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PACIFIC WAR ROOM – 12.12.14

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In an effort to keep Los Angeles Kings fans aware of the comings and goings of the other teams in the Smythe Pacific Division… we here at The Royal Half have created the Pacific War Room… a wrap-up of the past week in the Pacific from some of the best and brightest bloggers who cover Pacific Division teams. In order of the Pacific Division standings… we present the Pacific War Room for the week of December 12th, 2014!

 

ANAHEIM DUCKS
1st PLACE, 19-6-5, 43 POINTS
@EarlSleek

What an amazing week for the Ducks – only one injury to write about! :) And most of you readers should enjoy this one – everybody’s favorite winger Corey Perry took a clean hit from Keith Ballard and will miss 3-4 weeks with a knee strain. Here’s an x-ray of the injury – you can see from all the lightning bolts that it’s pretty serious.

Corey Perry Knee Injury Earl Sleek

So Anaheim did what it does best – picked up more standings points than they deserve. They beat the Wild by a single goal, the Jets by a single goal, and the Oilers by a single goal, making for a perfect week and keeping a rather odd trend alive.

The Ducks have not won a game by more than one goal since October 24, which is 49 days ago. In fact, in the 22 games since that 4-1 win, they’ve been outscored 62-55, but still have managed a really solid 12-5-5 record. That includes 10 games that have gone past regulation, with Anaheim winning half of them. Now, if this were a healthy lineup during that stretch I’d be worried – that screams unsustainability. But Anaheim is 2nd to the Blue Jackets in man-games lost to injury this season. Half the goalies, half the blueline, and some big-name wingers in Perry and Heatley have been out for pretty much all of that stretch. Anaheim’s had to play a compromised roster for a long while – 49 days sounds about right – but they haven’t been losing often.

And some veteran bodies should be returning soon. Lovejoy seems nearly ready to go, Heatley and Bryzgalov are on AHL conditioning assignments, and who knows? A two-goal win might be in Anaheim’s future.

But at least I get to post this again. :)

 

VANCOUVER CANUCKS
2nd PLACE, 18-9-2, 38 POINTS
@PetBugs13 from Canucks Army

When last we left our intrepid road warriors, they were headed north for the Canadian portion of their swing through the Leastern Conference.

So how did it turn out, you ask? Well, I guess you could say it was a Hollywood ending: after a promising first installment, the sequel was huge disappointment. After winning three of four on the American portion of the trip, your loveable Canucks only managed to pick up a single point in the three games back in Canada. And that single point came in an OT loss to Ottawa after blowing a 3-0 lead.

Talk about a Canadian Horror Story.

On a side note, blowing that lead and losing in overtime was apparently the last straw…for Ottawa. The Senators fired head coach Paul MacLean the very next morning in a move so surprising, it was actually broken by their own Twitter account:

Well, surprising to everyone else. If you ask me, getting rid of MacLean was a week late:

First appeared at The Sporting News.

Anyway, it was definitely a trip to forget for the Canucks. Heck, just ask Shawn Matthias. He can’t remember any of it.

Why? Well, literally adding insult to injury the NHL Department of Some Players’ Safety came to the conclusion that this Stephane Robidas elbow to the head was not deserving of any supplementary discipline:

I was appalled until I remembered that there are a number of extenuating circumstances under which a head shot does not deserve a fine or suspension:

image

So yeah, it all makes sense now.

The road trip wrapped up in Montreal on Tuesday, where the Canadiens honoured Jean Beliveau in a moving tribute prior to the game:

The Canucks were so moved that they decided to continue honouring his memory by giving the current Habs’ players the experience of what it must have been like to be Jean Beliveau and being able to weave through the opposition like they were standing still.

So thoughtful, those Canucks. #sigh

 

CALGARY FLAMES
3rd PLACE, 17-11-2, 36 POINTS
@BookOfLoob from Flames Nation

The Flames went 0-3 this week, experiencing not only their first three game losing streak of the season, but also the first stretch all year where they have lost in back to back games. Needless to say, the sky is falling, and the season is over, so it’s time to plan for Connor McDavid.

Now, all the plugged up, pocket protector wearing, asthma attack during a World of Warcraft cyber date (I’m sure this is a thing), skin infection having science nerds out there will tell you that this Flames regression was inevitable, using fancy letters like PDO, whatever that means, to prove outright that a team winning games on unreal goaltending and an unsustainably high shooting percentage is not a formula for success.

They have not proven spit. I’ll tell you why the Flames are starting to lose games: They just aren’t tough enough.

Flames coach Bob Hartley has done something this season that I have vocally been against all season long: he’s wussified this team (thanks for that amazing term, Mike Milbury, you are a living legend).

uh, ignore that tweet. I was hacked.

that one too.

I, hmmm….maybe I should change my password.

Oh, like you guys are so perfect.

You know what I’m saying in my heart (and not these tweets) is true.Brian McGrattan is a regular healthy scratch, even though this grizzled veteran is out there protecting his teammates on the ice from the would be aggressors of the opposition. Brandon Bollig has seen his ice time fall, and has even been a healthy scratch himself, sometimes in games where McGrattan is also out of action. This is asinine. It’s true that on every single team except the Flames, there are predators on skates, hitmen whose only goal is to stalk and kill Johnny Gaudreau. To have all world policemen on the team like those two really gives young men like Johnny Hockey the confidence to do sports stuff, thus making them important.

There’s a reason why the Flames record is 0-1 when both McGrattan and Bollig are out of the lineup.

And like, for the love of god, will somebody out there just hit somebody? Finishing your checks is the most surefire way to build character, which, when nurtured correctly, mutates into grit, which sandpapers your way into the playoffs. There’s your damn science, nerds.

I mean if y’all would just watch the games and see how many shots this team blocks, what you’ll see are men. Tough, leaden, John Wayne types who know what it takes to win. And blocking shots is what it takes to win. Getting pucks in deep. Quick line changes. The fundamentals here. If more people would fall in line, the leadershipping on this team could really do it’s job and the Flames would never lose again.

I mean, the Flames lead the league in third period goals, and have a knack for come from behind in the third period wins, and I assume it’s from all the motivational speeches from the hard nosiest players in the dressing room. It inspires them, and just how exactly can a team ever regress if they’re always scoring last minute tying goals? Bet you nerds don’t have an answer for that one.

So stay the course, Calgary, you’re doing great. Just keep finishing your checks, work harder, play the system, WORK HARDER, and then maybe work harder, and the results will come. The talent doesn’t matter when the hard work is there. Steel. Rocks. Work harder. Sandpaper. Dig. Grind. Lunchboxes. Hard hats and steel toed skates. Be, get, wear these things. And don’t let these pundits get you down. None of them ever played the game.

 

SAN JOSE SHARKS
4th PLACE, 16-11-4, 36 POINTS
@stace_ofbase from Battle of California

Another particularly great week for San Jose hockey, aside from one small thing, but fuck it, we’re back!

San Jose Sharks @ Calgary Flames, 3-2

Tweet recap of my visit to the Saddledome:

Oh man, the Saddledome is so damn weird, but so fun at the same time. The Marleau-Couture-Wingels line continues to be the best on the Sharks and sets my heart on fire. Niemi was solid. The Sharks were outplayed like crazy, but that’s what the Flames get for having their little Garth Brooks singalong. There’s a reason why they’ve lost the past 3 in a row folks, and it ain’t regression… #StopGarthBrooks2014

San Jose Sharks vs. Edmonton, 1-2

Edmonton gets their first western conference win against San Jose this season. This game occurred on December 8, 2014. The season started on October 8, 2014. I’m not a hockey doctor, but I think that means that Edmonton is really bad. The dudes over at OilersNation treated us by taking us to and from the game in a limo. Here’s exclusive footage:

Recap of the game itself:

simpsons-technical-difficulties1.0.jpg

Anyway, I’m always right.

San Jose Sharks vs. Edmonton Oilers, 2-5

It’s so weird that Kurz would write something stupid! He doesn’t have a history of that at all.

THE TEAM IS SO ENERGIZED WITH BROWN! How did they ever manage to play a game without him?? Oh damn, he got injured because he missed a check? The Sharks are fucked. I mean, Vlasic got injured too, but who cares, his presence is meaningless.

Oh yeah Sharks won and again, I am right in my analysis.

San Jose Sharks vs. Minnesota Wild, 2-1

The Wild came to town and played another standard indoor game against the Sharks. Remember when Wild fans got all mad when I said that they wouldn’t make the playoffs because they were in a playoff spot two weeks into the season? Well we are a few short of the halfway point and they are not only out of playoff position, but also WINNIPEG is ahead of them. Winnipeg is ahead of us too, but the thing is that it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it bothers the crybabies who are in the wasteland that is Minnesota. It’s beautiful.

lol, no matter how much you suck up to them, they won’t be your friend, Kevin.

Upcoming:

Sharks play the Predators this weekend and I might actually watch this game because the Predators are finally interesting to watch! Not sure if they can beat them without Mike Brown though…

 

LOS ANGELES KINGS
5th PLACE, 15-9-5, 35 POINTS
@PumperNicholl from The Royal Half

Now *runs thumbs up and down the inside of suspenders* I may not be a big city professional hockey player, but I’m inclined to believe that if a team scores one total goal against the Philadelphia Flyers and Buffalo Sabres that’s probably not a good thing.

Still, the LA Kings wanted to find out first hand what would happen in said scenario. The results were hilariously disastrous.

So things must be pretty dire for the Kings, right? Well, not exactly.

Sure, they lost two games against bottom-feeding Eastern Conference tanking teams, but they actually played pretty well all things considered.

Alright, this ain’t so bad! Bring it, Ottawa!

Ah, crap.

Even the Kings couldn’t manage to screw up against the sputtering Senators. Although it does help when Jonathan Quick does things like this:

The only appropriate theme song for Quick.

 

ARIZONA COYOTES
6th PLACE, 10-16-3, 23 POINTS
@brendanporter from Five For Howling

The Arizona Coyotes discovered something last weekend. They learned that they can’t get embarrassed more than once per week if they only play once a week.

The Coyotes had four days off before Thursday night’s game against Nashville. Boy did it show. They scored a power play goal and took a first period lead! Man, it’s been like forever since that happened!

What do you mean we have to play the rest of the game? Why would we want to do that?

Apparently the Coyotes were as interested in playing the rest of last night’s game as I was, because they conceded the next five goals and lost 5-1. So, almost like we never left for a week.

The usual fan disgruntlement only got louder with this latest loss:

Okay. That’s a fairly good jumping off point for a discussion…

…I don’t really see that happening, as noble as it might be, so let’s go back to talking about…

Wait, what?

Oh I get it, Coyotes fans are playing hard to get. If they just act like they aren’t interested, then the NHL will have to give them the #1 overall pick. Clever. I mean it worked with the Penguins, right?

Let’s see, did anything else happen to the Coyotes this week? Nope. Nothing at all. Not a thing. Not a single other thing.

Someone hold me.

 

EDMONTON OILERS
7th PLACE, 7-17-5, 19 POINTS
@JSBMjeanshorts from Oilers Nation

The Oilers were well on their way to tying an NHL record for futility, and then the Sharks had to roll into town and Shork it all up! One win in 4 weeks! WHO SAYS THIS IS ANOTHER LOST SEASON? (Everyone)

A few days before that Craig MacTavish had a press conference where he said a whole lot of nothing, took virtually none of the blame for anything that’s happened this year and looked generally flustered the whole time. Needless to say EVERYONE LOVED IT!

On a brighter note we were able to procure exclusive footage of the Oilers brass discussing what to do with future Norris candidate Justin Schultz and his lack-of-ability-to-play-defence-in-the-NHL problem.

Game number 30 for the Oilers tonight which means we’re just BARELY over a quarter of the way through the season. WHAT IDIOT MADE THE SEASON 82 GAMES LONG??

197 Days Until McDavid.

TRH WILD CARD WATCH™

Thanks to all the amazing Pacific Division Bloggers. Check back next Friday for another edition of Pacific War Room!

You can check out past editions of Pacific War Room here!

PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games… and the Police Academy movies. You should probably follow PumperNicholl on Twitter @pumpernicholl
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