Tonight, the Kings almost certainly had things they would have rather done than Explore Alberta – such as preparing for the San Jose Sharks and their looming playoff series. Instead, they Saddled up onto a late-season Trojan horse of a game that ended up going in Calgary’s favor, after a mercifully brief shootout that ended with Mike Richards and I falling asleep at the exact same moment:

It’s obvious from tonight’s game that this is not the same Kings team we can expect to start Game 1. No penalties were called in the entire game! Guys are resting, players are banged up… although someone clearly forgot to tell Gaborik and Kopitar that it’s okay to stop trying for another few days.

One thing’s for sure — due to this game’s irrelevance and significant Calgary Quotient, this was a snoozer for the ages. I mean, sure, there were goals, but I felt like I was watching public access TV after being allowed to drink nothing but decaf Samba for a month.

It was painful.

It was… relaxing?

It was confusing.

Thankfully, this irrelevant late-season air biscuit did produce one particular item of interest… I give you…





Dwight King Face vs Flames - The Royal Half

I love that headline because it’s exquisitely passive-aggressive against the Flames.

I feel like something’s grammatically wrong here.
Last time I “passed the flames” it was from those damned delicious street sausages outside Staples Center.

Almost there, Kings fans.

Your partner in hockey limbo,

-King Tufficult (@KingTufficult)

As a child, King Tufficult liked to hang out at Iceoplex to watch his dad’s summer skating group that included many gloriously mulleted individuals. Some of the people attached to those mullets played for the early 90′s LA Kings. It was destiny. Since then, King Tufficult is best known for extensively traveling in Europe during the Cup Finals and writing “The Post” after Game 6 of the 2014 WCF. If you're a glutton for punishment, you can follow King Tufficult on Twitter @KingTufficult.