#TeamTRH 2015 Playoff Predictions
The 2015 Stanley Cup Playoffs are upon us and OH MY GOD THE LA KINGS DIDN’T MAKE IT!!!
Still, there will be some amazing games and series to watch. And since we’re all losers who have no real lives and we can’t find anyone who will hang out with us hardcore hockey fans, we went ahead and decided to do the most original idea we’ve ever come yup with: A playoff prediction post! So I went ahead and asked our #TeamTRH “experts” to show off their playoff bracket for public ridicule, provide 5 Bold Predictions as well as who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy and how the Cup-clinching goal will be scored. And guess what? Some of them even paid attention!
And check out our atrocious 2014-15 Season Predictions post to see how much we know about predicting the future.
Be sure to tweet early and often to remind us of every wrong prediction we’ve made.
Jack A. Wilson
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- The Kings will be a surprise entry (Royal Rumble style), and ultimately win their third Stanley Cup in four seasons when the Washington Capitals are DQ’d for using a foreign object (Alex Ovechkin).
- Trevor Lewis will win the MVP of the World Championships in Prague.
- The Ducks will use four different goalies, including Dustin Penner, who will rejoin the Ducks via the little-known 10-day postseason contract.
- Coyotes fans will be very confused about what color they should wear during Winnipeg’s home games.
- Everybody will remember why Alex Burrows is the worst.
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Mike Green
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- With a distinct kicking motion.
Indiana Matt
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- The Calgary Flames will win the Stanley Cup.
- Johnny Gaudreau will be the first NHL player to take a bath in the Stanley Cup. You know.. because he’s so small and adorable.
- Henrik Lundqvist will retire after being hurt in Round 1 and pursue his music career full time.
- After the aforementioned retirement begins, Matt Nieto will ask Henrik Lundqvist if he would like to “collabo” on a song, Henrik won’t know who the hell Matt Nieto is…
- #TeamTRH will all show up for a non-existent LA Kings Western Conference Finals watch party out of habit…
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Johnny Hockey
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- How else? Johnny Hockey with a flaming stick.
King Tufficult
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- The Penguins will be swept.
- By the second round, ESPN will bury their NHL coverage even deeper in the “Other” tab, below competitive hot dog eating and greyhound racing.
- This will be the most tantalizing, yet most disappointing playoffs in several years for those who wish to see the Stanley Cup awarded to a Canadian team.
- I will stray from my stated temporary allegiance to the Calgary Flames once I see those red jerseys again and start having PTSD.
- I will be contracted out by a low-seeded team to write a philosophically musing, yet broadly inspirational post for their fanbase.
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Martin St. Louis, marking the only real success by a “St. Louis” in the postseason.
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- In a stunning Coulomb Controversy!
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- The Los Angeles Kings will NOT appear in the Western Conference Finals for a 4th consecutive season.
- Alex Ovechkin won’t be blamed for the Capitals first round loss.
- Anaheim, St. Louis and Vancouver will all only use one goalie.
- There will be no smug references to how “advanced metrics” got it wrong and you can’t base everything on them. Oh wait… no… I mean that’s all the analysis will consist of.
- Nobody outside of the hockey world will care who wins
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Jonathan Toews
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- Shorthanded
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- Zach Parise will suffer an injury in the Round 1 that will last the duration of playoffs.
- Congratulations to the 2015 NHL Playoffs leading goal scorer, Marian Hossa.
- Marc-Andre Fleury chased from net after first two games, sits Game 3. It’s not that they’re mad at him, they’re just disappointed.
- There will be one player from each conference suspended for at least one game.
- There will be three penalty shots throughout the playoffs.
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Rick Nash
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- By the puck entering the goal.
Flubber McGee
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- Diehard NHL fans are finally able to name more than one Minnesota Wild player.
- The Penguins play more than half of their games with only 5 defensemen due to cap issues, and the national media uses the words “gritty,” “hard-nosed,” and “pragmatic” to describe them.
- (or 2b) Dean Lombardi continues to be vilified.
- The Canadiens and Capitals fail to live up to expectations. Oh, these are supposed to be BOLD predictions? Whoops…
- The Blues win a game.
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Jason LaBarbera
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- In the middle of the ring, with Alex Ovechkin waving a Russian flag over a writhing John Cena.
Jersey Brian
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- Dean Lombardi somehow finds a loophole to trade the Anaheim Ducks for the LA Kings to get the team back into the playoffs and somehow wins cup No. 3.
- Despite being eliminated, the Sharks will find a way to disappoint their franchise.
- The Hamburglar will be foiled in the first round when Carey Price puts on a Mayor McCheese mask.
- The Islanders and Rangers will meet in Round 2. It will be a thing of my nightmares.
- Gary Bettman will get booed.
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Carey Price
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- A power-play goal in the third period with 6 minutes remaining.
PumperNicholl
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- Much like a 5-12 matchup in the NCAA Tournament, the Flames and Canucks series will be the most entertaining opening round series.
- The Anaheim Ducks social media team will tweet out “To everyone in the world outside of Anaheim, we’re sorry” after the team defeats the Winnipeg Jets to make up for their use of fake tweets on fan Social Media Night.
- We see the headline: “Bishop Takes Rook” when Ben Bishop outduels Andrew Hammond in a hard-fought seven-game series between the Tampa Bay Lightning and Ottawa Senators.
- Up 3-0 in the Conference Semifinals, the St. Louis Blues coaching staff foolishly proclaims they have finally solved the Chicago Blackhawks. Ken Hitchcock will be fired 10 days later.
- After a grueling six-game series, the New York Rangers eliminate the Blackhawks to appear to win the Stanley Cup. But a little known NHL loophole is used by the LA Kings when they cash in their “Money in the Bank” briefcase that is given to the reigning champions. Chaos ensues when Jonathan Toews takes out Henrik Lundqvist to help the Kings reclaim their title and keep the Stanley Cup in the Western Conference.
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- Henrik Lundqvist
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- Off a Rick Nash one-timer that isn’t deflected.
The Royal Half
5 Bold Predictions for the Playoffs:
- The LA Kings will not advance past the 1st Round.
- There will be such a goaltending controversy with the St. Louis Blues that Martin Brodeur starts Game 4.
- Kings fans will be cheering for Lubomir Visnovksy to lift the Cup like it was a plate of cookies.
- There will be such a goaltending controversy with the Anaheim Ducks that Bruce Boudreau will be fired before Game 4.
- Minnesota will sweep Chicago.
Who will win the Conn Smythe Trophy?
- If Washington wins the Cup, The Royal Half will be the MVP because I will have won $5000 from a bet during Frozen Fury in October!!! Also Braden Holtby.
How will the Stanley Cup-clinching goal be scored?
- By Alex Ovechkin and he will somehow get a minus on that shift to shove it down the throat of hockey sportswriters everywhere.
