Road To The Stadium Series: Episode 2

As in Episode 1, EPIX introduced a Coors Light Cold Hard Fact before the show began.

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Man, they are really hammering that point home.

Episode 2 opened with the LA Kings trip to the White House to meet President Barack Obama. …Again.

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Fans were already aware of Drew Doughty and Marian Gaborik mocking NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman for his choice of footwear.

But as it turns out, Gaborik also had some questions for Drew about his own attire.

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This is literally porn for @NHLTies.

Anze Kopitar and Dustin Brown were clearly humbled by the opportunity to meet the President for the second time.

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Congrats to Kopitar on truly becoming an American Citizen…
…by criticizing the current president.

Darryl Sutter just looked awkwardly happy to be there.

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There’s something amazing about seeing everyone gather to meet the most powerful man in America.

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Of course I’m talking about Dean Lombardi.

After their second trip to the White House in three years, the Kings were ready to take on the Washington Capitals.

I’ll spare you the horror of reliving that game. The look on Drew Doughty’s face said it all anyway.

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Playing only slightly worse than the LA Kings were the adorable children of the San Jose Sharks.

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Awww… little Joe Pavelski is diving. Like father, like son.

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This is actually who the Sharks plan to start against the Kings in the Playoffs.

When the LA Kings completed their historical Reverse Sweep last April, plenty of people questioned the San Jose Sharks leadership and the team’s intestinal fortitude.

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FYI, that’s the only Cup Joe Thornton has ever brought home.

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And that’s the best hit a Hannan has had in years.

While focusing on the younger generation, it’s easy to forget that sometimes these teams have some true veteran leadership. Which in this case just means that some of the Kings players are getting really old.

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WHO STILL READS NEWSPAPERS?!?

You know who doesn’t read newspapers? Doomsday Preppers, that’s who. And based on what we learned about his menagerie last week, I was pretty sure Brent Burns owned a well-stocked fallout shelter.

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But now that I’ve seen his “carry-on bag,” I’m sure of it.
Seriously, what could possibly be in that bag that would need to be blurred?

I did, however, enjoy Brent Burns’ custom San Jose Sharks Beats By Dre.

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As opposed to when the Sharks get Beat(s) by Blackhawks.

A long-standing hockey joke is the constant mention of the fact that Matt Nieto is from Long Beach.

Well, what most mainstream hockey media has failed to mention is that not only is Matt Nieto from Long Beach… but he’s also a DJ!

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Yup, that’s my new ringtone.

I wish there was some way to visually represent what it’s like to both hear Matt Nieto rap and learn that he’s from Long Beach in the same breath.

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The episode transitions from the sublime (see what I did there?) to the ridiculous as it explores the LA Kings loss to the Florida Panthers. In which the highlight was a team dinner where we learn that Andy Andreoff has never heard of the saltine challenge before.

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And that the way to Doughty’s heart…

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… is to write on his food?

With Willie Mitchell no longer available to sit on the bench alongside Justin Williams to create a memorable pregame ritual, Dustin Brown has taken it upon himself to spell out “LA” in pucks before every game.

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Proving that Dustin Brown can, in fact, spell “LA”.

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The episode ended on a much higher note as it featured the LA Kings win over the Tampa Bay Lightning. Next weeks episode promises to be even better as the Kings continue their march to a playoff spot. Here’s a sneak peek at Darryl Sutter’s “Double Rainbow Offense.”

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Whoa. It’s so intense.

EPISODE 2 GRADE: Dwight King Smile

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EPISODE 1 GIF OF THE GAME: Gabbo Gabbo Winko

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The only thing Jesse Cohen loves more than the LA Kings is talking to strangers about the LA Kings. You can follow Jesse Cohen on Twitter @KingsMenPodcast.