TRH Playoff Recap 1: Game Won

What is the only thing worse than losing Game 1 at home to the 8th overall seed? Losing Game 1 at home by a goal from the worst player on the 8th overall seed.

I call it the Penner Pump. And it’s sweeping the nation.
Just like the panic over the Canucks is sweeping Canada.

Dustin Penner might have scored the Game Winning Goal… but the real #1 Star tonight was the LA Kings Official Twitter account which had all of Vancouver crying. Even more than usual!





AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, man… LA Kings Twitter… you are funny!


If you are Anze Kopitar… and you’ve only seen post-season action once before in your career because of a horrible injury you suffered last year… what’s the first thing you are going to do when the national spotlight that is the NHL Playoffs shine on you?

Nearly pick a booger and eat it of course.


It’s Opening Night of the 2012 NHL Playoffs… and everyone in the city of Vancouver was heading to Rogers Arena for the Game 1 matchup against the Los Angeles Kings.

Yikes… the Sedin Twins got old fast. Concussions are scary.

I’m more of a fan of the Sedin Triplets.

Obviously, Jon Quick did not get the memo about wearing hoodies.

Ok… seriously! How are we NOT supposed to make fun of him? He’s wearing pantyhose.

Jeez… have you seen anything greasier and more disgusting than the back of Roberto Luongo’s head?

Oh… I guess you have.
Is it just me or does Anze Kopitar have the same eyes as that whale behind him?

Worst. Stanley Cup. Winners. Ever.


I’ll take “Comparisons That No One Ever Thought Would Be Made” for 800, please.

Now THAT’S an X-Factor.
Wednesday night, Mike Richards and Jeff Carter outscored
Brayden Schenn, Wayne Simmonds and Jack Johnson combined. But only by 2 points

There is no way around it… when the LA Kings played an overall solid game and beat the best team in the NHL 4-2… everyone was pretty shocked.

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Roberto.”

Ryan Kesler eagerly awaits the scores from the French Judge.

Darryl Sutter isn’t shocked. This is him smiling.

I have to say… as an American… it’s total BS that they’ve tilted down
the Penalty Box cameras to avoid the Green Men’s junk.

“Hey Mike and Jeff. It’s the last few minutes of the period… wanna skate together?”

“Naw… that’s cool, Anze. We’ll stick with the guy we’re with.”


“Yeah… we want to fuck with all of the hockey world.”

And that’s how Dustin Penner came to score the game-winning goal in Game 1.

And that’s how every Vancouver Canucks fan threw up a little bit in their mouth right afterwards.

Yeah… I’d say that Jeff Carter is happy in LA.

Slow down now, LA Kings fans. It’s just 1 game. But this was big enough of an upset to get people associated with the Kings acting crazier than they ever have before.

Dean Lombardi is the anti-Brian Burke.
Have you ever seen anything crazier than Dean Lombardi tucking in his tie?

For one glorious night Dustin Penner made all of us Los Angeles Kings fans forget about the fact that he had the same amount of regular season points as Simon Gagne. Because tonight… he totally munsoned the Vancouver Canucks.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.