LA Kings Player Power Rankings – Week 17

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The Kings are off for the All-Star break and just off in general. Fortunately for you, the Power Rankings take no breaks. I mean, really, it is just writing snarky comments about hockey players. It isn’t that taxing. I’d have to be a special kind of lazy to need a Power Rankings break.

RANK PLAYER COMMENT
1 Chris Sutter – You da real All-Star Game MVP.
2 Anze Kopitar – Kopi served as a passer in the All-Star Skills Competition this weekend. Even during a skills challenge, Kopitar still needs to shoot more. (Last week: 1)
3 Drew Doughty – After seeing Doughty’s personality shine during the All-Star Draft, some have suggested Drew be part of a roast-type show. Seeing how Doughty has no sordid personal history, I’m sure such an idea would go over without any issues. (Last week: 2)
4 Marian Gaborik – Things aren’t all bad for the Kings. Gaborik took a dirty hit from behind from Joe Thornton and managed not to end up on the IR. Things are looking up! (Last week: 3)
5 Jeff Carter – I have a solution to the Kings’ struggles: Trade Jeff Carter. Send him to Columbus then trade back for him again a week later. (Last week: 4)
6 Justin Williams – So, by waiving Mike Richards, the Kings can just give all of his contract to Justin Williams so he doesn’t leave via free agency after the season, right? (Last week: 5)
7 Jonathan Quick – Quick already has more losses (including overtime and shootout) than he did all of last season. That’s a good thing, right? (Last week: 7)
8 Jake Muzzin – So when do we get to cash in all the Corsi bucks in exchange for the points that the Kings have given away this month? (Last week: 6)
9 Trevor Lewis – Lewis took a tumble down the “Corsi For” leaderboard. I’m not sure exactly how, but I’m pretty sure this is Robyn Regehr’s fault. (Last week: 9)
10 Jarret Stoll – Thanks to a scoring change a day later, Jarret, ahem, Stoll a goal from Matt Greene last week. (Last week: 10)
11 Dustin Brown – No matter how bad things get, at least we can count on Dustin Brown to score against the Sharks. (Last week: 11)
12 Alec Martinez – This was one of those weeks where Alec Martinez needed a reminder that he’s a DEFENSEman. (Last week: 8)
13 Tyler Toffoli – Are we sure that Toffoli has mono? The Kings have been making me sick with their play of late, maybe Toffoli is just patient zero. (Last week: 12)
14 Dwight King – A timeless riddle: If King’s linemate gets waived, does Dwight still have a smile on his face? (Last week: 13)
15 Matt Greene – For a minute there, the “month without a goal” magic actually worked for Greene. I knew it was too good to be true. (Last week: 14)
16 Kyle Clifford – After not fighting since November 13th, Clifford has been in three fights in the last five games. He really seems to be acting out. I suspect he is having some trouble at home and advise him to speak with the guidance counselor. (Last week: 17)
17 Brayden McNabb – Not much for McNabb to do but keep on playing and waiting for the Kings to trade for someone who will take all his playing time. (Last week: 16)
18 Robyn Regehr – Robyn is back in the lineup… it didn’t really seem to help. (Last week: 20)
19 Martin Jones – Jones best not milk this back injury lest he risk getting J.F. Berube’d. (Last week: 18)
20 Mike Richards – Richards is now on waivers. That decision not to amnesty him this last offseason is really looking great. (Last week: 15)
21 Tanner Pearson – Still broken. In fact, I’ll probably be dropping him from the rankings since he figures to miss the rest of the season. Go ahead and take one last glimpse at those bonkers eyes of his. (Last week: 19)
22 Nick Shore – Aww, how cute. Nick got his first NHL point. Anyone know where I can get it bronzed? Do people even still bronze things anymore? (Last week: 25)
23 Jordan Nolan – Nolan actually logged powerplay time this last week. I give up. (Last week: 21)
24 Jamie McBain – Kings need more jam, not Jamie. (Last week: 22)
25 Andy Andreoff – Still a healthy scratch. Still no one complaining about it. (Last week: 23)
26 Jeff Schultz – Schultz has been “loaned” to the Manchester Monarchs. #StopHumanTrafficking (Last week: 24)

Agree? Disagree? I don’t really care! If you still feel compelled to sound off on the rankings, go ahead and leave a comment. It’s a free world.

Garrett Wilson is a lifelong LA Kings fan who now finds himself trapped in the hockey wasteland of the Pacific Northwest. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry. The again, you probably wouldn't like him when he's not angry either. You should probably follow Garret Wilson on Twitter @Garrett_MWAH