FREEWAY FARCE: Playoffs Week 5

FreewayFarce900

 

Playoffs Week 5 (May 12 – May 18)

Los Angeles Kings (Def. ANA 4-3, Trailing CHI 1-0)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the LA Kings:

haters

‘sup

Lucky Seven:

Ugh, so impatient.

Far be it from me to try and interfere with the media’s love affair with Justin Williams, but it is distracting us from what is really important … how great the rest of the Kings are in game sevens.

Honda Center Takeover :

Look, the Ducks didn’t really give the fans a lot to cheer about. We did, however, find the one Ducks fan who seemed to actually have a pulse during game seven.

The Return of Alex Martinez:

This isn’t a new thing for NBC’s announcers this postseason:

But here is the latest:

NBC is beyond pretending like they care about anybody in the Western Conference*

*Does not apply to Chicago

 

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (#BookendSwept by LA)

GIF(s) That Best Represents the Past Week for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim:Emma-Stone
Stephen-Colbert
george michael
How-I-Met-Your-Mother1
christina aguilera

LOL

The Wrath of the Ducks Digital Media Department:

If the Ducks’ Director of Publications and New Media (that sounds like a fake title, right?) gets that bent out of shape over an amusing fake tweet, I wonder how he reacted when some Kings fans got a hold of the programs the Ducks pre-printed for game one of the WCF?

Not well, it turns out.

Yeah, when were those jerks ever classy?

Well maybe this guy just gets a little overly emotional. I can’t imagine this is an organization-wide issue. To find out, we should take a look at how the Ducks’ Social Media Producer (again, can that possibly be a real position title?) reacted to one of Pumpernicholl‘s game recaps. You know, the recaps he puts together for every game, showcasing the worst fans (OF EITHER TEAM) and their ridiculous behavior on Twitter.

Seriously, it may be time for the Ducks’ Digital Media department to review their policies and procedures.

Well if they did that, how in the world would they be able to use their platform to draw attention to themselves rather than the team?

Tee-MOVING ON:

*FART NOISE*

The Los Angeles Kings ended Teemu Selanne’s career. Never forget that, and never stop reminding Ducks fans of that fact.

Worst of the Worst of @DucksFanZone:

This is what we call dramatic irony.

If you are experienced with DFZ, you should know that he has a bit of a fascination with the “trap” and teams like the Kings using it to defend leads against the Ducks.

DFZ cleary has a soft spot for Teemu, but now that the Ducks are out, it sounds like he’ll be pulling for his favorite player’s former team.

#ThankYouSaku #ForPlayingSoPoorlyThatPeopleForgotHowBadTeemuWasThisYear

 

SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Worst Opposing Tweeter*:

Kings: @BuckyHermit

Can anybody help? No idea with that one.

I’m more confused now.

Noticing a trend.

For those who can’t wait until next season’s banner raising.

RT’d by Bucky … RTs do not equal endorsements (hopefully … but they probably do)

That was funnier before you stole it from a t-shirt you saw.

Ducks: Surly and Scribe

ewww

Winner: @Hamertimeduck

So we have ignored this guy for the duration of the series because he is just that awful. He’s not trying to be funny, he’s not trying to be clever(or at least I hope he isn’t trying to be either of those things), he’s just trying to get attention. Since the series is over though, this seemed like a good time to sum him up in one tweet:

I’m sure Ducks’ New Digital Media Producer(or whatever) finds @Hamertimeduck’s behavior offensive as well.

Or they are super buddy-buddy on Twitter?

Winner: Surly and Scribe

No seriously, you should try reading some of their stuff.

 

Second Round, War of Words:

Kings: Darryl Sutter, via LA Kings Insider

On Willie Mitchell’s performance in his return: 
He was fine.

Welcome back, Willie

Ducks: Teemu Selanne via LA Kings Insider

Selanne, on whether he is rooting for Los Angeles through the rest of the playoffs:
Absolutely. Our team and their team are almost identical, and obviously when they beat us, of course, we hope they’re going to go all the way. That would maybe feel a little better to see that they were going to win it all. They have a chance. They have a great organization and a great team right now. They deserve this. Unbelievable, they came back against Sharks and then again here. You have to give a lot of credit to those guys.

Teemu Selanne, forever a Kings fan.

Winner: Anze Kopitar via LA Kings Insider

On Justin Williams’ Game 7 performance:
Yeah, I don’t know how he does it. I don’t know if he eats anything different before the game. I don’t know. [Reporter: Maybe you’ll have what he’s having?] No, I’m just going to keep having what I’m having. That’s all right. You know, he’s a leader on the team, and I guess so and so years ago, Dean got him for a reason, and it’s been definitely paying off.

Big ups to Deano.

Third Round, Video Highlight of the Week:

Kings: 

And John Gibson continues to be Pwned by Trevor Lewis.

Ducks: 

This’ll teach ya to make impulsive decisions, Teemu.

Winner: HAMMOND FOREVER, ROSEN NEVER!!!

WINNER OF THE WEEK: The look on this guy’s face

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.