TRH Recap 36: 4 on the Floor


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I wish there was some way to visually represent how much the Los Angeles Kings have struggled to score 3 goals in regulation over the past 14 games.

I guess we’ll have to go with this.
Obviously, the LA Kings are confusing their penalty kill and their 5 on 5 units…
because neither one is letting any goals get scored. 

I’m just glad that the high-priced scorers on the LA Kings roster came through with goals tonight.

Oh… hey… um, Rob Scuderi?

Oh… and of course, it’s you too… Willie Mitchell?

“Drew, it’s super easy. Just stop trying to do everything and shoot the puck from the blueline.
And to think… they used to call me overpaid.”

Seriously, when was the last time the LA Kings scored enough goals to chase away a NHL goaltender?
Too bad they still couldn’t chase away a NHL goaltender tonight.

When the LA Kings scored 2 goals in the 1st period, it was only the 2nd time the LA Kings scored 2 goals in the 1st period this season. And if I didn’t know any better, it looked like the Kings came out in the 1st with a lot of extra motivation.

“If you city kids don’t score 3 or more goals this game then we are having a bag skate tomorrow.
And by ‘bag skate’ I don’t mean a session without pucks… I mean a practice where you will puke into a bag. Repeatedly.” 

Don’t look now… but Darryl Sutter is 2-0-1 as the Head Coach of the Los Angeles Kings.

He’s changed so much over the past few years.

For all the talk of Darryl Sutter being a yeller and a screamer as a NHL Head Coach… he sure does LOVE to whisper in his players ears.

This kind of stuff doesn’t fly in a Post-Sandusky America.

And it used to be that hot chicks would hang out behind Terry Murray on the bench… but now in the Darryl Sutter Era, we just get neurotic Jews.

I’m 95% convinced that is either Surly or Scribe behind Darryl Sutter.

Well of course the Los Angeles Kings players scored goals tonight… their Dads were watching!

I had no idea that Jack Johnson’s dad was Robert Wagner.

Oh and there is Jack Johnson Sr. drunk photo-bombing Reid Mitchell’s interview.
The Kings fathers were on the screen for a total of 15 seconds…
and Jack Johnson’s father is EXACTLY as annoying as I thought he’d be.

BREAKING NEWS: Jack Johnson calls his Dad “J2.”


That isn’t a piece of gauze in Mike Richards ear…
it’s an earpiece to God.

Oh no… Simon Gagne could be out for a while with a head injury? How will the Kings ever replace the goals he’s been scorin… oh right, nevermind. We’re good.

Simon Gagne is finally assuming his natural position with the Kings. Injured.

 7 points in 4 games. 1 point out of a playoff spot in the Western Conference and 2 points out of 1st place in the Pacific Division. I can’t think of anything else I’d want this Holiday Season.

Maybe Anze Kopitar greenscreened in front of a goal he’s scoring into so I can remember what it looks like?

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.