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TRH RECAP 30: DROPKICK MURPHY

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KINGS 3, ISLANDERS 0

The Kings somehow managed to beat the worst team in the worst division in the league, and man oh man was it dull. Who would have thought that a game against a bottom dwelling team in the Eastern Conference wouldn’t be riveting?

New York Islanders v Los Angeles Kings

Apparently this guy did.

The game itself wasn’t really the reason to attend tonight,  I attended tonight for LARRY MURPHY BOBBLE HEAD NIGHT Y’ALL!!!

bobblehead

So much yellow, Spike would be proud.

yellowman

Good God, it’s like looking into the future, isn’t it Spike?

Yes, the game tonight was wonderful for jersey watching. When you get two teams together who have such rich history’s of shit jerseys, it’s bound to be an eyeful.

jerseys2

God someone else bought that orange piece of shit?

Hey that guy in the white jersey looks familiar….

luongo_islanders

MOTHER OF GOD

Hey who’s that guy in the Scrivens Leafs jersey? I bet Twitter knows!

 

 

Eat shit, Pumper.

Screen Shot 2013-12-08 at 1.01.33 AM

Ugh, even Jenny Scrivens got in on the Twitter party.

While all this was fun, what we really came to the game for was to catch a glimpse at the legendary Larry Murphy.

hotdogs

Dollar Hot Dog Night is just not the same without you, Larry.

Larry decided to keep his Legends Night speech short, as he’s seen a few of the other ones and agrees with all of us about how annoying they are. He also may have been on his way to grab some Ludo… either way, thanks buddy. He did however manage to take a friendly jab at Bob Miller before he made his quick exit.

bob miller

Bob Miller is 1000% done with your shit, Murphy.

After the ceremony and the many many clips of Larry Murphy doing stuff as a King, it was time to actually drop the puck. Sadly, this where the entertainment ended. The Kings played possibly one of the worst periods of the year… luckily they were playing a team that has dropped eight straight, so they came out of the period tied 0-0. Shocking, I know. I wonder how many times Bob Miller has said that in his lifetime. I bet if the Kings paid Bob Miller ten dollars for every time he said, “The Kings end the first period tied 0-0” he’d be able to buy the team by now.

This game will definitely be remembered for years to come.

The second period didn’t offer much more entertainment either. It seemed like this was going to be one of those nights where the Kings completely shit the bed against an inferior opponent and lose the game 1-0. Then like a shining beacon from raccoon-eyed heaven, Anze Kopitar decided to play hockey and scored a beautiful goal on some goalie I’ve never heard of.

He really does look fantastic in that Forum Blue jersey, and I was just happy that Kings weren’t going to get shutout by the fucking Islanders. Then some more bullshit happened, like Jake Muzzin almost letting Josh Bailey score on a breakaway. Instead Muzzin got a penalty and luckily Bailey hit the post. Eat shit, loser. The period ended without much incident, and thankfully there were only twenty more minutes to play after that.

New York Islanders v Los Angeles Kings

Jake Muzzin… always alert to the play.

The third period offered some relief, because I could look at the clock and literally count the minutes until freedom. The Kings also decided to score again, and that put me a little at ease knowing that they probably weren’t going to fuck up. Dustin Brown scored on a wrap around, because that’s apparently something you can still do in the NHL.

Alex Frolov watched longingly on TV from a shack in Russia,
planning his triumphant return to America.

The Kings actually decided to play a decent third period, and we all held our breath for our little baby goaltender’s shutout. Finally, with slightly over a minute left Toffoli scored on an empty net and everyone’s top came off.

New York Islanders v Los Angeles Kings

We don’t want to see it again, Larry.

The Kings managed to hold the shutout and Colin Fraser tried to fight some dude because he felt like it.

Straight out of this week’s Homeland.

Immediately after the game, everyone jizzed over Jones.

UGH.

Overall I don’t think this game will be going down in the record books, unless of course Martin Jones does win a Vezina then I guess we have to deal with this bullshit game again at some point. Good for you Martin, I’m happy for you, but if I have to sit through this game again I am going to stab a bitch in the throat. Anyway, I’m going to go eat a hot dog (no this is not a euphemism) in honor of Larry Murphy Legends Night.

PS: GO CALIFORNIA

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One Girl One Puck is The Royal Half’s resident creeper. Her amazing posts, “Know Your Opponent“, have become a fan “favorite”. If any hockey player did anything stupid at any point of their life, and if someone was kind enough to take a picture, there’s a 100% chance she will put it in a post. She has been a Kings fan for over 15 years, even through the years when Jere Karalahti played “defense”. One Girl One Puck is also the co-founder of the hugely popular Tumblr page "Drew Doughty in Blue Jays Hats." It's exactly what you think it is. If you enjoy pointless posts about hockey players butts, she’s your girl! You can follow One Girl, One Puck on Twitter @OneGirlOnePuck.
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