NORTH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BLOGGER – THE SEASON FINALE
North America has spoken… and fitting in with the stereotype… it seems the only person they didn’t like was the dude from Montreal.
Au revoir, les habitant.
And in typical American fashion… the voters screwed up the election and now we have no idea who the winner is.
Man… how badly did Mikey P. stuff the ballot box, huh?
I really hope the 7 finalists read the fine print of the NANTB Contract that they signed… because this is what happens in case of a tie:
Now let’s be real… you all didn’t actually think we’d leave the decision as to who would be the newest member of The Royal Half to the voting public, did you? Remember what happened the last time a bunch of hockey people were allowed to vote on something?
Alex Ovechkin became 2/3rds of the best line on the Washington Capitals.
And now… everyone is blindsided… as we reveal the most shocking North America’s Next Top Blogger secret yet…
#TeamTRH is gonna decide this bitch.
That’s right… #TeamTRH has been working all weekend long to decide who will be taking home the prize of Bud Light Lime for Life… and the title of North America’s Next Top Blogger. Let’s hear what #TeamTRH had to say about each of the remaining entries!
KING TUFFICULT:
Jack A. Wilson says:
“I get the blog equivalent of piss shiver when I read her stuff.”
THAT IS JUST GOOD STUFF.
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast says:
I relate to his story about having a Dad that grew up rooting for a team from Quebec and I’m intrigued by the possibility of someone bringing a more analytical voice to Team TRH. More importantly… he follows me on Twitter so I’m ok if he wins.
Spike Coffman says:
If The Half is Claude Lemieux, Tufficult reminds me of Sean Avery. The key to success is to be edgy like The Half but it will go terribly wrong when he claims that Surly & Scribe are taking his sloppy seconds.
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says:
BRIAN ROWLAND:
Jack A. Wilson says:
This is tough. Solid all around. Very funny…but oh man, that blog post was basically just a TRH post. I would wonder if he would be able to find an original voice/gimmick.
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast says:
I like that he knew who Peter Ahola was but I don’t accept his weak ass excuse for not following the team just because he was “out of the country”. Doing what? Rooting for the Ducks? Plus he doesn’t follow me on Twitter so he can go blog for Surly & Scribe for all I care.
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says:
KING OF THE HORNS:
PumperNicholl says:
Can I still be mad at this guy from he was Sutter’s Longhorn and re-wrote our playoff material as his own? And based on his blog, he’s not really bringing anything new to the table.
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast says:
While I don’t love that he was born in 1992 because it makes me feel old I do love the fact that he chose Fiset and Robitaille as the players to idolize and he follows me on Twitter so he’s tres bon in my book.
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says:
TODD S. JENKINS:
PumperNicholl says:
Anyone else love “Yes, Season Penner was as reliable as a streetcorner Rolex. Yes, he could piss off Darryl Sutter with a stray hiccup” as much as I did?! He could totally do some retro or prospect pieces that are informative and subtly funny.
Jack A. Wilson says:
Totally think a serious article, every once in a while, could be useful… and this guy could actually pull that off.
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast says:
I love the prospect of not being one of the oldest members of Team TRH and I’m intrigued by the fact that Todd used to root for the Atlanta Flames. I don’t really care about the Reign but I’m moved by his dedication to sled hockey and his son. Ultimately it comes down to whether or not he follows me on Twitter. He does so I’m a fan.
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says:
MATT BELL:
PumperNicholl says:
His point about why Dean Lombardi might have gone after Daniel Carcillo was a good argument and an angle that I haven’t seen before. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THIS SITE NEEDS.
I just wish he knew what a comma was and didn’t put two spaces after periods. The multiple uses of players’ first names bugged me, too.
Jack A. Wilson says:
It’s pretty good actually…but super dry. Also, A ROBYN REGEHR FAN?!?!
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast says:
While I don’t approve of the unapologetic bandwagoning he and his father did in the early 90’s, they clearly stuck with the team through the lean years. I can relate to the Finals being the last hockey his father watched since my own father moved to South Carolina two days after we watched Game 6 together at STAPLES Center after 20 years of being miserable Kings fans together. Unlike my dad, Matthew follows me on Twitter so he’s got my Dads vote. Unfortunately my Dad doesn’t get a vote.
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says:
MIKEY P.:
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast says:
He doesn’t follow me on Twitter so really what the hell are we talking about here?
Text Message to an Anonymous Member of #TeamTRH says:
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says:
FLUBBER MCGEE:
PumperNicholl says:
Give that man the $10,000! But it’s Stanley Cup “FINAL” not “Finals.”
Can we start a Team TRH bonfire with the other applications?
Jack A. Wilson says:
I think the Battle of California guys RT him all the time.
Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast says:
I claim that I started the rumor of the Kings moving to Kansas City a few years ago and Flubber is from Kansas City. He follows me on Twitter too so I don’t see how he’s not the clear winner.
Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy says:
But before we announce the winner of North America’s Next Top Blogger… Jersey Brian is here to give us a behind-the-scenes look at what exactly each #TeamTRH Judge was searching for in a NANTB contestant:
Jersey Brian says:
TRH: Who can I get to give me free content that will still re-tweet and worship me at the end of the day?
HSTHB: /sends outdated dancing baby meme to point out his favorites
Indiana Matt: /sends email that he likes HSTHB’s dancing baby meme; gets called out by HSTHB
PumperNicholl: I like Tackleberry
OneGirlOnePuck: Do any of them have a six pack or really tight ass? Asking for a friend. Just kidding – if so, send photo evidence to me
Jack A. Wilson: If none of them subscribe to Fox Sports 1, then why bother.
Jesse Cohen: Writes novel about his picks longer than the entire Game of Thrones series…HBO may make a series of it before I’m done reading it
Ironsight Design: Current drawing a Pixar-like illustration of all the candidates. It’s been rendering for the last 6 weeks.
Spike Coffman: Whoever has the rare, unaired finale to the ProStars cartoon where Gretzky saves the world, I vote for them.
Duke of LA Hockey: SOG – LA 12/CHI 16
Ok, contestants of North America’s Next Top Blogger… behind each of you is a replica Stanley Cup. Grab a Cup and approach the keg. Dip it in and fill the cup with beer. This is important, because in this game, beer represents life. Once your beer is gone, so are you.
It is time to vote.
Once the votes are read, the decision is final, the person voted out will be asked to leave the TRH council area immediately. The winner… of North America’s Next Top Blogger… is….
… going to be revealed later this afternoon here on The Royal Half!!!
