Pacific Division… we here at The Royal Half have created the Pacific War Room… a wrap-up of the past week in the Pacific from some of the best and brightest bloggers who cover Pacific Division teams. In order of the Pacific Division standings… we present the Pacific War Room for the week of February 8th, 2016!!
Ahh, the LA Kings annual “Grammy Trip”, where the team is forced to spend 10 days on the road because for some reason unknown to most people, the Grammy’s are still a thing. Well, what’s the worst that could happOH GOD NOOOOOOOO
Jonathan Quick is just day-to-day and I'm sure he's fi–OH GOOD GOD LEGS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BEND THAT WAY pic.twitter.com/KxDfdCHlet
— PumperNicholl (@PumperNicholl) February 11, 2016
Well, at least it can’t get worse than Jon Quick getting injurOH GOD NOOOOO WHY NOOOO WHYYYYYY
GabbNOOOOOOOOOOOO
— PumperNicholl (@PumperNicholl) February 13, 2016
GaboWRECKED
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) February 13, 2016
Sunday morning hockey chat with TRH Mommy. pic.twitter.com/Zc4r2qyrzu
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) February 14, 2016
LA Kings 7-Game Road Trip Casualty List:
Jonathan Quick
Christian Ehrhoff
Marian Gaborik
My Sobriety— PumperNicholl (@PumperNicholl) February 13, 2016
The @LAKings are 8-8-1 since January 3rd.
If going .500 is this years version of the "Winter Slump"… I guess I'll take it.
— All The Kings Men (@KingsMenPodcast) February 14, 2016
Well, at least the anticipated release of a hot new album caught all of the Pacific Division’s attention this week…
#fbf pic.twitter.com/VxBiBMXowD
— PumperNicholl (@PumperNicholl) February 12, 2016
And also this happened:
Tweet out your best!
So the Sharks had a hell of a week. Blanking the Blackhawks, failing and then nearly outlasting the Flames in a shootout, and absolute domination of the Desert Dogs, who only managed 1 shot in the 3rd period of their game Saturday.
But I’ve come to the realization that I’m selfish, so this week’s write up will be all about me and the cool times I’ve had. I expect the past few days to be made into a movie that’ll be bundled as a double feature with “The Untitled John Scott Movie” and blow the doors off the domestic box office record (Suck my dick, Disney).
TITLE CARD:
What you are about to watch is an accurate depiction of real events. Out of respect for those who survived the ordeal, the names and locations have not been altered.
Viewer’s discretion is advised.
FADE IN:
EXT: SAP Center-Night
CUT TO:
INT: SAP Center
A hockey game is being played between the Sharks and Calgary Flames. It’s a Thursday night. We cut to the broadcast feed of the home team and find two men in suits casually watching the game; what they are discussion is unknown:
Fan of the game material.@SanJoseSharks pic.twitter.com/RNO1et5CBu
— Brodie Brazil (@brodiebrazilCSN) February 12, 2016
Their presence, now known to only a handful of people who watch the broadcast feed, yields a top secret mission. A mission which could decide the fate of a transmission of yet unknown importance:
The meeting place had been determined. What would happen now? Unsure of the nature of their mission, the suited men issued a warning:
. @brodiebrazilCSN We'll be here with backup on Saturday. pic.twitter.com/SK3G2AFZYE
— Shark Dressed Men (@sharkdressedmen) February 12, 2016
What awaited them at the rendezvous? Only God knew.
CROSS DISSOLVE TO:
INT: SAP Center-A few days later
Our suited heroes now number 4. Hoping to move through the building undetected, they warn their enemies of what will come:
GAMEDAY: All 4 of us will be @SAPCenter! FORECAST: @ArizonaCoyotes will score as many goals as they had All-Stars. pic.twitter.com/vyVd4P5ZLU
— Shark Dressed Men (@sharkdressedmen) February 13, 2016
After grabbing several rounds of liquid courage, our heroes ventured deep undercover, only to be stopped by uncountable numbers of random strangers asking for pictures. [Like, seriously, I think we took a good dozen or so before the game even started.] Their cover now blown, they could only hope that they could make it to the meeting place in time.
To all our loyal fan: Be sure to watch Sharks Pregame Live tomorrow (Saturday) on CSN California at 7PM. Might be some cool happenings…
— Shark Dressed Men (@sharkdressedmen) February 13, 2016
But lo! There are two entrances to section 110. And only 1 minute until 1900 Hours. How could they possibly make it in time? A bright light flashes, illuminating a previously hidden location. They spot their target with mere seconds prior to transmission. Locking eyes, the contact gives them signals to indicate when to initiate the strike plan they had crafted only minutes before. And strike they did. [The government is still tracking down footage of this event. We can re-shoot this once the funding comes through]:
DOC EMRICK [Off Screen]:
“What Chaos!”
And indeed, it was chaos the likes of which we may never see again.
FACT: #SJSharks are undefeated when we appear on the pregame show.
Also, @ArizonaCoyotes, I told you so.— Shark Dressed Men (@sharkdressedmen) February 14, 2016
FADE TO BLACK
END
Sorry, gang, I’m going to need a moment to cope. For the first time since this War Room rebooted, the Ducks didn’t win all their games this week. In fact, the week started with a good old-fashioned drubbing by the Pittsburgh Penguins, who Crosbied the Ducks 6-2. It sadly ended both Anaheim’s 6-game winning streak and Ryan Garbutt’s personal 17-game winning streak. :(
Then the Ducks traveled to Philadelphia, where they resumed their winning ways. Rickard Rakell, a minus-four the night before in Pittsburgh, scored two first-period goals, and Chris Stewart added a penalty-shot goal as Anaheim once again shredded the Flyers 4-1.
This is one of my favorite @earlsleek toons pic.twitter.com/R2AJd7ilkd
— Mark Aarcobellon (@atf13atf) February 10, 2016
The next game in Columbus wasn’t very good, but the Ducks did still manage to build a 3-1 lead in the third period, only to blow it in a shootout. Anaheim not only lost a standings point in that game, but Chris Stewart also got his jaw broken in a second-period fight – ouch!
Chris Stewart x-ray. pic.twitter.com/NOX8Mym5nZ
— Earl Sleek (@earlsleek) February 12, 2016
The Ducks ended their week in Chicago, and even though it took more than two periods to get a puck past Corey Crawford, Anaheim won in overtime (!) on a power play goal (!) scored by Ryan Getzlaf (!). It’s shocking because the Ducks still have yet to score a 3-on-3 goal that wasn’t in an All Star game – this 4-on-3 winner gave Anaheim its first OT win of the season.
Even with the losses (which are a tad expected on this crazy 7-game trip), the Ducks continue to pull away from the non-California portion of the Pacific Division. They can’t seem to quite catch the Sharks, but their run of 15-4-2 since Christmas, with four of those losses coming against eastern conference teams, has certainly put them decently in the Pacific’s top three. Who knows? We may even get a decent divisional race down the stretch – wait up, Kings! :)
On the bright side, at least nobody in the Pacific lost their head coaching job this week.
BRAKKING NEWS pic.twitter.com/n6rbN9BSW8
— Earl Sleek (@earlsleek) February 14, 2016
I don't get this team.
— Five For Howling (@Five4Howling) January 26, 2016
The Arizona Coyotes have been slowly slipping down the standings over the second half of the season, regressing back to where we *kind of* expected them to be at the start of the year – out of the playoffs.
There’s a lot to love about this season, but we didn’t see much of that last week. Let’s break it down:
Coyotes vs. Canucks: 2-1 Loss
Ryan Miller on why he plays so well in Arizona: "I met my wife in Scottsdale, so it's a city with a lot of happy memories for me."
— Catherine Silverman (@CataCarryOn) February 11, 2016
Ryan Miller has been consistently hovering just below average for the last season or so, which means that he played lights-out against the Coyotes when the Canucks came to town for the team’s first game of the week on Wednesday.
I want to say that I hated this, but I really didn’t. It was a game that the Coyotes looked good in, but fell due to strong goaltending on the other side of the ice – it was a solid game for rookie Louis Domingue, it was a solid possession game for everyone, and it was just a bad break.
Would two points – or even one point – have been nice? Sure. But with prizes like Auston Matthews, Matthew Tkachuk, and Jacob Chychrun on the table over the summer, it’s hard to get too upset about a well-played losing game.
Coyotes vs. Flames: 4-1 Win
Get ready for the salt, Calgary.
A Flames fan I know informed me that this was a losing game for Calgary from the start, because they came off a back-to-back where they had to stay in San Jose overnight or something. I don’t know. I don’t really care.
The bottom line is that this would have been a 5-1 game if the situation room hadn’t called down and complained that the Coyotes didn’t actually score short-handed, and that’s a bad loss. Read it and weep, Calgary, this is not a playoff year for either of us.
Alt angle. pic.twitter.com/zdqnAnJLz8
— AOL Keyword: Mike (@mikeFAIL) February 13, 2016
Calgary vs. San Jose: 4-1 Loss
Was kind of hoping Joe Pavelski would opt to just take tonight off, since it's technically… um… National Tortellini Day. Oh well. #Coyotes
— Luke Lapinski (@LukeLapinski) February 14, 2016
Joe Pavelski kills Coyotes. The Sharks are pretty good.
The Arizona Coyotes had one (1) shot in the third period.
— Fear The Fin (@fearthefin) February 14, 2016
That’s about all I can say.
Fun Extras:
Shane Doan is now on pace for 32 goals this year. That would be a career high. In his 20th season. This isn't normal. #Coyotes
— Luke Lapinski (@LukeLapinski) February 13, 2016
This also happened:
Asked Coyotes GM Don Maloney about Ekman-Larsson finishing 17th in Norris voting last year and damn was he honest. pic.twitter.com/GpHMi0jNsj
— Alex Prewitt (@alex_prewitt) February 15, 2016
Finally, fun but irrelevant:
When you lose the lead for most Super Bowls in the family pic.twitter.com/6sbhCFLcd4
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) February 8, 2016
Only the Vancouver Canucks can win two of three games in the span of a week and make it look like an unmitigated disaster. The crown jewel of this turd being Saturday’s performance against the Maple Leafs AHL affiliate, wherein they managed to look terrible in what is regarded by many as their best threads in franchise history. You do you, Canucks.
Who cares about the wins and losses at this point though. There are so many bigger fish to fry. Alex Burrows is apparently willing to waive his NTC if he’s approached by the Canucks, which makes sense because he might be the least valuable of the Canucks veterans at this stage. At least the ones they haven’t sent to the AHL anyways.
Then there’s the matter of meddling ownership, which is apparently a thing. Elliotte Friedman dropped the bombshell that there might be a disconnect between management and the owners. This is terrible news. The Canucks need a rebuild in the worst way and it appears as though the only thing standing in the way is Francesco Acquilini.
I feel like the Canucks are in a tailspin not so dissimilar to the Maple Leafs in the Dave Nonis, Randy Carlyle era. Like, holy hell this is getting bad.
Speaking of the Maple Leafs, the Canucks are apparently going to be right in the thick of the Steven Stamkos sweepstakes which is cool because that would upset the hell out of Maple Leafs fans.
Also, Sven Baertschi is a beautiful and amazing man and good at the hockey.
Last week capped off with two of Calgary’s large adult children and one of Calgary’s small adult children being healthy scratched for disciplinary reasons. Oh god, the sky is falling, young adults making mistakes how will we ever live? A lot of speculation and junk about why and how this could happen as these three men are professional athletes occurred. There was lots of chatter about what triggered it and no one really knows the truth yet. Initially people (myself included) blamed consummate pillar of coaching ineptitude Bob Hartley for this. When you take the fervent desire to see him turfed out of the equation it pans out like this: good on Bob for doing it. This is the only moment I praise him for anything.
Screw you bob Hartley how u scratch 2 of your best players fuck
— 20% chance (@NHL_T_Dot) February 9, 2016
And in turn, they barely beat a team engineered to fail. Yes, a team whose top-two centers for the game were Peter Holland and AHL legend/Mike Sillinger impersonator Mark Arcobello. Words literally escape me. Of course the media was certain to aptly praise for Hartley for having the cojones for coming to such an obvious ends to the means of the situation. Regardless, the Flames took their fathers on a road trip as they ventured out to California in search of gold. For that, they were treated to an 11 goal effort between two of the Trashcific’s finest. Karri Ramo died at the end of the game and Jonas Hiller saved the day. Only briefly I might add.
Things dramatically took a turn for the blurst when the Coyotes led by Shane Doan, a man who has gotten away with hurting more players than scoring goals finally became the leading scorer in franchise history. It must be hard sleeping at night knowing how many late hits, how many elbows, and how many headshots you’ve been responsible for. Good for you for this moment; we all collectively forgot about how much malice you play with. Thanks to great commentator Corey Hirsch for waxing every poetic ever written about you too. I’m sure viewers were really receptive to this.
“Everyone loves Shane Doan” – Hirsch
I don’t know if you’ve ever searched Twitter, but none of us like that elbowing trashfucker.
— AOL Keyword: Mike (@mikeFAIL) February 13, 2016
"That's why everybody loves Shane Doan"
Take it away twitter
— Blogger Millions (@bookofloob) February 13, 2016
When are the Flames getting Auston Matthews again?
It took Connor McDavid 19 games into his NHL career to score 5 points in one game.
Connor McDavid is SO GOOD that it took Jordan Eberle six games of playing with McDavid to score a hat trick, something he had yet to accomplish in SIX FULL SEASONS prior!
With 12 points in the 7 games back since breaking his collarbone Connor McDavid is now two points away from once again being in the top 10 of rookie scoring.
This has been your weekly Connor McDavid Update.
We've ripped on the Pacific division for being bad this year but the top three teams in the Atlantic is basically wrapped up.
— Steve Dangle Glynn (@Steve_Dangle) February 14, 2016
Suck it, Atlantic.
Thanks to all the amazing Pacific Division Bloggers. Check back next week for another edition of Pacific War Room! You can check out past editions of Pacific War Room here!