LA Kings Player Power Rankings – End of Season Edition

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Ah, the final edition of the Power Rankings for the 2014-15 LA Kings season. What a nice opportunity to look back at the season, that amazing playoff run and then head outside to enjoy this wonderful June weather. What’s that now? April you say? They didn’t make the playoffs? Is that even allowed? Wow, how embarrassing. Surely though they were only bested by a team stacked with talent whose success isn’t at all a fluke. Come again? THE FLAMES! I give up. Let’s just get this over with.

RANK PLAYER COMMENT
1 Drew Doughty – Boy, his forthcoming Norris trophy is going to look real nice in pictures with the Stanley Cup this offseason. Oh, right. I keep forgetting. (Last week: 1)
2 Anze Kopitar – The fact that Anze still led the Kings in points despite it being his lowest full season total since his rookie year tells you all you need to know about the 2014-15 Kings. (Last week: 2)
3 Jeff Carter – Jeff Carter had a terrific season and I am definitely not bitter that he went without a goal in the final five games of the Kings system. (Last week: 3)
4 Jonathan Quick – On the bright side, we won’t have to spend the entire playoffs debating whether or not Quick is really an elite goalie. (Last week: 5)
5 Tyler Toffoli – The Kings missed the playoffs by two points in a season which Toffoli missed several games with mono. That hurts. (Last week: 6)
6 Marian Gaborik – The silver lining of missing the playoff is that is about 20 or so games in which Gaborik won’t have an opportunity to get hurt in, so he might actually be fully healthy all of next season! (Last week: 4)
7 Jake Muzzin – I’m sure none of the old school hockey writers will bring up the fact that the Kings missed the playoffs despite having Corsi-deity Jake Muzzin on the roster. I’m also sure that when they don’t do that, they will not call the stat community “nerds.” (Last week: 7)
8 Justin Williams – The playoffs are starting, but Justin Williams isn’t involved. So, can Game 7’s still actually happen? (Last week: 10)
9 Alec Martinez – No matter what team you root for, I think we can all agree that the Stanley Cup Playoffs just won’t be the same without Martinez scoring series-clinching goals. (Last week: 8)
10 Dustin Brown – If the Kings were a dysfunctional team, this would be the part where Brown gets his captaincy stripped and then put on the trade block. Good thing the Kings aren’t dysfunctional. Oh… DAMMIT. (Last week: 9)
11 Andrej Sekera – Well, trading for Sekera was a nice idea, in theory. Hopefully he gives the Kings a discount and re-signs with them to make up for that whole “suffering an injury at a really bad time” garbage. If you think about it, he owes them. (Last week: 11)
12 Trevor Lewis – Some people will remember this season as the year the Kings shockingly missed the playoffs, but I’ll remember it as the season Trevor Lewis shockingly was not terrible. (Last week: 13)
13 Dwight King – You’d think the NHL would’ve found a way to sneak the Kings into the playoffs, if only in the interest of public safety as it would’ve kept Dwight King off the streets for a few extra weeks. (Last week: 12)
14 Kyle Clifford – I, for one, am bummed that Clifford didn’t get pummeled in one last fight, just to put a nice little bow on his season. (Last week: 14)
15 Tanner Pearson – Dang, I was so looking forward to Pearson re-joining the team in the first round and lighting up the playoffs. (Last week: n/a)
16 Jordan Nolan – You knew the Kings’ season was screwed when Jordan Nolan was the one who had to score the clutch goal to try and get them back in the game against Calgary. (Last week: 15)
17 Jarret Stoll – Stoll says he wants to return to the Kings in whatever role they have for him. I’m sure the Kings love to hear that from a guy in his mid-thirties coming off the worst year of his career. (Last week: 18)
18 Robyn Regehr – Gets nominated for a perseverance award. One week later, quits hockey completely when his team misses the playoffs. Just kidding, enjoy retirement, Big Rig. (Last week: 17)
19 Brayden McNabb – Between McNabb’s improvements in the second half and the attrition of the blue line this offseason, I can’t wait to see what reason Sutter comes up with to scratch McNabb next season. (Last week: 16)
20 Matt Greene – Greene is really going to miss Regehr because now Greene is the only aged, immobile, unskilled defense for the fans to direct their ire at. (Last week: 19)
21 Martin Jones – I’m not saying it is Jones’s fault that the Kings lost to the Oilers and basically ruined their entire season in the process, but he sure didn’t help matters. (Last week: 20)
22 Nick Shore – Nick Shore will be the only member of the Kings to actually play in the post-season, ironically. Sure, it is with the Manchester Monarchs, but at least it is the playoffs. (Last week: 21)
23 Mike Richards – It was a tough year for Richards. This is the part where I’m supposed to counter that with some sort of optimistic “silver lining” statement… I got nothing. Richards is really bad, you guys. (Last week: 22)
24 Andy Andreoff – The fact that Andreoff scored the final Kings goal of the season is strangely fitting. (Last week: 23)
25 Jamie McBain – So much talk about the three big UFAs the Kings might lose this offseason, yet nobody mentions McBain. Nobody ever mentions Jamie McBain for anything. He’s got feelings too, you guys. (Last week: 24)

Agree? Disagree? I don’t really care! If you still feel compelled to sound off on the rankings, go ahead and leave a comment. It’s a free world.

Garrett Wilson is a lifelong LA Kings fan who now finds himself trapped in the hockey wasteland of the Pacific Northwest. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry. The again, you probably wouldn't like him when he's not angry either. You should probably follow Garret Wilson on Twitter @Garrett_MWAH