There are some match ups where finding a topic to write about is so easy it turns out to be extremely hard. There are so many different directions to go, so many angles to consider, so many potential jokes to make that my brain becomes a convoluted mess and nothing gets written at all. Or when it does it comes out as jumbled, erratic verbal diarrhea 

The Coyotes provide one of these matchups tonight. Where do I begin with this team?

For one, they are a divisional rival, who the Kings faced only three years ago in a marquee playoff series. A series that produced one of the greatest goals and most powerful moments in LA Kings History.

Miss you Penner

If the 2012 Conference Finals is too far in the past to be the focus of an early December game in 2014, then how about basing the post on their enigmatic goaltender? A guy who has found a way to have his impressive ability to stop pucks be consistently overshadowed by his even more impressive antics. Surely I could write something about that.


Not to be lost in this play was that absolutley awful pass


Impressive effort to try and remove his helmet before the rest of his body hit the ice


I’d be upset too if one of my defenseman had the last name Schlemko

Ok maybe Mike Smith is too easy of a target. Perhaps instead I would take the chance to chastize the Coyotes for their current state of futility on the ice, referencing their lowly spot in the standings, but then I realized that didn’t work so well the last time.

Moving on, there is of course there are all the other punchlines that are just begging to be told when it comes to the Coyotes, such as (in no particular order):

-Shane Doan
-The concept of promoting a “white out”, when your opponent is the one wearing white uniforms
-Giving a protein shake company the naming rights to your building’s luxury suite level
-Their fans’ confusion as to the definition of the word “vintage”

Actually scratch that one, anything KOHO is automatically vintage. And awesome

-Hanzal, so hot right now, Hanzal
-Their tenuous ownership history
-Shane Doan

All these are great talking points that could be spun into a solid preview for Thursday’s game, but which one to choose? I just can’t seem to make up my mind…

Which is actually the perfect theme, because they obviously can’t either. The Winnipeg Jets Phoenix Coyotes Arizona Coyotes organization has been a model of indecisiveness ever since they first came to the city of Winnipeg Phoenix Glendale and made their home at the  America-West Arena Glendale Arena Arena Gila River Arena.

The Coyotes not only can’t seem to find a permanent name, city, owner or title sponsor for their facility, they also are apparently unsure of how to run the most integral part of an organization these days: their website.

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Their home page seemed pretty nondescript, same basic NHL-regulated layout, same cheese-ball slogan, same predictable heavily-filtered crowd shot in the background. No big deal right? Then I picked on the schedule tab.

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Boom! Scratched metal slash chalkboard theme in your face! Just a savage disregard of design consistency and continuity. The Coyotes had me hooked now, I had to see if this particular page and background was just an anomoly or an example of the most scatter-brained web design scheme of all-time. So to continue my investigation, I intrepidly went where few visitors of ever dare to go. The tickets page.

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What in tarnation is going on over there? Three pages, three completely unrelated styles. I had to see if they could go 4-for-4. On to the statistics page. (Also props to the Coyotes for being too cool to use the term “season tickets”)

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Aww, back to the home page layout. It’s actually kind of disappointing, since I was about ready to blow the whistle and call the website the most disjointed website of all HOLY HELL THERE IS A SEAN BURKE JERSEY IN THE CROWD!

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Now that, my friends, is a vintage jersey.

Sean Burke

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Knick Rickle was a former junior and college goaltender and is a current aspiring journalist and mediocre adult league goaltender. While growing up in Minneapolis, he learned how to play by attending Robb Stauber's goalie school, which unbeknownst to him at the time was the first step in becoming a Kings fan. The rest of the steps came when became probably the first person ever to move to California from Minnesota to play hockey. He currently is unemployed, holds an English degree, while contributing to #TeamTRH, so you be the judge how his hockey career turned out. You can follow KnickRickle on Twitter @KnickRickle.