TRH RECAP 13: Guys Who Normally Don’t Score Night



I was kicked out of a bar last night watching the Kings game. And no, I wasn’t over-served, nor was I too rowdy; it was because it was trivia night. Now, I’m all for trivia, but not at this bar, which will remain nameless. You see, they have a problem with ringers. Do they win anything? I don’t think so. But when you’re three beers deep and some clown from USC is sipping his iced tea and assuring his friends that he is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that Chester A. Arthur was the 21st President of the United States, I’m likely to flip a table. (because that’s the most satisfying thing to do in situations like these).

So I was told I could play or leave. I chose the latter.

Hey! The Kings played yesterday! I have to be honest, I really just wanted to watch the game because I find Sergei Gonchar fascinating.

Yeah he is.

Yeah he is

The dude was strongly considering retirement when Dallas called him up, and asked if they could pay him a bunch of money to hang out and play a hockey game every once in awhile. He responded with an emphatic “Звучит хорошо для меня!” and played “Take the Money and Run” on repeat as strippers played Frisbee at his palatial beach house outside of Stalingrad.

I guess he played last night, but I was watching it on mute, so I really have no idea. What I DO know is that it was “Guys Who Normally Don’t Score Should Score NOW” night in Dallas, TX., and boy did the Kings take advantage of that. Trevor Lewis started the festivities by tucking an absolutely NIFTY shorthanded goal behind whoever was playing goal for the Stars, tying the game and destroying any confidence that Jordie Benn had accumulated via his manly beard.


SO to Lauren!

It really was a pretty sweet goal, and illustrates perfectly why the Kings keep paying ole’ Trevor a (very) cool $1,525,000 annually (probably in payments, now that I think about it).

The Captain picked the third period to express himself offensively, and remind us why he is the captain and gets paid a lot every year (he’s got a lot of kids to feed).

WHOOPS! That’s not The Captain…


Brown’s tally broke the tie, and opened the door for perhaps the most “Kyle Clifford” goal to date.


Seriously, that kind of goal is only befitting for players like Kyle Clifford or Jordan Nolan. His reaction was probably something like this…

Drawing parallels between Kyle Clifford and Stefan Urkel is what I do.

Drawing parallels between Kyle Clifford and Stefan Urkel is what I do.

All in all, it was a nice win for the Kings, and they really needed it. It was even nicer that the Kings were able to do so without Jordan Nolan, whose absence was definitely (no doubt about it) felt while he serves his suspension. The Kings take on the Islanders tomorrow at home, so expect to see a lot of hipsters wearing vintage NYI gear around the Southland around then.



John Siegel is a lunatic who writes about hockey, east coast bias, and content marketing. He rarely takes anything seriously, there's a good chance he's drinking right now. You can follow him on Twitter @JVNSiegel but you probably shouldn’t.