Plenty of things have happened in the world since 2003, the last time the Kings won a game in Pittsburgh. Youtube was created (2005). Gmail became available for the general public (2007). The trapezoid was placed on the ice behind the net (2005). The debut of the iPhone (2007).
Yes, it’s been a while.
This momentous win came in equally spectacular fashion, as the Kings killed off 7 of 7 penalties on route to their 5th win in a row, and their 8th straight on the road. With this win, LA also kept the Penguins from clinching anything other than their buttcheeks, which was a nice added benefit.
But we need to stop for a moment to recognize one member of the Kings in particular.
Alec Martinez: 7G, 4A in his last 14 games.
Alec Martinez has more goals than Drew Doughty; he has no problem scoring on his best friend Jeff Zatkoff; and he takes to Twitter to solve one of the more pressing questions of our time:
Team debate: if milk chocolate is out of the question, would u rather eat dark choc or white. Can only pick 1. RT 4 dark, fav 4 white. Go.
— Alec Martinez (@amartinez_27) March 28, 2014
Is there anything Marty can’t do?
Silver Spooning.
It’s about time we shine the spotlight on a player who has previously been unfairly chained to Sutter’s doghouse. Let’s check out…
Literally where was Darryl Sutter hiding Alec Martinez all season long?
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) March 28, 2014
As i've been trying to say for 3 years, Alec Martinez is a top 4 defenseman in the NHL @amartinez_27 #marti27 #keepshooting
— Rob McPherson (@RobSwift424) March 22, 2014
@theroyalhalf so, Alec Martinez is now 2 for 2 in games where he had dinner with the opposing goaltender the night before.
— Casey Fox (@caseyfox) March 28, 2014
You gotta respect a player that goes to the box without a bitchy little protest (e.g. Alec Martinez of the @LAKings)
— Nick D (@ndesh571) March 28, 2014
Link to the story about #Pens @jeffzatkoff running up @amartinez_27 's credit card http://t.co/rZXnSVoccc
— The Mayor John Hoven (@mayorNHL) March 28, 2014
Naming my first born Alec Martinez Lewis. #LAKings
— Jason Lewis (@SirJDL) March 28, 2014
Who is sexier than Alec Martinez scoring goals??? #LAKings
— Sandra (@73safi) March 28, 2014
Somewhere, Jeff Carter sheds exactly one tear.
Pinche Alec Martinez con un golazo!!! #VivaMartinez
— Steven Castaneda (@squba_steve271) March 28, 2014
@amartinez_27 olive juice you.
— Paul (@Sterling_Pooper) March 28, 2014
Did Alec Martinez just fucking score again
— Joshva (@SoundFlyer14) March 28, 2014
Your players are the dirtiest toothless piece of shits I have ever seen. FUCK YOU! @LAKings
— M.L.A. (@RakastavaTalvi) March 28, 2014
If the @penguins win this game it will be a giant fuck you to the @LAKings and the refs of this game… #Pens #fingerscrossed #bullshitcall
— Sarah Smith (@SarahRebekahxo) March 28, 2014
Love how Game Center updates me on the penguins…like a give a fuck.
— Amanda Barros ✌ (@AmandaNBarros) March 28, 2014
Only Pens fans could possibly think they're getting screwed in a game where power plays are 7-3 in their favor
— Nick Chapin (@dightkwing) March 28, 2014
Steve Kozari… the only hockey-related troll more masterful than The Half himself.
"the puck was in before the net came off….BUT I'M AFRAID I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS" #badnewsref
— John Carroll (@toshanshuinLA) March 28, 2014
Steve Kozari, you rule …………#but
— Sky (@SkyFelixMusic) March 28, 2014
You had me at BUT Kozari #LAKings
— Sheng Peng (@Sheng_Peng) March 28, 2014
Best troll of all time. Wow. Someone get that ref a medal.
— Adam Gushansky (@amgushansky) March 28, 2014
Until next time, Kings fans.
@theroyalhalf dick
— Adam C (@TPBadam) March 28, 2014
Tufficult out.
-King Tufficult (@KingTufficult)