Pundays: 1-3-1 is the Loneliest Number

Partially inspired by the Occupy Wall Street movement, we here at The Royal Half decided to refuse to publish a brand new Pundays, our look at the best and worst of the NHL.com Front Page Pun Headlines, until the Los Angeles Kings scored more than 2 goals in a game. Thankfully, the Kings exploded for 5 goals last Saturday night and after two strenuous weeks of protest… Pundays is back in business!

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past 2 weeks!!!

Obviously, the biggest thing in the NHL to happen over the past 2 weeks was the promotion of a rookie goalie with 1 year of AHL experience into the biggest hockey market in the world. What could go wrong? 

Yeah, cause that’s all NHL.com needed… another Toronto rookie goalie with a totally pun-able last name.

Listen, Ben Scrivens… turns out you aren’t the only rookie goaltender to be featured in the Pun Headlines over the last 2 weeks.

And now it looks like Jhonas Enroth will be dealing with the Roth of Milan Lucic.

The Pun Headline Writers at NHL.com are never afraid to take chances… but over the past two weeks I noticed some Pun Headlines that were truly off-the-charts awful.

There should be a LupHole for getting bad puns off the front page of NHL.com.


Pretty sure it’s not pronounced Lead-strom.

I first read this as “Jarome In Charge” which was my 2nd favorite sitcom of the late 80’s.

Yeah, it took a couple seconds for me to figure it out too.

Now this is just a complete butchering of the English language for the benefit of a pun.
Let’s just keep this one on the down low, huh?

With almost every NHL team in competition for a playoff spot (offer not valid in Columbus, Ohio), the Pun Headline Writers at NHL.com want to make sure the individual teams are getting just as much time in the spotlight as the individual players.

Seriously… the Oilers really need to start losing

The greatest thing about this Pun Headline is that it highlights 2 of the greatest Canadian exports to the US.
Zdeno Chara and Alanis Morissette.

For a while here, I thought that maybe the writers at NHL.com assumed anytime there is a blue jersey…
it’s time for a Phil Kessel Pun Headline

More like Sabe Worst for Now.

Oh… so I guess they finally announced who the bad guy is that the NHL Guardians are trying to capture.

This is the same battle cry Patrick Kane screams when he walks into a bar.

Well.. with a .896 save %, I can tell you who ISN’T cou-doing it.

But you are a modern hockey fan… so who gives a shit about the teams?!? Let’s see some Player-Name-Pun-Headlines, yo!

I might need to TY a noose if I keep seeing Tyler Seguin pun headlines.

Being benched by his coach may be the least of Ovechkin’s problems this season.

No… no it’s actually not all good at all. 


How tempted were they to add “After All These Years” to the end of this.

I can’t wait until he’s Kippin’ It Real in Detroit.

Dustin Brown really wishes he was in this Pun Headline.

Finally, a Connolly on the front page of NHL.com that actually plays the sport of hockey.
The above statement also applies to Tim Connolly.

And finally… this week’s award for “Best Pundays About an Old Friend Returning“…

Wait… I thought Hitch was the black dude, not the fat white guy.


I’d probably say Doug Gilmour’s time with the Sabres was the “less” part of his career.


As always, check out our Pundays Archive located just below the Royal Half banner at the top of the page.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.