In honor of the greatest outdoor game ever played, Freeway Farce is breaking from its usual format, to bring you the best moments from the Rivalry at the Revine … the Showdown in K-Town … the Tinsletown Tussle … OK this is getting out of control …
Behold! If you grew up going to Dodger games, then you can appreciate this park for its true beauty, despite its ridiculous location, cramped and drab concourses, awful traffic and parking, and occasional violence amongst fans.
This is such a cool sight, not even the NHL could screw it up.
Dammit!
This is what you end up with when a group of suits from Toronto try to develop a “Venice Beach” theme.
While yoga lessons, beach volleyball, and rollerbladers occupied left field … YES, rollerbladers! …
Some of the "background extras" that will create the Venice Beach vibe at Dodger Stadium. pic.twitter.com/iv9XHXNEDs
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) January 26, 2014
… the right field spot, where Kirk Gibson hit his home run, was occupied by a band who was over the hill long before 1988.
“I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I’m lucky to find half an hour a week in which to get funky.”
He’s sad because he broke his guitar?
It’s going to take a pretty big miracle to salvage this thing at this point. It’s going to take a couple people, universally respected and adored, who can get things back on track. Let’s go down to FS West’s Mark Rogondino, to see if he has anybody for us.
Ummmmmm … OK?
Alyssa Milano and Olympic gold medalist, Kerri Walsh? That’s just confusing. Maybe Patrick O’Neal can do better.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
But wait, just as it seemed to be a lost cause, this happened:
Strike up the band.
USC marching band at Dodger Stadium, updated power rankings:
1. Stadium Series
3. Fleetwood Mac
On second thought, Stevie Nicks twirling a baton should probably put this one higher on the list.
And even the teams’ awful chrome jerseys looked kinda cool for that moment.
The best part of the whole thing was how understated it was.
It was everything we could have dreamed of.
And then it got better.
Boner time.
Are you wondering why Wayne Gretzky is laughing? Here is the actual conversation, picked up by NBC microphones:
Getzlaf: “You still have more hair than me.”
Brown: “Yeah, I think I got that for a while.”
It’s amazing that Wayne Gretzky looks younger than Ryan Getzlaf … when he hasn’t even had any work done … *tugs collar*
What more could you ask for? A Kings goal?
For the sake of Kings fans, we won’t dive too deep into any of that stuff that happened once the puck was dropped.
Good news! Mark Spector came out to LA to cover the game. While he was here, he reminded us all why we hate him.
First guy shoots a puck into Mannywood gets a year's supply of syringes.
— Mark Spector (@SportsnetSpec) January 26, 2014
A very timely Manny Ramirez reference
30 combined hits charted in 1st period by off-ice officials, and 1 takeaway. Think that thru. 30 hits, and only one that coughed up a puck.
— Mark Spector (@SportsnetSpec) January 26, 2014
Weird … I didn’t think Spector paid much attention to hits.
Kings down 2-0. Can LAK score three times in a 60-minute affair? Doesn't happen often.
— Mark Spector (@SportsnetSpec) January 26, 2014
Thanks for the analysis, Mark.
@Sun_Tychkowski @chemarywall You don't want him. Bad Corsi.
— Mark Spector (@SportsnetSpec) January 26, 2014
@Sun_Tychkowski @chemarywall And don’t even get me started on his Fenwick
— Mark Spector (@SportsnetSpec) January 26, 2014
He really is the worst.
Hosted like only Hollywood can host, the first Sunbelt Stadium game was awesome, dude: http://t.co/bhHvECJuBv
— Mark Spector (@SportsnetSpec) January 26, 2014
Are we sure Mark Spector didn’t come up with the “Venice Beach” idea … dude?
Puck bouncing like wild in NY. Ice appeared far superior in LA, yet less goals. Go figure.
— Mark Spector (@SportsnetSpec) January 26, 2014
But Mark, it’s not weird at all. The Kings have actually been struggling to score goals as of late, which has led to their losing streak.
Stadium Series edition…
On my way to the stadium now. From the valley though.
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
I think you meant to send that as a text. Otherwise, it would be a really weird thing to tweet.
@DucksFanZone on the field?!?
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
Now I really don’t know what’s happening.
Sweet Jesus
I've watched Cuba Gooding Jr. Pat Sajak (spell check) and Kent French walk by. Like feet away from me.
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
HOW DO YOU NOT LEAD WITH KENT FRENCH!?!?
I could swear I just saw the guy that plays Brad on How Met Your Mother
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
OMG Can somebody please get confirmation on this?
Okay I definitely saw him.
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
YES!
85 points for the Ducks and it isn't February yet. This is shaping up to be the best regular season in team history.
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
83 points. Not 85. Slipped my mind and thought that my app hadn't updated. Let's make it 85 soon though :p
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
:P
Of all the complaints I've read about the Stadium Series, failure to grow the game in Mexico is the dumbest by far. Thanks HFboards
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) January 26, 2014
This is where I disagree. I haven’t seen the league make any effort to grow the game in Mexico either.
There were a ton of complaints about the length of the lines at the concession stands at Dodger Stadium, and once fans got to the front of the line, there was an even bigger issue.
Dodger stadium ran out of beer, water and diet soda. I've resorted to coffee. It's not even second period fml #StadiumSeries
— Heather Sullivan (@HEATeHER) January 26, 2014
Apparently Dodger Stadium ran out of beer for the game. This just in: hockey fans like beer.
— Ted Starkey (@TedStarkey) January 26, 2014
Apparently Dodger stadium has run out of beer
— TMcC (@BraniacsDaughtr) January 26, 2014
Dodger Stadium SOLD OUT on beer, Kings fans, we're the best! #StadiumSeries
— Danny Gee (@TheeDannyGee) January 26, 2014
dodger stadium is out of beer rioting will occur shortly. God help us.
— Erika Kennedy (@Broncogrl25) January 26, 2014
No beer and Dodger Stadium. Words no one ever expected to hear.
— Grant W. (@waba4) January 26, 2014
So Dodger Stadium has apparently run out of beer, wine, and margaritas.
— Katey Berman (@kateyberm) January 26, 2014
They ran out of Coors Light at the Coors Light Stadium Series @ Dodger Stadium. Do hockey fans drink THAT much more beer than baseball fans?
— Kyle Braun (@KyleBraun) January 26, 2014
They didn't run out of beer at Dodger Stadium, stocking issue in certain spots.
— Lance Pugmire (@latimespugmire) January 26, 2014
Beer is not on tap at Dodger Stadium, served in bottles and cans.
— Lance Pugmire (@latimespugmire) January 26, 2014
NHL big gaffe of the season: not ordering enough beer and food at Dodger Stadium. Shouldn't they know how much hockey fans consume?!
— Todd S. Jenkins (@epistrophy68) January 26, 2014
@darrenrovell dodger stadium ran out of beer after the first intermission yesterday. pic.twitter.com/i7dA4nXhmn
— Missak Tokhmanian (@followMissak) January 27, 2014
Given how frustrating it is to watch the Kings play these days, the NHL should have foreseen their fans drinking heavily.
In the past, Freeway Farce has covered Dustin Penner’s tenuous relationship with the opposite sex. Well, this is what the postgame celebration looked like for him:
Let’s just assume that the big guy had a good night.
Kings:
Trouble scoring, huh?
Ducks:
It’s impressive … I think. It’s hard to tell when he’s facing the Kings.
Kings:
Darryl Sutter via LA Kings Insider:
On whether the Kings played physically enough:
Yeah, I didn’t think that was a problem at all. It’s not like they’re running around trying to hit guys. That’s not what ‘physical’ means.
Please tell me Mark Spector asked that question.
Ducks:
Bruce Boudreau via the LA Kings Insider:
Boudreau, on why he wore a suit instead of a jacket:
I don’t know. I look bad in anything, so it doesn’t really matter.
Bruce sounds a little down on himself, but I know one coach whose self confidence isn’t lacking no matter what outfit he’s in.
Kings Sutter on ice conditions: we've all played on ice like this before, like a spring game in old barn w no AC pic.twitter.com/3Xub1PLYLv
— Dennis Bernstein (@DennisTFP) January 25, 2014
Darryl Sutter on whether the Kings can bridge the 19-point gap with the Ducks:
Do you really think you’re going to think you’re going to close that? It’s hockey.
Kings:
A Kings highlight? What do you want from me???
Ducks:
None of the goals were pretty, but at least there were goals.
The incomparable LA Kings Insider put together a great gallery of photos from the night. Check it out here.