Canada ain’t no thang.
We can all picture Drew Doughty giggling, as he helps Slava with his English, after practice each day:
“To say, ‘I’m sorry for what I did,’ just say ‘Fucking, shut the fuck up.’“
Next up for Slava:
art class with Daniel Carillo
Do you know? Because Twitter seems to have no clue. Either that, or LAKI is really making the most of his downtime between road games. Let’s follow along, in chronological order:
But things got really interesting, earlier in the week, when LAKI shared a glimpse of the Air Canada Centre … home to the Toronto Maple Leafs … center of the NHL universe …
… located in beautiful Montreal, Quebec.
We here at Freeway Farce have obtained exclusive footage of exactly the process Jon Rosen uses to send his Tweets:
So nice of you to dress up for this, @scrivens_30. RT @theroyalhalf Bob Miller interviewing Ben Scrivens! http://t.co/J6sDGmXYao …
— Jenny Scrivens (@JenScrivs) December 13, 2013
First Martin Jones tries to steal his job, then his wife publicly nags him for wearing jeans and flip flops on TV.
Another undefeated week for the Mighty Ducks.
We have previously established DFZ and other Ducks fan’s irrational concern with “Power Rankings.” Well that continued this week, with an interesting twist:
Ducks are number 1 in this week's ESPN power rankings after we lost two games in the shootout. #MindBlown
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) December 9, 2013
But what about the ACTUAL standings?
The Ducks are fighting to stay near the top of an ultra competitive Western Conference, but there is over half a season left to play. Surely it is too early to start scoreboard watching.
Toronto seen continuing to be useless against teams we need them to beat.
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) December 13, 2013
OR IS IT?
Winnipeg helping us with Colorado though.
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) December 13, 2013
Yes. It absolutely is.
But what if you have another team’s draft pick? Is it too early too be concerned with where that pick may be?
So…go Philadelphia tonight #beatthesens #draftpickwatch
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) December 9, 2013
Can you imagine if Ottawa finished bottom 5 and the Ducks won the lottery? Ekblad/Lindholm/Fowler/Vatanen on the same blue line…drool
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) December 9, 2013
Or we could go it Reinhart or Da Colle. Either way, with all due respect to Bobby, let's hope the Sens lose every game…unless we need them
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) December 9, 2013
to beat division rivals.
— DucksFanZone (@DucksFanZone) December 9, 2013
Apparently not.
Unrelated, I just found this to be a particularly informative stretch of tweets from DFZ:
Dustin Penner is the guy at the party who tells a mediocre joke, gets a decent laugh, and then repeats the same joke for the rest of the night:
Jesus, we get it, you wore an ugly Christmas sweater and a funny hat. The bar for “having a personality” is set so low for professional athletes.
The Ducks held their annual Casino night this week, and the theme was “High School Prom.” Here are some of the highlights, from Twitter:
Scenes from the #NHLDucks Casino Night. pic.twitter.com/IyEWwAZwcF
— Anaheim Ducks (@AnaheimDucks) December 14, 2013
#NHLDucks captain Ryan Getzlaf poses with a fan at Casino Night. pic.twitter.com/RRuo1EEFhg
— Anaheim Ducks (@AnaheimDucks) December 14, 2013
That is one creepy looking gym teacher.
The #NHLDucks prom king and queen! pic.twitter.com/JJu8sBk0Gx
— Anaheim Ducks (@AnaheimDucks) December 14, 2013
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA like Corey Perry would ever be elected prom king. It’s LITERALLY a popularity contest
Forgot to post this fun shot of the Lady Ducks from Casino Night. *From Ducks Gallery http://t.co/iA3Djbeguu
— Lulu (@rollingdux) December 15, 2013
Now that is a version of The Real Housewives of OC that I would watch.
Kings:
Trevor Lewis, 25 games played, 0 goals, 0 assists
Trevor Lewis returned to action this week. At least the Kings don’t have to worry about him taking time to find his scoring touch.
Ducks:
Teemu Selanne, 20 games played (Oct 22-Dec 11), 0 goals, 1 assist
BUT THAT ALL CHANGED ON SUNDAY NIGHT!!!
He’s back! Teemu is now on pace to finish the regular season with 8 goals and 11 assists.
That will bookend his career nicely, along with the 76 goals and 56 assists from 1992-93.
Kings:
Darryl Sutter, via LA Kings Insider:
On Willie Mitchell attempting to play in the second period, and his status:
Yeah, he played in the second. He’s dinged up a little, and I just thought he couldn’t help us.
Let’s not ask Darryl Sutter for any health updates on Willie Mitchell ever again, okay?
Second straight day Willie Mitchell hasn't skated. Sutter said he is not 'a doctor or a psychologist' and can't explain. Up to Mitchell
— Helene Elliott (@helenenothelen) January 28, 2013
Ducks:
Cam Fowler, via the LA Times:
Earlier this fall, Nashville General Manager David Poile, the Team USA GM, mentioned Fowler as a candidate for the Olympic team. On Thursday Poile said a group of young up-and-coming players will be strongly considered.
“I know there’s a lot of great players and not too many spots,” Fowler said. “We’re all fighting for our spot, doing the best we can. With the way I’ve played, the consistency I’ve shown, hopefully I’ve put myself in a good spot.… I’m working for it every day, and it’s a dream of mine.”
Cam Fowler for Team USA?
"Welcome Back, Daniel Carcillo" tribute on the scoreboard leads to an ovation.
— Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) December 16, 2013
Kings:
See, professional athletes are just like us. They too have a hard time differentiating between the Family Matters theme and the Full House theme.
Ducks:
Alex Grant: 2 goals in 2 NHL games. Easy game, yo.
The #NHLDucks look to finish a perfect homestand against Justin Schultz and the @EdmontonOilers. PREVIEW: http://t.co/l2JvtCgO2K
— Anaheim Ducks (@AnaheimDucks) December 15, 2013