In an effort to keep Los Angeles Kings fans aware of the comings and goings of the other teams in the Smythe Pacific Division… we here at The Royal Half have created the Pacific War Room… a wrap-up of the past week in the Pacific from some of the best and brightest bloggers who cover Pacific Division teams. In order of the Pacific Division standings… we present the Pacific War Room for the week of February 6th, 2015!


1st PLACE, 34-12-6, 74 POINTS

Anaheim has twice this season gone two games without a standings point – once at the end of November, when they lost to the Sharks and Blackhawks on consecutive days, and once at the end of January, when they lost to the Sharks and Blackhawks on consecutive days. So yup, this week started with a 4-1 beating by the Blackhawks.

Then Eric Brewer came back from his broken foot and everything started going right once again. It’s completely bizarre to me that the Ducks are now basically injury-free (yeah, Ryan Getzlaf missed yesterday’s game with a late injury, but c’mon, let me pretend). Mark Fistric, Colby Robak, Emerson Etem and Dany Heatley are AHLers, and the NHL roster on a lot of nights looks pretty darn deep. Next thing you know, Sheldon Souray is going to dig his way out of his grave and finish out his contract.

The Ducks finished the week by edging the Hurricanes in overtime, 5-4, before delivering the Predators just their third regulation loss on home ice, 5-2. Getzlaf completed the comeback against Carolina with his 199th career goal, then hurt himself in warmups before he could even attempt a chance at 200.

Still, another week ended atop the league and atop the Pacific. To the tweets!


2nd PLACE, 28-18-7, 63 POINTS
@stace_ofbase from Battle of California

Greetings my Pacific Division friends and foes! Hockey sure was a roller coaster this week, especially in the Pacific Division. Well, I guess for the Kings it was a roller coaster if there’s a roller coaster that is just a plummeting drop into a fiery pit of garbage. Y’all had a good run, and summers are nice in Southern California, it’s about time you guys start to enjoy them again. It’s for the best.

Anyway, back to the Sharks, who had a rather shorky week, as usual. They kicked off last weekend by shutting out the Blackhawks in a rather boring game, because the Blackhawks make pretty much every team they play unwatchable. But apparently, the Blackhawks are still good, so I guess I should feel some sense of accomplishment that my favorite team beat them. Melker Karlsson scored pretty early in the game and then there was about two hours of crickets until Joe Thornton did what he does best … (shut the fuck up, I swear to god) … scored an empty net goal, or as I liked to call it, an accidental pass into the net. Haha suck it Chicago.

Then there was Edmonton … oh goddammit you shorky Sharks. Joe Pavelski kicked off the scoring and then for whatever reason unknown to me, it was all Edmonton after that. Edmonton went up 3-1 and OH MY GOD there’s another period??? I cried. I didn’t know how the Sharks were going to survive this one, because the Oilers are notoriously excellent in the third period.

So yeah, as you could guess, the Sharks, who were down 3-1, managed to tie up the game four minutes into the third period (SCOTT HANNAN GOAL ALERT) and then grabbed the lead at the midway point. Due to Shorkiness, the Sharks allowed Edmonton to score late in the third, then overtime happened, and then the most painfully long shootout to ever exist commenced. It was like watching Edmonton MSM try to pick a fight with a blogger, just sad. Oilers win because of course they do.

Then it was off to Calgary, where the attractive cousins flow like wine, and the country music makes you wish you were deaf. I have an alliance with Calgary because as long as they keep getting points, it helps further prevent Los Angeles from making the postseason, so I was going into this game hoping for a three-pointer. That did not happen, obviously, because I cannot have nice things, but hey, a Calgary win isn’t the worst thing in the world. The worst thing to happen in that game was actually at Calgary’s expense…

Hahaha, deked you good dere bud, fuckin rights.

Which leads into something more hilarious….

The coaching staff clearly wanted to send a message that they do not want John Scott, Scott Hannan, and Tyler Kennedy to do anything useful whatsoever. Got it.

Which leads me to the game against Vancouver, who is another rather unconvincing playoff bubble team — that pretty much describes every Pacific team except for Arizona, Los Angeles and Edmonton, who are just unconvincing.

Anyway, the Sharks trounced the Canucks, which in my opinion, never ever gets old. We saw goals from Matt Irwin, Chris Tierney (first of his career), and Andrew Desijardins, which made it even funnier. Joe Pavelski got his 28th of the season and he is tied for 3rd overall in the league in goal scoring.


As I previously stated, this week was obviously a roller coaster, but damn, it was a hell of a ride.

This weekend the Sharks play Carolina and it shoul-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


3rd PLACE, 29-20-3, 61 POINTS
@BookOfLoob from Flames Nation

Our good pals over at the Conference III Blog have a little something called the Conference III Championship Belt, the title awarded to whichever team within the Central Division who currently reigns victorious over the rest of the Division. It’s an award fraught with rich tradition, and the honour to lay claim to it in unparalleled.

If such a championship existed within the ranks of the Pacific War Room, your Calgary Flames would be Bruno Goddamn Sammartino.

“And this Sunday, at Corsifest, we’re going to crown the Kings, we’re going to spear the Sharks and, brother, we are going to fuck those Ducks, and we’re going to walk away with the Pacific War Room Belt”

The Flames just do not lose to the Pacific Division, minus sometimes to the Ducks, but that one doesn’t count seeing as there has been a curse placed upon the team that comes into effect whenever the team is in direct proximity with the Honda Center. When the time comes and that sinister gypsy decides to reverse the curse, the Ducks are dead in the water too, and they know it.

Honestly, it gets a little boring, you know? The rest of you schlubs keep trying to think up new ways to sink the Flames, and yet, every week I have to come in here and talk about how the Flames beat the Oilers (naturally), or beat the Sharks, or the Kings, or the Kings, or the Kings, or the Kings, or the Kings, or the Kings.

Just, you know, some variety would be nice.

I wish I had some sort of visual representation of what it must feel like to be the Pacific trying to figure out how to beat the Flames, knowing they won’t come out of the third period (the magic hour, as I like to call it just now for the first time ever but will probably continue doing)

Yeah, I guess that’ll do nicely. (I know I kinda just ripped that shtick off from the good people here at the Royal Half, but when you so consistently watch the Flames dismantle the Kings, you get to do what you want around here) EDITOR’S NOTE: *sobbing*

I’ll give the rest of the division some credit though, they’re trying to think of new ways to upset these young kids in the red silks. Take the San Jose Sharks, as an example. No one saw John Scott scoring a goal coming. I still can’t believe it happened, and I was in the building to see it.

The only thing is, and we’ll be sure to let Todd McLellan know about it, is that you should attempt the secret John Scott goal BEFORE you fall behind 3-0 and have everyone in Calgary laugh about it rather than implode from the sheer unheralded power of John Scott with a mostly empty net.

Also, I have no idea if I spelled McLellan right and I don’t care. Perk of owning this division.

The Oilers tried it too, bless their precious little adorably underwhelming hearts. They had Calgary on the ropes, 2-0, after the first period. Sure, Edmonton has been ahead of Calgary in every game they’ve played in this year, only to Oiler it all away and lose the game like only they can (and only they do, except for the Kings now, apparrently)


But of course, it did not matter, as it never quite does for the Oilers. And, in their defense, the Flames tried their own trickery in advance of the game, just to be a good provincial ally and make Edmonton believe they had a fighting chance in this one:

All this before cruelly wresting away any shred of hope from the shattered and fragile psyche of a once proud and storied franchise. I guess it really is kind of a dick move.


So while the rest of you all try to determine among yourselves which organization and city is just un-racist enough to take a run at trading for Evander Kane, deseprately grasping at whatever straw you need to keep your sad, muddled shot at postseason glory alive (not you, Vancouver), the Flames we’ll just be over there, winning, beating this division senseless, chasing the Ducks who are just about primed to go on their season ending tank job.

I don’t know if rebuilding teams are supposed to experience so much success within their own division, but you have to understand, our only basis for comparison on this thing comes from Edmonton.

I’m just going to leave these here because I like them but don’t know where to fit them into this piece, because I’m a terrible, terrible writer. Thank you.

Pete Carroll was high as fuck when he made that call. See you next week.


4th PLACE, 28-19-3, 59 POINTS
@PetBugs13 from Canucks Army

It’s been another up and down week for the Canucks, alternating wins and losses as they have been wont to do of late.

They kicked it off with a win over the Sabres, lost a lackluster effort to the Wild, came back for an overtime win against the Jets, and finished the week with a horrible outing against the Sharks.

Don’t know what it is, but damn this team does not play well against the Sharks.

This would be the place where a real blog would put the Canucks record against the Sharks over the last three of four years, but let’s be serious: you don’t care and I’m too hungover to do the research.

Yes, in what otherwise would have been a poor decision, I was out doing a crawl of some local craft breweries last night. But given that it meant I missed watching any of last night’s debacle against the Sharks, it turned out alright after all. A hangover on a work day is a small price to pay.

Appropriately enough, we finished off the night at a place with no outside signage that you can only find by looking for the red light over the door. No, this secret Vancouver nightspot is not located behind the Canucks’ net:


It’s does have a better defense, though.

Speaking of nights on the town, Jets’ forward Evander Kane missed Tuesday’s game against the Canucks after an incident earlier in the day. And when I say he missed the game, he missed it entirely. It wasn’t just that he was scratched and sat in the press box. According to reports, he was AWOL all day and wasn’t seen again until the flight back to Winnipeg.

The story, as it has been told so far, is that Kane showed up at a team meeting in a track suit instead of a suit suit, and the other players didn’t take too kindly to this insolence. So Dustin Byfuglien took it upon himself to show young Kane what immaturity really looks like, by throwing said track suit into the shower while Kane was off getting some physical therapy.

Kane, as you might expect from a brash young man in his early 20s, didn’t really see the irony in the situation or take is as a learning experience. Or maybe he did, because that’s when he decided to go AWOL, not to be seen again until the flight home.

While that may be the story so far, it’s still not the whole story. Word on the street is that Kane decided to take in some dinner and dancing that afternoon. Yes, I know that it was over lunch and not dinner. But hey, I’m just a lowly blogger. I’m sure an enterprising journalist with a stack of 20s could probably get to the bottom of this cover up. All I know is that even if he hadn’t broken the Jets’ dress code, there was probably and undress code that was broken somewhere along the way:


All this to say that Vancouver has its own bad-boy-about-town, Zack Kassian, who depsite being able to talk a good game, is still having trouble getting to actually play in one:


But hey, it’s not like the Canucks need any help scoring, right?



5th PLACE, 21-18-12 54 POINTS
@PumperNicholl from The Royal Half

The LA Kings were the only team from the Pacific Division that was unable to earn a point in the standings during the past week.

In their three games, they mustered up a total of three goals.

One was from Jordan Nolan. Another was scored by Jamie McBain.

Now, they find themselves in 12th place in the Western Conference and five points out of a playoff spot. The Kings would need to leapfrog past Dallas, Minnesota, Colorado and either Vancouver or Winnipeg to secure a Wildcard spot.

So what I’m trying to say is…

Things do not look good for our heroes.

That said, there are still 31 games left in the regular season. If the Kings truly get bored during the monotony of October through April, then they’ve created the added drama of the playoffs early this year.

This team has come back from the seemingly impossible multiple times in the last three years. Will it happen again? It’s not inconceivable. But, right now, it’s easy to see why many don’t think they have a chance.



6th PLACE, 19-26-7, 45 POINTS
@CarlPutnam from Five For Howling

This past week was all about home and family for Arizona’s NHL franchise. Though June is never far from the minds of those in the Valley of the Sun.

Tank symbol

Centers Martin Hanzal and Joe Vitale missed the entire week due to injury. The latter’s absence may have been a blessing as the penalty kill and fourth line play improved in his absence.

Sibling Game

Two pairs of brothers squared off in Canada’s capital for a Saturday matinee.

The game itself was plain ugly for those wearing Sedona Red. Young prospect Louis Domingue made his NHL debut after Mike Smith was pulled after giving up five goals. The prospect surrendered two more. The final tally was Ottawa 7, Arizona 2, as younger brothers Milan and Mark carried the day.

Hometown Game

In most years this game would be all about two cousins.

However, Carey Price was tired from facing about 1,000 shots the day before against Washington, so Dustin Toharski got the start for the Montreal. This was good news for Quebec native Domingue who was making his first NHL start. The young Yotes netminder got a win his first time out with a little help from the Korpedo and Oliver Ekman-Awesome.

Louis’ mom seemed really nonplussed about the whole thing.

Amazingly, she may not have been the person most excited about the young netminder’s win.

Hometown Game II

Domingue wasn’t the only Arizona player playing in his hometown during the week. Young Coyotes defensemen Connor Murphy returned to the town he spent a fair amount of his youth in.

This may be the most press the stay at home blueliner ever sees at his locker unless he scores the winning goal in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final.

The Coyotes controlled most of the game and their excellent road PP continued to pay off with goals from Shane Doan and Ekman-Awesome en route to a 4-1 win. OEL’s goal was his 15th of the season (best for NHL defensemen and best on his team period).

Back Home Game

Now that the massive Katy Perry concert was over…

…Arizona was finally let back into their own building after weeks of being forced “on the road.” Somehow, I’m doubting Slim Galliard was playing in the locker room during the roadie.

The game itself was essentially what you would expect when two teams battling for lottery position square off. Lots of boring hockey mixed in with occasional excitement, though most of the excitement came in extra time save for David Moss scoring his first goal of the season in the first period. This happened just hours after the guy I share this space with dropped this nugget. The Canes won in a shootout, though one could argue Arizona’s goaltender was the best player on the ice all night.

Arizona bagged five out of a possible eight points for the week to put them further away from acquiring one of the top two picks in this year’s entry draft. This season truly is the worst.

A slight ray of tanking sunshine is on the horizon as this coming week’s opponents are the Wings, Hawks, and Blues.


7th PLACE, 14-29-9, 37 POINTS
@JSBMjeanshorts from Oilers Nation

Sorry guys, I’m pretty busy this week writing a 14,000 word dissertation on why the Edmonton media is worse than ISIS.

Anyway, the Oilers are marginally better, which is to say they’re still terrible but not Buffalo Sabres terrible. They blew a two goal lead against the Flames, and I don’t have a media pass so take this for what it’s worth, but I feel like their defensive coverage may have led to their downfall.

Even the officials couldn’t help but get caught up in fun!

Next if was off to San Jose, for what has now become basically an automatic 2 points from the incredibly generous San Jose Sharks.

The Oilers seemed a little distracted…

…and the defence continues to be slightly lacking…

…but the Oilers ended up coming home with two points anyway!

Also, does anyone know if Logan Couture was able to find his way back to the dressing room after the game without the aid of an adult?

Finally the Pittsburgh Penguins came to town and the Oilers were able to get reacquainted with some former teammates.

JSBM and Oilersnation are off to Moose Jaw today to watch the Moose Jaw Warriors retire Ryan Smyth’s jersey, so if you don’t ever hear from me again it’s probably because I died from not being able to handle occupying the same space as the immortal Smytty. WISH ME LUCK!



Pacific War Room Standings 2.6.2015

Thanks to all the amazing Pacific Division Bloggers. Check back next Friday for another edition of Pacific War Room! You can check out past editions of Pacific War Room here!

PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games… and the Police Academy movies. You should probably follow PumperNicholl on Twitter @pumpernicholl