TRH GAMEDAY 17 – DALLAS STARS: The Big D-ilemma
Not all TRH Gameday posts are the same. Some are much easier to think up and write than others. For instance, a Kings-Blackhawks preview basically writes itself now thanks to the two teams’ recent battles in the playoffs. If you can’t get up for one of the intrastate matchups between the Kings and Ducks or Kings and Sharks, you probably shouldn’t be a Kings fan, or you subscribe to the whole “I don’t follow a team until they win two Stanley Cups” mantra.
But when I sat down to think about what I was going to say about LA’s upcoming tussle with the Dallas Stars, nothing really came to mind at first. Doing a true game preview and focusing on the X’s and O’s and breaking down the game last Tuesday (thanks for helping us stop the skid!) seemed boring, and frankly if you wanted that preview there’s plenty of people you’d rather hear it from than me.
This particular matchup is tricky for me because, I know by virtue of being (pre-realignment) divisional rivals, I should have an underlying hatred for the Stars just because, and the truth is I don’t. But by the same token I don’t have a soft spot for the team either, they are just kind of there.
However, being on the fence with one’s opinions on a team is no fun at all, so I’m going to try and make up my mind with a good ol’ stream-of-conciousness rant. I am just going to list out a bunch of different things about the Dallas Stars, and what I think of them, and we’ll see where we sit when it’s all through. Free-form blogging everybody, hang on tight!
-Prior to the season I had the Stars pegged as one of my dark-horse teams to be wary of in the Western Conference. They have a boatload of talent up front in Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin, Jason Spezza, Shawn Horcoff and Ales Hemsky, solid d-men in Alex Goligoski and Trevor Daley, and a guy who I have always considered as one of the more underrated goalies in the league in Kari Lehtonen.
But they are currently last in the Central and have dropped seven of their last eight. Are they bad team or a team just playing bad? I don’t want to say they are bad or else they will probably show up and embarrass the Kings like the last time I called a team bad. So the Stars are just slumping, and we should know a few things about a slump, now shouldn’t we?
-Speaking of Benn, did you know there are actually two of them? Yeah there’s a Jordie Benn, who has some kind of beard.
Just in time for Facial Hair Awareness Month!
But it wasn’t until I saw a picture of Jordie here sans-beard that I realized that Jordie and Jamie were related. Yes there is lots of evidence to that effect, with them being from the same town and having similar first names, but I am lazy and don’t pay attention.
Sure it seems obvious now
-On the topic of the Stars players, they have a guy who has been flying up the NHL’s Most-Hated Player Power Rankings™ (which needs to be a real thing by the way) in forward Antoine Roussel. Roussel made a name for himself last year with a few questionable plays, and he might have chisled that name in stone during a 30 second stretch at the end of a game Saturday night against San Jose.
The only thing Roussel didn’t do during his Herculean display of recklessness was deliver a People’s Elbow to Stalock as he was laying on the ice.
-However, Roussel’s hooliganism is counterbalanced by Dallas’ White Knight Ryan Garbutt. If you don’t remember, Garbutt is the guy who was responsible for the single greatest play of the 2013-14 season, and one of the greatest plays in NHL history. Actually it just fell short in becoming the official Play of the Year, for which I have a bone to pick with TSN.
Damn you Tomas Tatar!
Of course if you aren’t aware of what play I am talking about, sit back, grab a box of tissues and enjoy the beauty.
– The Stars used to own one of the most iconic uniforms in the NHL, back when they were a league powerhouse in the late 90’s and 00’s. Their original look was equal parts cool, creative, and cutting edge back in the day.
Don’t look at the patch Sabres fans
But now after going through two or three uninspired rebrandings, and dealing with one ill-conceived third jersey (remember the Mooterus!) they came out with their current uniforms, with a new shade of green that looks like it belongs less on a hockey sweater and more on this guy.
That’s more like it
-Argubably the best part of the entire Dallas Stars organization isn’t on its roster or in its front office, it is in their broadcast booth. I am talking about the second best Daryl in the hockey world, Stars color commentator Daryl “Razor” Reaugh.
Razor is one of the most colorful of all the color commentators, in any sport, becoming famous, nay, legendary for his bizarre analogies, innuendo-filled goal calls, use of phrases that make you scratch your head (I.E. Lizard Stick) and his all-around zaniness.
This year the man also hosts the most strangely-entertaining post game video blog in professional sports, the only place where you can simultaneously hear hard-hitting analysis from an ex-professional and bikini metaphors.
#TwoPastiesAndAThong
While my personal infatuation with Reaugh might be bordering on school-boy crush territory, if you honestly don’t laugh at some of the things that come out of his mouth (reminder-he’s a professional broadcaster), then you must have a big ol’ mess in your pants.
That’s all I got. Are you confused with everything you just read? Yeah me too.
I have done nothing to really preview tonight’s game, and I think that is ok. Because I was able to make a diahrrea-infested goose, Gumby and Corey Perry taking a stick to the groin all somewhat topically relevant. Which is enough to make me happy. And if you can’t do that, why do anything at all?
Speaking of which, Corey Perry taking a stick to the groin sounds like a perfect way to wrap this thing up. But, first, go ahead and throw this on in the background, it makes the whole thing so much better.
TRH TENDER GOALIE SWIPE TO VICTORY™
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