Teemu’s Texting Turmoil

Watch the LA Kings win the Stanley Cup?


Hear that Marian Gaborik signed a cap-friendly contract to stay with the Kings?


Eat a burger named after Anze Kopitar?


See an online war develop after a post about the Kings players’ dogs?


It’s been a mighty fine summer for #TeamTRH and Kings fans everywhere. So it would have been mighty greedy to want anything else spectacular to happen before the start of the 2014-15 season.

But somehow the good news just keeps on coming.

And it couldn’t have gotten much better than seeing an excerpt from Teemu Selanne’s upcoming biography:

Now, as you know, we here at The Royal Half pride ourselves on digging deeper into stories and uncovering the entire truth. That’s why I took it upon myself to find out exactly what Selanne texted to his wife and friends during the Anaheim Ducks implosion during Game 7.

When I got a hold of the screenshots, I just couldn’t believe my eyes…

First, there was Selanne’s wife of 18 years who hit Teemu square in the face with the truth:


The Finnish Flash also reached out to a longtime friend and former teammate for some words of encouragement:


He thought someone who’d dealt with his coach could provide some insight:

Teemu Text Game 7 - Ovechkin-imp

Naturally, Selanne messaged his fellow countryman:


He even texted his captain:


It was a fitting end to a rough terrible hilarious trying season for the future Hall of Famer. And now, Kings fans everywhere are applauding Selanne’s candor on his way out.


PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games… and the Police Academy movies. You should probably follow PumperNicholl on Twitter @pumpernicholl