Given that our Kings were playing their third game in essentially three and a half days – and an afternoon game at that – I was prepared to once again suffer the pitiable fate of recapping a fugly, heartbreaking Kings loss. I figured that while my illustrious colleagues at The Royal Half were forever blessed with recapping games like the wild six goal comeback in Denver, I would be eternally cursed to only conduct a post-mortem on games where a GIF of Dwight King sneezing was the most exciting thing to happen.
But not this time.
This time, I’m fortunate to be able to share with you all one of the most exciting events in recent LA Kings history.
I’m referring of course to the on-air segment where Patrick O’Neal and Alex Curry sung the praises of The Royal Half.
Of course, that’s not to say that some wonderful Dwight King-flavored GIFs didn’t surface from this game – they certainly did, such as this anti-commercial for Lemonheads:
Can anyone photoshop King’s face onto the lemon as it flashes past?
With all the negativity I’ve had to deal with after recapping Kings fans’ vitriolic reactions to all those losses before the Olympic break, it’s time to shine the spotlight on some positive achievements (mostly). With that being said, and in the spirit of the Oscars taking place tonight in LA, I’m pleased to bring you a segment entitled…
It’s time to recognize some Kings for their good work on the ice yesterday by presenting them with a digital picture of a golden spatula. And you thought an Olympic medal was an honor…
Mike Richards scored only his second goal since (American) Thanksgiving, leading to this extra-humble reaction to potting one of his trademark sharp-angle goals that put the Kings ahead 1-0. I’ve always maintained that Richards plays best when his ice time is carefully managed and when he’s fairly well-rested. It’s not particularly surprising to me, then, that he’s finding his game again after spending a couple of weeks doing this:
Photo credit: @lindsamac
All in all, I understand why Rick had such an understated reaction to his goal, but I wish he wouldn’t be so hard on himself. He’s one of the most important cogs in the Kings’ machine, and there are enough players with similar scoring droughts to suggest that the team’s system/coaching are more to “blame” than the players themselves. Cheer up, Mike: life is good!
Ah yes, the look of someone who desperately does not want to become Ben Scrivens’ new next-door neighbor. It’s been said before, but can someone please explain to me how Martinez ended up in Sutter’s doghouse so firmly and permanently? He’s been one of our best puck-moving D every time he’s gotten the chance to do something other than sample the hors d’oeuvres in the press box. His celebration gives us a glimpse into his (totally unfounded) hope that by scoring a goal, Sutter will look to dress him more often. Poor Martinez. I’m sure you’ll finally be taken off your leash once Lombardi deals you somewhere in the Canadian tundra.
And the nominees are…
Regher again too much of an offensive powerhouse. Assists on the Kings goal and then had his "hands" all over the Canes goal seconds later.
— Matt Bohen (@Boski93) March 1, 2014
Lol. Canes game. I’ll wait until the Kings play an actual NHL team at home.
— Romy (@bellaromy) February 24, 2014
An easy way to identify Dwight King on the ice is to look for the man skating like he is about to leap on unsuspecting prey
— Nick Chapin (@dightkwing) March 1, 2014
LINING UP ON THE WING GOTTA STANLEY CUP RING THE NAME YOU KNOW IS DWIGHT KIII-IIING
— Ryan Dunn (@SharksGotMyLeg) March 1, 2014
Don’t forget, LA Kings fans. We 1st learned of Jarret Stoll’s love of yoga on Kings Weekly!!! https://t.co/BWxUKQ3KeB http://t.co/NTiV2EkqUC
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) March 1, 2014
The Kings haven’t lost in a month. HOW IS THIS NOT A BIGGER STORY?!?!
— Jack Wilson (@JACKaWILSON) March 1, 2014
HARRISON FORD AT THE LA KINGS GAME pic.twitter.com/QxYTq4XmMb
— amalito (@franknteens) March 2, 2014
@LAKings I cri errytiem
— Fuckboii (@CtotheFoo) March 2, 2014
I'm gonna be an asshole and wear my LA kings long sleeve at the caps game
— Carlos Alcantara (@Carlooos_uhhuh) March 2, 2014
Do it doggy style in my LA kings sweater
— Joey Hyde (@97Hyde) March 2, 2014
@wilw @LAKings bite me and goodbye
— Chuck Lawson (@bearcatchuck) March 2, 2014
LINING UP ON THE WING GOTTA STANLEY CUP RING THE NAME YOU KNOW IS DWIGHT KIII-IIING
— Ryan Dunn (@SharksGotMyLeg) March 1, 2014
You should follow @SharksGotMyLeg immediately
Thanks for tuning in to our humble awards ceremony, and be sure to follow all of Team TRH for the latest (mostly) funny insights on all the latest LA Kings happenings.
Until next time,
#OscarMoller https://t.co/EUo7TqB88V
— Flubber McGee (@FlubberMcGee) February 28, 2014
Tufficult out.
-King Tufficult (@KingTufficult)