LA Kings Player Power Rankings – Week 12

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Just when it looked like it was going to be a gloomy Christmas for Kings fans with the team struggling. The St. Louis Blues happened! It truly is a joyous occasion, so let’s celebrate the latest chapter in #ItWas3To0 history with some Power Rankings.

RANK PLAYER COMMENT
1 Anze Kopitar – Christmas came early with Kopi busting our for nine points in the last three games and finally taking the #1 spot in the rankings by the reindeer antlers. (Last week: 3)
2 Drew Doughty – Doughty can’t seem to quite get past Suter to take the league lead in TOI, but Drew does lead the NHL in shifts per game. I’m sure this won’t have any repercussions late in the season. (Last week: 2)
3 Jeff Carter – This mentioning how a player hasn’t scored a goal in a month really works wonders. Two weeks ago, it inspired Dwight King to score a goal. This last week, it turned into Carter coming alive again. Clearly, I am magic. (Last week: 5)
4 Tyler Toffoli – Poor kid, he loses the top spot in the rankings and the team lead in points in the same week. Maybe that explains why he was suddenly all chippy and picked up a roughing minor. He’s really acting out. (Last week: 1)
5 Jonathan Quick – Man, the offense sure has come alive lately. No need to worry about Quick slumping for most of the last two weeks. Nope. Nothing to see here. Move along. Return to your homes. (Last week: 4)
6 Marian Gaborik – With all apologies to That 70s Line, I’d say the Gaborik-Kopitar-Carter line is working out pretty well. (Last week: 8)
7 Jake Muzzin – Well, well, well. Look at Captain Corsi getting all fancy and scoring a goal this week. (Last week: 6)
8 Justin Williams – Wait, the Kings are allowed to talk contract extensions with players that aren’t young defensemen? I’m so confused. (Last week: 7)
9 Alec Martinez – Alec had a goal this week only to have it stolen from him after the fact by Carter. I know someone who won’t be getting a Christmas gift from Martinez at the team holiday party. (Last week: 11)
10 Mike Richards – If Richards doesn’t score tonight, he’ll have gone a month without scoring a goal. You can thank me next week now that he is destined to pot one against the Sharks. (Last week: 9)
11 Dustin Brown – I’m not sure what is more concerning: that the Kings had a Dustin Brown impersonator at the unveiling of the Stadium Series uniforms, or the white pants in the Stadium Series uniforms. SPOILER ALERT: It’s the white pants. (Last week: 10)
12 Trevor Lewis – In a bizarre trend, Lewis gets put on a line with actual skill players and starts picking up goals. I wonder if there is cause and effect in play there. (Last week: 14)
13 Jarret Stoll – Is Jarret’s favorite Christmas movie “The Grinch That Stoll Christmas?” (Last week: 13)
14 Tanner Pearson – Maybe I’m just seeing things, but I’m pretty sure I saw Pearson’s game on the side of a milk carton this morning. (Last week: 12)
15 Matt Greene – The nicest thing to say about Greene’s season so far is that he hasn’t missed a game yet. That is a good thing, right? (Last week: 15)
16 Brayden McNabb – McNabb is still picking pieces of Brandon McMillan out of his equipment. (Last week: 17)
17 Dwight King – Anytime you can score a freak goal and completely embarrass a Hall of Fame goaltender, you get to move up in the rankings. It is in the by-laws. (Last week: 18)
18 Martin Jones – Jones got to start his Christmas vacation early by not playing at all this week. (Last week: 16)
19 Kyle Clifford – *FART NOISE* (Last week: 19)
20 Robyn Regehr – The Kings are getting dominated by the Blues, then Regehr gets hurt and the Kings mount a stunning comeback to win 6-4. COINCIDENCE? (Last week: 20)
21 Jordan Nolan – NO-lan on the ice this week. (Last week: 21)
22 Jamie McBain – I literally can’t wait for the forthcoming McBain vs. Schultz debates. It is going to be a tense holiday season. (Last week: 22)
23 Andy Andreoff – Andreoff isn’t a used hockey player, he’s “reconditioned.” (Last week: 23)

Agree? Disagree? I don’t really care! If you still feel compelled to sound off on the rankings, go ahead and leave a comment. It’s a free world. Also, I live in Seattle, so you can all quit being such big crybabies about water falling from the sky. Have some self respect.

Garrett Wilson is a lifelong LA Kings fan who now finds himself trapped in the hockey wasteland of the Pacific Northwest. He's an Ivy League graduate, but not from one of the impressive ones. You shouldn't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry. The again, you probably wouldn't like him when he's not angry either. You should probably follow Garret Wilson on Twitter @Garrett_MWAH