In an effort to keep Los Angeles Kings fans aware of the comings and goings of the other teams in the Smythe Pacific Division… we here at The Royal Half have created the Pacific War Room… a wrap-up of the past week in the Pacific from some of the best and brightest bloggers who cover Pacific Division teams. In order of current Pacific Division standings… we present Pacific War Room for the week of January 17th, 2014.
Before this week, the Ducks had a 7-0 record against the Coyotes, Red Wings, and Canucks, outscoring them 26-14. Now it’s up to 10-0, outscoring them 41-18.
Yup, three more wins for Anaheim – losses are so 2013.
And sure, I could talk about Jonas Hiller’s 14 consecutive win streak (tied for 2nd best win streak in NHL history), or Anaheim’s 20-0-2 home record to start the season (4th time that’s been done in 40 seasons), or the Ducks’ ridiculous 18-wins-in-19-games run (2nd time that’s ever been done), but instead of all that, let’s focus on one of our recently-struggling divisional-buddy teams below, the highlight game of Anaheim’s week (and possibly entire existence): those poor Vancouver Canucks.
In case you missed it, Anaheim trounced the now-goony Canucks NINE to one Wednesday night. The Ducks ended up scoring SIX power play goals against the best penalty-killing team in the league, which is:
FIFTEEN Ducks ended up on the good end of the scoresheet that night, too. (A quick PANCAKE WATCH! Dustin Penner did score a goal and an assist this week, but he hilariously was one of only three pointless Ducks skaters at the end of the Vancouver rout.)
The Canucks are now 1-7-3 against California teams, outscored 40-16. In 8 of those 11 games they’ve been held to 1 goal or less. In those games, Canucks goalies have combined for a 3.34 GAA and an .895 save percentage; California goalies have combined for a 1.44 GAA and a .951 save percentage.
As a result, Darren Archibald is the only Canuck skater who is a plus player against California teams this season (+1). Twelve Canucks skaters are -5 or worse, and four are -10 or worse. In fact, here’s the full list of Canucks scorers in their 11 games thus far against the Sharks, Kings, and Ducks. Note that nobody has more than two goals.
Conversely, in 3 games played against the Canucks, both Corey Perry and Nick Bonino have scored four goals each. :)
Which is all just a long lead-in to this week’s based-on-a-movie-I-never-saw cartoon. Eh, whatever. I figure it’s good to get in some batting practice before the outdoor game next weekend. (Next weekend?! Oh man – right around the corner!)
Since becoming the only team to hand the Ducks a regulation loss since Thanksgiving on December 29th, the Sharks had perfectly alternated wins and losses, stuck in a spiral of mediocrity befitting a team with several key injuries up front. That was until last night, when they played the Florida Panthers two days after beating the Washington Capitals in a shootout. Nothing like a game in South Florida to jumpstart your first winning streak of the calendar year.
Sharks-Panthers game in South Florida tonight. #NHL (credit @calikate86) pic.twitter.com/HpFhU0XEwg
— Empty Seats Galore (@EmptySeatsPics) January 17, 2014
Joe Pavelski, Matt Nieto and Joe Thornton beat Tim Thomas like a tax evasion charge and the Sharks notched consecutive victories for the first time in three weeks. With Logan Couture, Tomas Hertl, Marty Havlat and Raffi Torres still confined to the infirmary, they’ve been a relatively goal-starved team of late but Antti Niemi rediscovering his form and Alex Stalock pitching a shutout against the Panthers has helped keep the Sharks competitive despite that. The real test for the Sharks, though, comes on Monday when they host the fearsome Calg…hahaha, I couldn’t finish that sentence.
I guess we should have all seen the writing on the wall when this was the best GIF to come out of the LA Kings disappointing 3-1 loss to the Detroit Red Wings last Saturday night.
In what will be known as the last game of the Ben Scrivens Era, the LA Kings notched a moral (and an actual victory) over the Vancouver Canucks.
The LA Kings beat the Vancouver Canucks? You don’t say!
Well at least those Vancouver Canucks fans worked hard to not change anyone’s perception of truly how awful they are.
Jordan Nolan @LaKings you drunkard fuck hahahaha #Pussy #AnotherTooToo #Faggot
— Sam (@SunshineSammich) January 14, 2014
Haven’t the Native Canadians already suffered enough tragedy in their lifetime?
The only thing better than a victory over the sorry Vancouver Canucks franchise is a victory over the sorrier St. Louis Blues franchise. (FYI, saying the Blues are a sorrier franchise than the Canucks is saying A LOT)
Boy, I wonder when the LA Kings will release a poster to celebrate this goal!
Never change, St. Louis Blues. Never, ever change.
St. Louis Blues Stanley Cup Poster!
Ok, you just read a recap of the Canucks-Kings games up there ^^^^^^, so no point me going over it again. Speaking of no points, that’s pretty much what the Canucks’ “moral victory” was worth on Monday night:
I haven’t checked the rule book, but I sure hope moral victories are the third tie breaker after regulation and overtime wins…
The it was on to Anaheim. If you want a recap of that, go back up to the top of the page. I’m pretty sure it was well covered up there.
If you want the Vancouver take, well, why not let the official Canucks twitter account tell the story:
GAME ON! #Canucks
— Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
2-0 ducks — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
HERE WE GO! #Canucks #2ndperiod #comeback — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
ducks score — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
4-0 ducks — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
Getting epicer with each goal against! RT @vickyycath: .@VanCanucks how’s that “epic,” comeback coming along? — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
5-0 ducks — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
6-0 ducks — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
If we start a petition to avoid playing in California forever, will you sign it? — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
ONE DOWN, LIKE NINE TO GO! — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
[It was only 6-1 at the time. But given the tendency to give up late leads, probably good to build a cushion as part of this epic comeback, I guess. Either way, the Canucks’ twitter account was not only hilarious but rather prescient on this night. Let’s continue with the hilarity as it ensued.]
ducks score — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
Okay. I’m out. — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
Ducks get a 7-minute power play out of that? And it’s 5-on-3 Anaheim? SERENITY NOW. SERENITY NOW. — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
THIS JUST IN: #Canucks will be down a man forever. — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
ducks score. that will be all we tweet from now on. — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
8-1 Anaheim. 5 minutes to play. #Canucks sure are making this comeback interesting… — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
Jason Garrison to the penalty box, which is now just the #Canucks bench. Only Torts is on the actual bench. #lonely — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
ducks score – but there’s only 37.2 seconds left. good luck getting 10. — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
#Canucks lose to the Ducks. No score needed. Wasn’t pretty. On to the next one. — Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 16, 2014
If you thought that one wasn’t pretty…
…go ahead and read the recap of the next game in the next section down. It is still down, right? I mean, the Coyotes haven’t actually caught the Canucks yet, RIGHT??!
Phew.
Anyway. Those are the recaps. If you want a preview of the Canucks next game, on Saturday vs. the Flames, look a little bit farther down (this one I’m sure of). I’m sure the Loobster has you covered.
In the past ten games, the Phoenix Coyotes are a paltry 3-6-1. This stretch of mediocrity is prompting many Coyotes fans to engage in well thought out discussions regarding the long-term outlook of the team in a calm, collected way. Like this:
I may have paraphrased a bit.
Yes, the Coyotes’ continued inability to keep pucks out of their own net has propelled them downward in the standings and out of the two Wild Card spots, which would be bigger news if the Coyotes had higher expectations for this season. Or if Phoenix played in a market where the media pays attention to hockey, like Los Angeles.
Now, this may come as a surprise to many, but hockey fans are an emotional bunch. And when things are going poorly, the tendency is to find someone to blame. So let’s review the culprits in the Phoenix Coyotes’ season struggles, as according to Coyotes fans.
Keith Yandle
So Keith Yandle did not make the Olympic roster for the United States, apparently because David Poile trusts Brian Burke’s opinion on hockey talent more than Dean Lombardi.
(Pictured: the last team Brian Burke served as general manager of)
Phoenix fans rose to Yandle’s defense almost immediately:
@FrankTieri I’m pissed that Keith Yandle didn’t make the team.
— Bill Costello (@Bill_CostelloAZ) January 8, 2014
Keith Yandle shows in addition to great offensive skills he’s a great team player. F*ck you Brian Burke. #Coyotes — Michael (@kash2112) January 3, 2014
It’s hard to be a #Coyotes fan. The butt goal. No Keith Yandle in the Olympics… Brb, crying — Denver Jacob Houston (@Denver_Houston) January 5, 2014
(The struggle is real)
Less than one week later…
Yandle sucks — kelley robb (@kelleyrobb) January 5, 2014
keith yandle.. youre killing me. minus9in3 — Ryan Mew (@theRealRmew) January 14, 2014
So Keith Yandle is now currently trending in Phoenix… GEE!! WONDER WHAT THAT’S ALL ABOUT????? — TheLegend (@TheLegend_AZ) January 10, 2014
Even Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian think Phoenix fans have commitment issues.
Mike Smith
Smitty has awkwardly backed his way into all of our hearts thanks to #BUTTGOAL, but somehow Phoenix fans aren’t feeling the love:
Coyotes Mike Smith distraught over his recent play jumped in front of a city train. No worries it went through his legs. #coyoteshockey — ari silvasti (@silvasti66) January 10, 2014
Fucking coyotes falling apart… More so Mike Smith… Wtf man… Suck it up and let Greis play… It was still a great game but jeez! — Spencer Crawford (@ScubaSpence13) January 5, 2014
— J0e (@RoccoJ95) January 14, 2014
Mark Visentin has never played an NHL game and has a .912 SV% in AHL Portland. But apparently he is the one who will save the Coyotes season.
Wait, Mike Smith shut out the Vancouver Canucks?
YES!! Now that’s #Coyotes hockey!! :-) Auuwooooo!! 1-0 shutout vs Canucks. Yay, Mike Smith our G!! Yay, our D!!
— Jenise Cook (@Jenise__) January 17, 2014
Fantastic @phoenixcoyotes superhero Mike Smith. Get that guy a cape!!!! — Stephen Lee (@StephenLeeUSA) January 17, 2014
Let’s be real here if the opportunity presented itself I would marry Mike Smith in a heartbeat. #41ismyboyy — Sarah horst (@sarahhorst11) January 17, 2014
Sigh…
Statistics
The Coyotes are simply not up to par in the statistical categories that matter most, like…
@UnofficialCarl @jordanellel @azc_mclellan Corsi shmorsi, he’s been playing better than others behind him. Klesla starting to pick it up tho — Tim Greene (@CoyotesAvs12) January 9, 2014
Shmorsi…
@brendanporter can’t argue with stats but honestly didn’t pass the eye test in my opinion. — Kevin Feltner (@AZCoyoteKev) January 3, 2014
the eyeball test, and…
@phoenixcoyotes why does back of your sweater flap around more than anyone else’s as you zoom down the ice? #AskMoss
— Coyote22 (@_Coyotes22) January 10, 2014
Um, pass?
At its core, the Coyotes are a team that is just mediocre. Their corsi percentage is barely over 50%, while their fenwick is 49.6%. They rank in the bottom ten in goals against and the bottom ten in penalty kill percentage. Their even-strength offense has been good enough to offset these liabilities, but not good enough to keep pace with some of the better teams in the league.
But every Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever has its antidote (too soon, Shane Doan?). For the Coyotes, that comes in the form of a week of games against the Maple Leafs, Flames, and Oilers. So either Phoenix will post a respectable record and get back on track, or the Coyotes will get blown out by Toronto and save Randy Carlyle’s job.
Yeah, probably the latter. That way all hockey fans can revel in our collective misery.
Oh, and the Coyotes are hosting a concert featuring Bachman & Turner, Loverboy, and Trooper named CanadaFest in March.
(This is a real thing. Seriously).
Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
Oh my goodness, there are things to talk about this week. Borderline trivial, almost sad things to focus on as positives for most teams, but when you’re the Calgary Flames, you take what you can get.
The big news is that they scored goals! Not a lot of them, but some! 6 goals in 4 games even, which only like…Alex Ovechkin puts up more than that in a week, so suck on that, Pacific Division!
That felt good.
Did the Flames win a lot this week?
Uh…
Well they championed one out of four contests this week. .250 winning %. NOT TOO BAD. The game they did win, I can tell you, was a beaut against the Carolina Hurricanes, who are a team who only sit a middling distance out of a playoff spot in the (some would say SIGNIFICANTLY) weaker Eastern Conference (I’m one of the some who would say that), but you know what? There was a real reversal of fortune, as this time around it was your Calgary Flames PREVENTING the other team from scoring.
My reaction:
Yup, backed by some strong play by Karri Ramo, who has been statistically awful but I love him anyway, the Flames took a 2-0 win out of Raleigh, and hey, boy weren’t the Hartford Whalers great?
It was Ramo’s first career shutout, and you better believe it was a load off his mind. Ramo’s been the victim of more scorn from the press this season than Jenny Scrivens, so the performance was his way of telling everyone to get off his back.
Than he let in 4 goals against Nashville two days later.
The Flames lost some games. We all know how that feels, you’ve seen it all year, there’s not much for me to talk about without wanting to die drowning in Matt Hendricks pool of money.
I do want to talk about the play of Mikael Backlund, now firmly entrenched as Calgary’s primo numero uno center. While that does speak to the crippling lack of offense on the team, he has not looked out of place on the top line with Jiri Hudler and whoever isn’t injured at the moment (get well soon, Cammy!). It also serves to validate our opinions of the kid, as we at Flames Nation have talked about for years how good Backlund can be, and I alluded to in this year’s neighborhood watch. (As an aside, LOL at my Sven Baertschi predictions). Once Bob Hartley learned not to hate Backlund, he took off. He’s playing over 20 minutes a night, and had a modest three game goal streak this week until losing to SOMEHOW WINNIPEG ended the run. He’s even worn the A on his jersey in the absence of Mike Cammalleri, and I’ve decided that for the entirety of his term as an assistant captain, I am going to refer to him as B.A. Baracklund, and I REALLY wish I had thought of Photoshopping an applicable picture before writing this.
Whoops.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, JERKS.
Not sure if I’ve mentioned this to you guys before or not, but the Edmonton Oilers are a very bad hockey team.
How bad are the Oilers?
An OT win against Pittsburgh in the middle of the season was arguably the most exciting moment this franchise has experienced since they made it to game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals ALMOST A DECADE AGO *never stops weeping*.
Congrats to the Edmonton Oilers and their fans on winning the 2014 Stanley Cup tonight.
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) January 11, 2014
Some of us MAY have went a little overboard…
I literally haven’t yelled that loud after an Oilers goal since probably 06 #GOilers
— Jeanshorts (@JSBMrevolution) January 11, 2014
But when your team has been this shitty, this long, all you have to look forward to are the little victories. And to be fair this was easily one of the best games they’ve played all season, so it was a nice change of pace. WAS….
How bad are the Oilers?
The Oilers are so bad that other teams are starting to take so much pity on them they’ve started scoring goals on their own nets!
In true Oiler fashion they gave up a goal 29 seconds later, so at least it’s nice to see them stick to Dallas Eakins’ system.
How bad are the Oilers?
The Oilers are so bad th-
*BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP* We interrupt this post for a breaking news story. The Edmonton Oilers have just traded a 3rd round draft pick to the Los Angeles Kings in exchange for the world’s smartest goaltender Ben “The Professor” Scrivens. Scientists estimate the average IQ in Edmonton will go up by about 400%.
AN HE CUTE TOO!
How bad are the Oilers?
Welcome home Ben!
Via @JSBMrevolution’s timeline… Edmonton Oilers fans, everybody! pic.twitter.com/dJUPCxQptT
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) January 17, 2014
Welcome home…
#PrayForScrivens
it is kind of moving and beautiful how all three California hockey fanbases have come together to laugh at the Canucks. #unity
— John Carroll (@toshanshuinLA) January 16, 2014
Amen, brother.
Thanks to all the amazing Pacific Division Bloggers. Check back next Friday for another edition of Pacific War Room!
You can check out past editions of Pacific War Room here!