HOCKEY HOARDERS: Episode II

HockeyHoarders

Biggest trade in NHL history occurred 25 years ago, you say

Well, that makes this the perfect time to delve into the seedy underbelly of the random hockey item secondhand market!

While all of you were reminiscing of the monumental impact Wayne Gretzky had on Los Angeles and American hockey, I was continuing my unlikely goal of finding the holy grail of hockey memorabilia.

But, for this post only, screw Gretzky! The man has hocked every item imaginable.

Today, we focus on the biggest pieces of “The Trade” and see what we could dig up.

LA Kings acquire:
Wayne Gretzky
Marty McSorley
Mike Krushelnyski

Edmonton Oilers acquire:
Jimmy Carson
Martin Gelinas
$15 million in cash
3 First Round picks

Sorry Martin Rucinsky, future draft picks don’t count!

 

No. 5

INITIAL REACTION: 4.5

I miss playing floor hockey so much.

USEFULNESS: 5.0

This is a 10 if you’re an Iginla fan under 8 years old.

PRICE: 5.5

This is one of those rare appropriately priced eBay items.

VALUE: 1.5

This should be valued higher, but it just becomes sad when you realize Gelinas was the third biggest star at the time. Not my opinion, but the Calgary Flames actually must have believed that.

STREET CRED: 1.0

“Hey, remember that time the Flames almost won the Stanley Cup on that Gelinas non-goal?”

Yeah, doesn’t really work.

FINAL SCORE: 17.5

 

No. 4

INITIAL REACTION: 0.0

TOO SOON!!!!!!

USEFULNESS: 4.5

Not very useful unless you plan on using it for kindling.

PRICE: 7.5

You can barely buy a new stick for that price!

VALUE: 8.5

This becomes a pretty cool item to hang up in a living or game room because of, you know, June 11, 2012.

STREET CRED: 7.5

Much like the value, the street cred becomes pretty awesome. Bonus points if you have an NHL issued measuring coin!

FINAL SCORE: 28.0

 

No. 3

INITIAL REACTION: 6.5

LO(L)MG

USEFULNESS: 7.5

The TV Guide is probably a 10.0 in Canada because I’m assuming it says “hockey” on the listings of 48 pages. The Peter Pocklington picture is just gold, too.

PRICE: 4.5

The price is a tad high because the TV Guide is listed by Bruce McNall and the picture by Pocklington, probably.

VALUE: 8.5

These items to need be framed side-by-side for full value. And if you’re able to do that, I think that $30-something dollars is worth the lifetime of laughs.

STREET CRED: 8.0

This combination of items may not over particularly well in Edmonton, but everywhere else? Gold. Pure gold.

FINAL SCORE: 35.5

 

No. 2

INITIAL REACTION: 9.5

WHAT?!

USEFULNESS: 0.0

I mean, let’s be serious here.

PRICE: 9.5

*throws wallet at computer screen*

VALUE: 9.0

My schizophrenic back-and-forth in the previous categories aside, how amazing are these drawings?!

STREET CRED: 8.5

I’m assuming these became available once Mike Krushelnyski’s stalker was institutionalized, which makes this even better!

FINAL SCORE: 36.5

 

No. 1

INITIAL REACTION: 7.0

About 10 hours of me hearing this played over and over in my head.

USEFULNESS: 6.5

The neon accents make this the perfect shirt for me, or any other fan, to be ridiculed for wearing an awesome old shirt.

PRICE: 7.5

A tad bit high, but they probably only made like six of these, so…

VALUE: 9.0

…that make this an awesome collector’s item!

STREET CRED: 9.5

Frankly, I don’t want to be associated with people who don’t like Jimmy Carson.

FINAL SCORE: 39.5

 
Sigh. No perfect 50 today, but there’s always tomorrow…

PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games… and the Police Academy movies. You should probably follow PumperNicholl on Twitter @pumpernicholl