Sounding Off

The Royal Half Los Angeles Kings Playoff Clinching Countdown

AKA… did Calgary Lose Tonight?

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NO. CALGARY DIDN’T PLAY.

SO INSTEAD, THE STUPID FUCKING KINGS LOST.

Los Angeles Kings fans got a great look at what’s in store for them in the playoffs tonight in Minnesota, as Future Franchise Goalie, Jon Bernier, was recalled from the minors and suited up as Jon Quick’s backup.. And by “what’s in store in the playoffs”… of course I’m talking about the Manchester Monarchs quest for the Calder Cup… which will be the only playoffs Kings fans will be seeing this Spring.

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“So yeah, I’m leading the AHL in save percentage and shootouts. 3rd in wins.”
“What’s the AHL?”

Kings 2, Wild 3, Moral: at a all time-low

 

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Okay, Minnesota Wild… I think you are getting a little too clever for your own good.

Listen, what do I know… I just post funny screengrabs of the Kings. I’ll let the real analysts of the Kings Blogosphere tell you what’s going on with this team. Check it out… after the jump!

 

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Wow. Even the LA Kings Alumni came down on the Kings.

And those guys are employed by the Kings!

There’s really nothing to say about this game. There’s nothing to say about a team that goes 0 for 5 on their Power Play, including two 5 on 3′s. There’s nothing to say about a team that refuses to show up to one of its biggest games of the season. There is nothing to say about a team that has all of its offense come from a guy with the nickname “Scooter.”

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“Aw man, Scott… doesn’t this remind you of that game against Hersey where you scored…”

“Hey Bernie… act like you’ve been there before.”

I knew this game was going to be a disaster when the Fox Sports West HD broadcast led off with the creepiest photo I’ve ever seen of Mikko Koivu.

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If we don’t make playoff… you don’t make playoff.

And I guess that even though Matt Greene was injured the last couple games… that didn’t keep him out of the tanning booth.

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With every game the Kings lose… Matt Greene inches closer to becoming Gary Busey.

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Hey Jim Fox, the next time you want to make a joke and call it a ‘Brown Eye.’
You should look up what that phrase means.

Well at least Jon Bernier is starting Tuesday against the Nashville Predators right? I mean, this guy is the Kings Goalie of the Future, right?

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Oh boy.

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What’s that? Yawning on the bench during an NHL game?
Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t realize this was old-hat to you by now.

7 games left in the season. 6 points from being out of the playoffs. 4 straight losses. 1 point from being the 8th seed.

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Yeah, Herb. It might take a miracle.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.