TRH RECAP SAN JOSE SHARKS ROUND 1 GAME 1: ‘WTF KINGS’ EDITION

SJS_1_Recap

KINGS 3, SHARKS 6

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Welcome back, friends!

It’s been 11 months since we last saw the LA Kings and San Jose Sharks slug it out in a seven-game playoff series and we all remember how much fun that was!

*looks through last season’s recaps and notes*

…OK so apparently neither fan base enjoyed that series. Like, at all.

Sure, there were moments of pure jubilation, such as Trevor Lewis’ game-winning goal in Game 2 and Logan Couture’s overtime dagger in Game 3. But, for the most part, it was sheer torture to watch the highs and lows unfold.

I really, really, really don’t want to go through that again.

However, we find ourselves right back in the middle of the chaos.

So sit back and try to enjoy what I’m sure is going to be a low-scoring Game 1!

*opens handle of vodka while uncontrollably sobbing*

 

FIRST PERIOD:

1-0 Sharks

2-0 Sharks

3-0 Sharks

 

SECOND PERIOD:

4-0 Sharks

5-0 Sharks

 

THIRD PERIOD:

5-1 Sharks

5-2 Sharks

5-3 Sharks

6-3 Sharks

…that’s exactly what happened!

 
TRH THREE STARS OF THE NIGHT

3. Jonathan Quick

Good thing for Quick that
Dean Lombardi can’t use his compliance buyout during the playoffs!

 

2. The San Jose Sharks Offense

The most amazing part is that this was taken during the second period.

 

1. Raffi Torres

Raffi Torres Celly - The Royal Half

Raffi Torres is an anagram for
“O Farts Firer.”

PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games… and the Police Academy movies.You should probably follow PumperNicholl on Twitter @pumpernicholl
  • Westgarth

    Torres during that celebration:

    “Holy crap, I contributed in a meaningful way. Shit – uh… I’m supposed to dance or something.”
    [squats, pulls arm back]
    “Crap. What’s that next part?”
    [pauses, holds]
    [pauses, holds]
    “Great, now I have to poop.”
    [pauses, holds]
    [pauses, holds]
    [pauses, holds]
    “Fuck it.”
    [raises arms]
    “DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP”