Shoot the Glass!

Rule 63 – Delaying the Game

63.2 Minor Penalty –

A minor penalty for delay of game shall be imposed on any player

or goalkeeper who deliberately shoots or bats the puck outside the

playing area during the play or after a stoppage of play.

When any player or goalkeeper, while in his defending zone,

shoots the puck directly (non-deflected) out of the playing surface,

except where there is no glass, a penalty shall be assessed for

delaying the game. When the puck is shot into the players’ bench, the

penalty will not apply. When the puck is shot over the glass ‘behind’

the players’ bench, the penalty will be assessed.

What an completely asinine rule! I understand calling a penalty if a player in the defensive zone intentionally shoots the puck over the glass… I mean, I actually applauded the NHL when they introduced that rule a few years ago. It eliminated an easy way for defensemen to get a whistle under pressure… but 19 Year Old Drew Doughty shot the puck from the neutral zone!!! over the glass of the opposing net!!! on a penalty kill!!! and he didn’t “deliberately” try to shoot it over the glass!!! There is no rhyme or reason to why that should be a penalty. Oh, and guess what… teams that play strong defensive systems, like what the Kings have turned into, they score less. But it’s pretty hard to score less than 7 goals in the last 5 games! So say goodbye to any hope of the explosive offense the Kings were once rumored to have. Coach Murray has bred a “shut-down” defensive team in the model of the New Jersey Devils of the 90’s or Minnesota Wild of the 00’s. So last year, the Kings biggest problem was keeping the pucks out of their own net… while this year, they can’t hit water if they fell out of a boat.

Kings 1, Ducks 3

The only thing worse than losing a game on an obscure penalty is having to watch it unfold on the Ducks broadcast on FSW Prime Ticket. Now, I grew up during the heyday of Prime Ticket in Los Angeles, so this “re-branding” of Prime Ticket for FSW will never be the same to me. I had the Center Ice package for a few years before giving up on it this season and if I learned anything from watching NHL hockey around the country it’s that Ducks broadcasters John Ahlers and Brian Hayward could quite possibly be the worst announcing team in the NHL.

Brian Hayward is just awful as a color announcer. He’s egotistical for no apparent reason, he overreacts to EVERYTHING and all he did during tonight’s game was repeat over and over and over that the Kings were not sending any forecheckers into the defensive zone. Great analysis, Brian. Plus, he agreed to this segment (which I assume is a regular segment, Ducks fans?):

I guess Robert Hays wasn’t available.

Play by Play announcer John Ahlers is just as bad. And there must be something going on in his personal life that has allowed him to use the word “rimming” non-stop when referring to a puck’s movement along the boards. As in “Pronger rims it around the boards.” And tonight during the Ducks-Kings broadcast he broke out this beauty:


In case you where wondering he just said “Los Angeles has not won a game in any of their last 12 victories where they gave up more than 2 goals.”

Say what you will about the beautiful and talented Los Angeles Kings sideline reporter Heidi Androl… but I’d rather have her interviewing quasi-celebrities and talking about hockey charity functions than listen to one more word from this fake tan from the Ducks broadcast crew:

I guess weatherman school didn’t pan out like you thought it would.

Forget about the broadcast team… when did Skeletor start coaching for the Ducks?

“I Am Skeletor, Overlord of Evil! And Power Play coach!”

“The offensive breakout is completely failing!”

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.