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FREEWAY FARCE: WEEK 2

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FreewayFarce900

 

WEEK 2 (Oct 7-Oct 13)

 

Los Angeles Kings (4-2-0)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the LA Kings:

swanson confused

The Kings can only seem to win in OT and shootouts and against the Panthers(which counts least of all). They are blowing leads. The blueline is kind of a mess. Nobody is scoring (except Jeff Carter). The options for the second line LW are Daniel Carcillo and Dwight King.

We also would have accepted:

Quick Rangers goal GIF 2

Ben Scrivens reacts to the NHL’s top story:

If you had to shower with Jeff Carter every day, you too would become an expert at hiding boners.

Reminder that not all of the Kings blogging community is as classy as theroyalhalf.com:

#BonerTips > #VagChat

Fox Sports West soft porn of the week:

Jeff Carter + soft focus + a gentle breeze from a fan – Jon Rosen = TV MA

 

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (4-1-0)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim:

swansondance

The offense is rolling, Teemu’s farewell tour is underway, and the organization celebrated its 20th anniversary this week.

The elephant in the room (or rather, not in the room) as the Ducks celebrated their 20th anniversary:

PaulKariyaKOed

You really should read this piece from Mark Whicker, on Paul Kariya and his place in the franchise’s history, among other things:

“They should retire his number. Absolutely. But he says, no, don’t ever talk to him about that. He’s still a little humble about that, for sure.”

Selanne senses Kariya is “bitter” about the way it all ended, about the fact that Kariya’s head became a piñata, and nobody seemed to care.

If for no other reason than it is one of the only OC Register stories NOT behind a paywall.

The Worst of the Worst from @ducksfanzone:

If you are new to Ducks Fan Zone, this is a pretty good representation of what you can expect.

Ducks Fan zone week 2

Ducks Fan Zone: forever trolling, unsuccessfully

Fair enough. He has been playing really well.

Yeah, it really is too bad that Bobby Ryan hasn’t been able to produce for the Senators.

My head hurts.

So this is a thing?

What kind of idiot thinks 82 goals in 82 games is sustainable?

Oh, sorry boss.

Hey, injury updates! That is useful information.

In Review: The Ducks being plagued by early season injuries is concerning because of what it may mean for their AHL affiliate. #phooey

SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Stat Line of the Week:

Kings:

Scrivens Shutout

#StartScrivens

Just kidding. Relax, we all know that Jonathan Quick’s job is safe…

Quick Gaff 1

Ducks:

Bryan Allen

Of course Bryan Allen is the Ducks’ best defenseman.

Winner: Kings.

Wow. I can’t believe the Kings were able to upgrade from Jonathan Bernier to Ben Scrivens, AND add Matt Frattin. Deano does it again!

 

Second Round, War of Words:

Kings:

via lakingsinsider.com:

Ellerby, on whether he’ll reconnect with any old teammates:
Yeah, I might meet up with a couple of them for dinner tonight. Just shoot the [breeze] for a little bit. Just see some old friends. It’s always good to see old friends, old teammates. Come tomorrow, though, they’re on the other team now, so it’s business as usual, I guess.

When you’re fighting for the best seat in the press box, friendships just don’t matter anymore.

Also, [breeze] = shit. Come on Rosen, we’re all adults here.

Ducks:

via anaheimducks.com

“It’s great,” said Bonino. “It’s really cool they’re having guys from the first few teams here. There’s such a tradition here. It’s been 20 years.”

That quote from Nick Bonino is a little confusing. Usually 20 years wouldn’t be considered “such a tradition.”

“Especially with the movies, I think that’s the coolest thing for a lot of us. We grew up watching those movies. If it’s on TV these days, I’ll stop what I’m doing and watch it. I’ll say every line. It’ll be cool for the fans, and especially the players.”

Wait, does Nick Bonino think they are honoring the Mighty Ducks movies? He must have been really disappointed when this guy showed up:

hebert card

instead of this guy:

goldberg1

Winner: Kings.

Thanks to the OC register and their paywalls, this section of the post is the hardest thing to put together every week. For this, the Ducks will be punished.

 

Third Round, Video Highlight of the Week:

Kings:

Dozens were on hand, in Florida, to witness the start of the Daniel Carcillo era. One day I will be able to tell my children that I was watching(which will actually be a lie, because I was watching the NFL games like a normal person).

Ducks:

So uh yeah uh, Jonas Hiller, uh seems to be, uh yeah uh, really uninterested in, uh yeah uh, this whole thing, so uh yeah uh.

Winner: Ducks.

Viktor Fasth put Bob Dylan on the back of his mask. He is the antithesis of Jason Labarbera.

jason-labarbera

 

WINNER OF THE WEEK: This guy…

We found our target audience for Freeway Farce.

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.
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