Pundays: Bowled Over

It’s been quite some time since our last edition of Pundays, where we take an in-depth look at the best and worst of the NHL.com front page pun headlines. But just because we took a few weeks off doesn’t mean that the headline writers at NHL.com get to go on a break. Take a gander at what we’ve been missing over the past 6 weeks.  

So here we go, Pundays is back again and bigger than ever. I really wish there was a phrase that could best describe exactly why I’ve been unable to write about the NHL.com pun headlines the last few weeks… but whatever phrase I think of just seems disorganized and without logic.  

I’ve missed you so, NHL.com pun headlines.  

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!  

Of course the big action last week was the All-Star Game in Raleigh, North Carolina. And apparently, Pearl Jam was headlining the festivities.  

I’m holding out for the Dirty Frank J. Selke Trophy. 

One might even say that the festivities surrounding the All-Star Game were really entertaining.  

Or you could just say that.  

The pun headlines even featured the best in Southern cooking.  

But NHL.com quickly realized that fans of hockey are looking for a different piece of meat.  

And in terms of the All-Star gameplay? For one thing, the action sure wasn’t stalled.  

But most of all, the All-Star Game featured the best performance by a Sharpie since the days when Terrell Owens was relevant

With the All-Star weekend over… it was time to for the pun headline writers of NHL.com to quit skating at half speed… and kick it into pun overdrive.  

You gotta kill time at the NHL.com offices somehow.

I guess going with the French public TV network, France 5, would have been a big stretch.
Maybe Franz Five-dinand?

Come, on, that’s too easy.

It’s more clever for sure, but you’ve used it before

Surprisingly, this pun headline wasn’t used when Cole was checked by Brooks Orpik.

Too bad Robert Lang didn’t sign with the Canadiens over the summer…
you could have Auld Lang Sign.  

Because nothing screams culturally relevant than the craft of shaping rough pieces of rock
into accurate geometrical shapes and then arranging the resulting stones to form structures.
Or as I like to call it… the Toronto Maple Leafs blueline. HEY-OH! 

Now you are just showing off, poindexter!

In case you are getting tired of the name puns, NHL.com is always anxious to please.  

Wait a second… you can’t use “Bru” in a non-Boston Bruins related pun!
That breaks the Hockey Rules!!!  

The Jersey Shore ratings are almost as high as the amount of money Ilya Kovalchuk will make this season.

NHL.com is never one to shy away from headlines about injuries to NHL superstars… but with Evgeni Malkin’s season coming to an end last week… they could have at least tried to make a pun of it.  

Top 3 Rejected Headlines
1. Center Geno-cide
2. Next of Kin
3. Rus-knee Business  

If you haven’t checked out the Evgeni Malkin soundboard, do so now.

And with one NHL player on his way out… 2 more ex-NHL’ers come back.   

File this one under nail-biter.  

Really, NHL.com? Forsberg Back?
If you are going to go that route, at least use this.

And finally, this weeks winner of the Punday Headline of the Week, Foreign or Domestic…  


Check out our brand-new Pundays Archive located just below the Royal Half banner at the top of the page. Or just use the handy-dandy “Pundays” sidebar on the right.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.