The 2014 TRH Holiday Shopping Guide
There’s really no time left to shop, but if you want some good ideas for how to spend all that money you get from returning the terrible gifts your family bought you, we’ve put together the ultimate Gift Guide for you!
Obviously, you already have the Kings Onesie, because we told you about that back in October. But just in case you are still on the hunt for the perfect present … here are my Top 10 Favorite LA Kings Fans Gifts for 2014. In no particular order:
ISN’T THAT PRECIOUS?
I didn’t even realize that those Precious Moments characters knew what professional hockey was, much less that they were Kings fans! If you love adorable large-eyed humanoids who share your interest in sports, grab one of these fine collectable here.
BALLS.
Show everyone that you are a devoted fan of the most exciting sport in the world as you play the most boring one.
ANZE KOPITAR CANKLE SOCKS
In some cultures, the highest form of tribute a mere mortal can pay a god is to wear his face stretched tight over their beer swollen cankles.
BOOTS WITH THA FURRRRRRRRRR!
If your special lady is really into both the LA Kings AND Yetis – first off, congrats, sir, THAT is a unique snowflake – she is gonna LOVE YOU for getting her these boots.
ART FROM … THE FUTURE?
I can only assume this is a super, super sneak peak at a pre-production image from a film about Drew Doughty. It’s probably called something like “Eight was Enough: The Erotic Musical Biopic of Drew Doughty.” It’s like 50 Shades of Grey, Miracle and Frozen all rolled up in one and starring John Snow from the Game of Thrones. I mean, why else would a picture of John Snow in a Bauer helmet be worth $250? Get it before it’s gone here.
THE LA KINGS BUCKET HAT
Just get a regular cap. It’s never gonna look that good on you. Wanna try anyway? Suit yourself.
WINE SHOE
Were you lucky enough to score some bottles from Jim Fox’s Patine Cellars and now you’ve got no classy place to put it?
Actual description: “You enjoy the finer things in life. You love designer shoes, diamonds and of course the Los Angeles Kings.”
So for all my ladies who love shoes, diamonds, the LA Kings and don’t drink their wine from a box, this one’s for you, Doll!
A BRA FIT FOR A KING
If you prefer your two cups bedazzled, order here.
FOR THE CUTEST KINGS FAN
This makes me so happy because every time someone gives this as a gift, I know there is another child being raised correctly in loving and all encompassing Kings fandom. The children ARE the future, so make sure they get a good start! Get your cute on here.
BALLERZ ONLY
Do you have more money than sense? Perfect. They made you a jacket.
“THIS JACKET COST MORE THAN YOUR SEASON SEAT, YOU 300’s LEVEL PEASANT!”
Just one of the many colorful phrases you can shout while wearing this amazing jacket.
BONUS LIST:
DENOMINATIONAL DIFFERENCES
Sometimes we find ourselves in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share our excellent taste. This can be disappointing to say the least. Here is a person you care for, or, due to familial or legal obligations, are required to care for and yet, they are a complete idiot.
As someone with compassion and a generous nature, you will not wish to leave even these wretched creatures off your shopping list. So I have made some thoughtful recommendations for anyone on your list who roots for “The Others.”
ANAHEIM DUCKS DOOR MAT
This handsome doormat will allow the recipient to improve upon the logo with each muddy, dog-poo laden wipe of their shoe.
VANCOUVER LIL’ DIPPER DIVING CAP
BECAUSE THEY ARE A DIVING TEAM. This one looks so real, I’m not even sure I made this up.
A SHARKS CUP
I don’t know if you can get it engraved, but I would recommend: “It was 3-0”.
Just to really drive home the point that you aren’t giving them a practical home or office beverage receptacle, rather, it is intended as a crushing reminder that this silver Sharks cup may be the closest they ever get.
Of course, we all know that a TRH T-Shirt is the best Holiday Gift ever! *ouch, stop twisting my arm, Half, it really hurts!* But hopefully this TRH 2014 Holiday Gift Guide can help you find the perfect present for the loved one in your life!
