TRH GAMEDAY 10: PITTSBURGH PENGUINS – Making a Pitts Stop

Today our beloved Kings face the preternatural hockey prowess of one Mr. Sidney Crosby.

SidneyCrobbelpot

Sidney Crobblepot, AKA “The Penguin”.
This image is the most social relevance DC Comics will experience this week.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that currently there is no more celebrated, adored or aggressively lauded player in all the game than “Sid the Kid”. He’s been pure excellence since he was 13 years old. For many, that fact inspires respect, reverence and awe.

Apparently the key training component to being a hockey wünderkind is being
gently re-moistened with a spray bottle.
Write that down, Tanner Pearson.

But for me, inveterate contrarian that I am, all that success only makes him seem rather…boooooo-rrring.  Further complicating any objective courtesy I may give him is the fact that I am American and man, do we have a long, stupid love affair with underdogs. There are figuratively whole sections of my DNA devoted to being reviled by the amount of WIN in Sidney Crosby.

underdog

  Not THIS Underdog specifically, but he IS a delight.

We get it, we get it: he’s the BESTEST. But c’mon–it’s a bit ridiculous the amount of MERCH he inspires: he has Christmas Ornaments,  Halloween Costumes, a Jig-saw Puzzle and action figures.

Ruler-of-the-Penguins

Typically, these figures are worth way less out of the box.

There IS another player on the Penguins and his name is Evgeni Malkin. He’s also “really good” and they also “pay a lot of money” for him, so now they “can’t afford anyone else”. What type of team did the fine folks in charge of Pittsburgh think they were building?  Pairs tennis? 2-man Bobsled?  You need more than two, dude. If you need quick refresh on what a hockey team looks like, please see here or here.

sid-the-kid

Malkin and Sid THE KID.

Wait, do you know what that image is a reference to?

OMG. If you said “NO!? Is it from “Newsie’s”? Please go here. If you live in this city, I must implore you to know its history and the everloving magic we continue to bring to the other 49 states. All those East Coast teams with their Liberty Bells and Historical Significance think they’re soooo great but YOUR city is amazing and it’s 99% of the reason this country got through the damned Depression. Know that. Be proud of that. Also, Malkin has a pretty wicked John C. Reilly thing going, right?

evgeni-john

I mean LOOK AT THAT! They could be Step-Brothers.

What was I talking about again? Oh that’s right. We’re playing Pittsburgh.

Now, don’t freak out. I value honesty in our relationship, so I have to tell you that the Penguins scored EIGHT goals on Tuesday. It was the same day that thing happened with the OT goal, so maybe you were pre-ocupado. But it’s really true. Eight goals. But don’t worry about that, because:  That 70’s Line!

If they just each get a hat trick, we’ll be solid.

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Reactions of Penguins players watching tape of That 70’s Line.

And Kings fans will get to spend some time with a new friend,  David Van der Gulik.

Van der Gulik? No, can’t say I recall him at all…

 

So sneak out of work early today and get ready for some great hockey!

 

TRH TENDER GOALIE SWIPE TO VICTORY™

Jones-PIT-matchup

 

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LA Queen of Meme is the self-appointed Queen of Meme. Yeah, yeah, you didn't get to vote on it, but relax, this is a benevolent dictatorship. She's a recent (but pre-Stanley Cup) Kings fan, an LA native and a 12th level PhotoShop sorceress (but spelling and tpyos continue to keep her humble). Likes: Shiny things, giveaway nights, whiskey. Dislikes: Other people. Especially the ones who can't take a joke. You can follow LA Queen of Meme on Twitter @LAQueenOfMeme.