TRH GAMEDAY 14: NEW YORK ISLANDERS – HIP FLEXOR
Road trip? What road trip? Let me see…Last thing I remember was watching the Kings set a new home stand record, and making it rain goals against Columbus. Then it was time to get ready for another legendary Halloween/Dia De Los Muertos/Comikaze weekend (It RULED, BTW). I think I may have a faint recollection of some Fireball-induced nightmares in which my beloved Kings lost a bunch of games in a row but I’m pretty sure that was just a side effect of the anti-freeze because there is NO WAY that could have happened in real life.
So, road trip? Nope. Doesn’t ring a bell.
Tonight they face the New York Islanders who, after many bleak years, seem to be showing some real promise. You may have heard that they will be moving from the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Long Island to the Barclays Center in Brooklyn next year, which, if you didn’t know, is less than 3 miles away from the White Hot Center of the Hipster universe: Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Or, W’burg.
Because sometimes words are just too long.
But dealing with a Hipster fan base is a funny thing. Knowing that by the time the team moves in next year, and god-forbid they have any continued success this year, the Islanders may be ‘too mainstream’ to be considered relevant, the marketing strategy has been adjusted accordingly. Time is of the essence, so the team has already started to entice early adopters and create gear that is a better fit with the meticulously random hipster aesthetic. We have a sneak preview of some of the new items here: 
The curtains match the…legs?
Headwraps are where it’s at, kids.
Get it while you can!
“Hey Girl, my Matryoshka doll tat lets you know I have many little versions of me inside myself.
Wait. I just mean…I’m really complex, babe. Also don’t I look like that guy in Drive?
Right? I’m crushing it in this jacket right now.”
Reclaiming the “Fisherman logo” is a key component to their strategy. The fact that most hockey fans acknowledge this as one of the worst logos in the history of the sport (another runner up), will be the very thing that endears it to this group who exist on a diet rich in pretension and irony.
When it’s cold enough for a sweatshirt but NOT for the rest of the skirt.
Also, the parking lot of Barclays Center will be retrofitted to receive an influx of bike parking.
Brace yourself, the hipsters are coming.
In addition to the new wearables, the Islanders PR team have done some fine work cultivating “hipster cred” to make sure the players seem relatable to their new fans.
Brock Nelson with the hipster credo.
Okposo, never more endearing than when he rocks a comfy flannel.
This is actually JUST A PICTURE OF JOHNNY BOYCHUCK from his Bruins days.
No embellishment necessary.
The team will further endear themselves with the launch of their “Islanders LOCKER ROOM STEW” which is a briny punch to the face made from locally sourced organic navy beans, kale and bacon that comes served in…what else!? A Mason jar! It’s best enjoyed with a bunch of Pabst Blue Ribbon that you bought on a credit card your parents pay off for you.
John Tavares, Captain of the Team and THE FACE of Locker Room Stew.
But the real star will be Cal Clutterbuck, Hipster God of the NHL.
W’Burg is gonna love you, son.
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