TRH RECAP 17 – Garbutt and the Benns

KINGS 0, STARS 2

 

ThrowItBack

Jonathan Quick knows exactly how the dad feels.

throwitback2

So does Drew Doughty.

To say that there was a degree of letdown in the air on Thursday would be accurate. Giving up a two goal lead to their rivals couldn’t have felt good for the fans, and doing it twice probably felt even worse. Having their coach characterize the game as something reminiscent of a game of pond hockey probably stung a lot more to the veterans than it did the kids, but to professionals it cannot ever feel good to be compared to amateurs.

IHaveNoIdeaWhatImDoing

But there was a chance for retribution! Thursday night brought the Stars to town, and they were missing something…

YoungGonchar

Don’t recognize this devastatingly attractive young man?

Gonchar

Now ya do! Gonchar was traded to Montreal a few days ago for Travis Moen, who was regularly seeing the ice in practice, exclusively, so it made sense for both clubs.

But while the Kings were gearing up to shake the loss to the Ducks, the dead eyes that represent the Benn-Benn brotherhood were sharpening their blades and putting tin foil under the gloves…

Hansons

This meant no nevermind to Drew Doughty, who thinks the Benn’s are absolutely frickin’ hilarious.

BennDoughtyStare

I’m certain that Dewey let loose a slew of bunk bed jokes throughout the game. I’ve been there, Benn’s, I’ve Benn there…

I WENT THERE

I WENT THERE

Alright, we can all see that I’m stretching here. Quite frankly, the game against the Stars was tough to watch. Not like early-2013-2014 playoffs ugly, but more in the sense that I became acutely aware that I was watching the game because I had to write a recap of it the following morning.

Something called a Garbutt opened the scoring with a shorthanded tally that sucked the life out of STAPLES…and my bedroom.

It was really more of a nuisance than anything, because I kept thinking that a Garbutt could be the scientific term for something like The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

A Garbutt in Its Natural Environment

A Garbutt in Its Natural Environment

Time out. Speaking of Creature from the Black Lagoon, who in their right name would go to the Black Lagoon in the first place? It’s not enticing sounding as The Blue Lagoon, and there’s also not shot that you’ll be seeing Brooke Shields circa 1982 (or whenever that movie was made). My point is: you can avoid all the Garbutts in the world if you DON’T GO TO A PLACE CALLED THE BLACK LAGOON.

/clears throat

Back to work. Following the Garbutt’s goal, the Stars snuck one passed Joner (probably the worst nickname on the team, btw) again. NOT SO FAST! The officials convened, got cozy, and concluded…

…that Jamie Benn is fat and gross! Just kidding (maybe). They ruled that the puck had gone into the mesh above the goal area, and that the goal didn’t count. Great, right! Wrong, Jason Spezza scored again fairly quickly.

Still, to this point, there wasn’t really a feeling of helplessness. The deficit felt very manageable, at least to fans, especially when Jarret Stoll found himself with the puck and an empty net…

At this point, it was very apparent that the Kings had no shot of coming back against Garbutt and the Benns. I finished my beer, grabbed a glass of water, and unslung my sling so that I could put on my pj’s.

Beer of the Game

Banquet Beer

As someone that hangs out with people 10-30 years older than me (my peers suck, for the most part), I drink a lot of (free) light beer. So when I sauntered into the Mission Wine and Spirits in Sherman Oaks, I was struck by the eleganace of a full-bodied (maybe!) AMERICAN beer. I had also read an article from some east-coast beer snob about how The Banquet Beer isn’t all that bad, which was GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

And man did it go down smooth.

Random Video I Found After Kari Lehtonen Ended the Game

John Siegel is a lunatic who writes about hockey, east coast bias, and content marketing. He rarely takes anything seriously, there's a good chance he's drinking right now. You can follow him on Twitter @JVNSiegel but you probably shouldn’t.