LA Kings Player Power Rankings – Week 27


These are the Power Rankings of the regular season, but will they be the final rankings of the entire season for the Kings? Actually, forget I said that. I don’t want to think about that being a possibil- OH, GOD THE KINGS ARE GOING TO GET BOUNCED OUT OF THEIR PLAYOFF SPOT! THE HORROR! WHY, GOD? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US?!?! Err, I mean, should be an exciting final week of the season, eh, fellas?

1 Drew Doughty – First Reggie loses to Gustl and now Justin Williams might steal Drew’s goal from last week. Poor Doughty just can’t catch a break. (Last week: 1)
2 Anze Kopitar – It really looked like Kopi was going to finish the season with a negative plus/minus, but then the Oilers happened. He’s now at zero, but there is another Oilers game looming, so getting to +30 seems totally doable. (Last week: 2)
3 Jeff Carter – It is going to be hard, but Carter still has a chance at beating out Anze for the team scoring title. He trails by three points, but if anyone can score a threesome, it is Jeff Carter. (Last week: 3)
4 Marian GaborikGaborik said he felt bad for Bunz after the Oilers game. I’m sure he meant well, but if I was Bunz, I’d be real hot if an opponent pitied me like that. I’d be downright cross with him. I’d be hot, cross Bunz. (Last week: 6)
5 Jonathan Quick – Between getting whooped by the Blackhawks, demolishing the Oilers and barely allowing any shots against the Avs, one could argue that the Kings would’ve had the exact same record last week if they’d just stuck a garbage can in front of the net instead of Quick. A real missed opportunity to rest him. (Last week: 4)
6 Tyler Toffoli – Toffoli really blew it against the Oilers. All the other 70s players scored a goal, but somehow Tyler couldn’t slip one through Bunz. (Last week: 5)
7 Jake Muzzin – I had a comment planned about Muzzin’s goal against Chicago, but that would require me to admit that debacle of a game actually happened. (Last week: 7)
8 Alec Martinez – Martinez was so excited to be scoring a goal again that he scored it twice, just to be sure. (Last week: 10)
9 Dustin Brown – Darryl Sutter wanted the Easter Bunny to bring Dustin Brown more goal-scoring games. I don’t think Darryl Sutter understands how the Easter Bunny works. At all. (Last week: 9)
10 Justin Williams – Game 77? Two points for Williams. Just as I predicted. Also, getting points against the Oilers is incredibly easy to predict so I deserve absolutely no credit. (Last week: 11)
11 Andrej Sekera – Sekera is hurt now? See? THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS! (Last week: 8)
12 Dwight King – Dwight King had a pretty good week cleaning up Jeff Carter’s leftovers. I imagine that strategy works pretty well off the ice as well (Last week: 13)
13 Trevor Lewis – With two assists this week, Lewis now has more assists this year than he has had points in any previous season. There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m not sure who it is on. (Last week: 12)
14 Kyle CliffordKyle Clifford got to meet Ronda Rousey! And, yes, for those asking, he did fight her and lose because losing fights is what he does. (Last week: 14)
15 Jordan Nolan – Here’s a weird thing: Nolan ended a 20-game goal-scoring drought and I was legitimately shocked he’d gone that long without a goal. This has been a weird season, man. (Last week: 16)
16 Brayden McNabb – That whole unjust benching thing didn’t last very long, now did it? (Last week: 15)
17 Robyn Regehr – Just so we are all clear on this, Regehr got the Kings Masterton nomination because he 1) didn’t get concussed like Martinez and 2) didn’t do that thing that Voynov did. Perseverance! (Last week: 18)
18 Jarret Stoll – Stoll made his triumphant return to the lineup against the Oilers, almost as if he wanted to showcase himself to them as a veteran that they can grossly overpay for his leadership abilities this offseason. (Last week: 17)
19 Matt Greene – Since this might be my last chance to use my powers for some good, let’s see if we can’t get the no goal in a jinxbreaker will work on Greene. If it does work, I think I might officially be a wizard. (Last week: 19)
20 Martin Jones – Jones didn’t play again this week, but life could be worse for a back-up goaltender. For example, his last name could be Bunz. An even worse example, he could be on the Oilers. (Last week: 20)
21 Nick Shore – NICK! NICK! How does it feel to be the only Kings forward who didn’t register a point against the Oilers? (Last week: 22)
22 Mike Richards – How nice of the Kings to call Richards back up only so they could healthy scratch him. That’s both kind of depressing and an impressive troll job at the same time. (Last week: 21)
23 Andy Andreoff – Andy remains (Andre)off the ice and will probably do so for the rest of the season. (Last week: 23)
24 Jamie McBain – I can’t think of a pun right now, but year, McBain probably isn’t going to play again either. FIN. (Last week: 24)

Agree? Disagree? I don’t really care! If you still feel compelled to sound off on the rankings, go ahead and leave a comment. It’s a free world.

Garrett Wilson is a lifelong LA Kings fan who now finds himself trapped in the hockey wasteland of the Pacific Northwest. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry. The again, you probably wouldn't like him when he's not angry either. You should probably follow Garret Wilson on Twitter @Garrett_MWAH