Alright, folks… it looks like our RECAP artist, PumperNicholl, is here to stay. Here are his thoughts on the “game” that the Los Angeles Kings played last night in Dallas.


Tuesday night looked like it was going to be a good one for Kings fans. The team had a chance to distance itself from the Wild and Sharks in the race for the No. 4 seed and perhaps make last valiant one more push for the Pacific Division lead.

As the night carried on, #Lumbus took care of the Sharks and the Wild were shutout by the mighty Blackhawks. Naturally with all of these good things happening, the Kings were destined to falter.
But what exactly happened? Where did it all start going so wrong?
Fortunately we have the good old Internet to walk us through the game. Without actually, you know, looking up a box score, the recap or mentioning most of the actual gameplay. Some spots get hazy, but I promise you will see the most important parts of the game.
Psh… yeah right! The Stars are terrible.

1st Period
Prettiest smile in Dallas.
So the Kings jump ahead with an early powerplay goal. The Stars respond. And we’re all knotted up at 1-1 after 20. Whew. I’m exhausted.
2nd Period
Things didn’t get better in the second. After Doughty’s quick goal, the Kings somehow don’t remember how to do anything. This included wasting three powerplay opportunities in the period. Some fans didn’t take this well.
Are you saying Jesus Christ couldn’t score on a one-timer?
Third Period
Anyway, the score stayed 1-1 as we headed into the third, where the Kings have outscored opponents 42-29 this season. So Kings fans are still feelin’ pretty good.
Not sure who exactly he’s asking but I like his style.
But then things get a little fuzzy once the puck is dropped…
I don’t think he knows who those players are…
Alright, fine! As long as you’re happy!
Note: That may or may not be TRH’s personal Twitter account.
As long as you don’t leave anyone out!

Feel bad that these people couldn’t get a ticket cause of the sell out crowd.

WHOA! How the hell did we get here?! The defending Stanley Cup champs just got destroyed in the third period by a lottery team?! Kings fans, we need some answers here. And is everyone going to be OK?

Best fans in the NHL.


Oh jeeze. I’m so sor…
Kings fans grieve in their own way…
But don’t worry. We Kings fans are a resilient bunch! Nothing can get us down.
That’s the, um, spirit?
I know it’s hard to understand why things happen to your favorite team, and that’s why fans take to Twitter to vent their frustrations. It’s like the equivalent of shouting from a mountaintop to no one in particular. You just have to get it off your chest. I get it. We all get it.
But people do want those questions answered. They just don’t know who to ask. Luckily, I’m here to help with your hockey related woes.
Now, I’ll be happy to answer all of your well-thought out questions and provide you with in-depth analysis if you just line up single file so we can make sure everyone is heard.
A very fair question. You see…
Ma’am I was just about to…
If you all could just…
Hey now!
You see…


Fat jokes? When the hell did we get to this point?
Um, maybe we’ll try this again next week when you’ve all calmed down. In the meantime, I see some of you have provided your own solutions for tonight’s loss and I’m happy to listen to your insight!


Amen! But we can get more detailed ideas.


No, no. You’re thinking too small.


There it is! Better get Dean on the phone.
TRH Three Stars of the Night
3. Drew Doughty
Goals in three straight games for DD! He’s clearly been playing with more confidence lately and is finally filling up the score sheet to boot. Plus Drew completed the rare “Doughnut Hat Trick” by scoring a goal, taking an unsportsmanlike penalty and finishing at -1.
2. Ray Whitney
The Wizard was born 19 years, 11 months and 17 days before Tyler Toffoli. Whitney even recorded his first NHL assist nine days before the Toff entered this world. Sure Whitney scored two goals last night, but I can’t get over how old he is! I’m not even mad. That’s impressive.
1. Dallas Stars Twitter
Dikembe Mutombo. Dallas legend. Apparently.
The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.