KNOW YOUR OPPONENT: THE NEW YORK ISLANDERS

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Ok, I know I said I would do a post for every Eastern Conference team, but I lied. Frankly, who the fuck cares about the Lightning or Devils anyway? I could barely find enough crap to say about the Sabres, let alone those two sad ass franchises. Since these Eastern Conference match ups are so rare, it’s often difficult to figure out just how to approach writing a post about them. That’s when our good old friend Google comes into play. Now, what kind of crazy things will come up when you Google the New York Islanders?

 

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Ah yes, the Islanders have a rich history of horrible jerseys.

iOh God these are just horrible. When will teams learn that grey just doesn’t work for jerseys?

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UGH. Just when thought that jersey couldn’t get any worse.

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How horrible is a bright orange jersey?
I mean what type of person would buy and wear something like this?

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Easily the worst member of Team TRH (Except for Jesse).

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Is it bad that I’m jealous of how nice the
Islanders Stadium Series jersey is compared to the Kings?

The Islanders apparently don’t just have a wonderful history of horrible jerseys, they also have a horrible history of ice girl uniforms.

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Just look at those awful things.

Why the fuck are the shoulders cut open? Is that on purpose?

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They made matching third jersey uniforms?

Jesus fucking christ.

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What is with all the laces?

I feel like whoever is making the ice girl outfits has some serious fetish with being tied up.

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That guy in the front row is trying so hard not to look because his wife would never let it go.

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I’m pretty sure we just found Spike’s dream girl.

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Dear God I thought the tacky shit ended with the jerseys!

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These are real shirts that were made and people bought them.

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Pumper Nicholl definitely owns this shirt.

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Did you know the Islanders have a mascot? Because I didn’t.

He’s also a dragon named Sparky, because there’s dragons on Long Island or something.

I don’t know I personally like their old mascot better.

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#bringbackfishsticks

In addition to all the wonderful things I’ve already shared, Google often slips in some rather interesting results in their search pages.

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Oh man, Ziggy Palffy you beautiful man.

Look at that luxurious hair, so pristine and perfect.

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There’s no way your marriage would fail miserably
when you use either of these as your cake topper, right???

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This might be my favorite Islanders fan ever.

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Just when you thought you had seen the last of Trent Hunter!

How bad were the Islanders that year that he was the assistant captain?

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I take back my previous statement, whoever got this tattoo is my favorite Islanders fan ever.

Honestly, it wouldn’t be a proper post without stupid tattoos,
and this might be the stupidest tattoo I’ve ever seen.

Bravo, Islanders fans you’re the best/worst at something! It must feel nice to be relevant again.

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Well, almost relevant.

One Girl One Puck is The Royal Half’s resident creeper. Her amazing posts, “Know Your Opponent“, have become a fan “favorite”. If any hockey player did anything stupid at any point of their life, and if someone was kind enough to take a picture, there’s a 100% chance she will put it in a post. She has been a Kings fan for over 15 years, even through the years when Jere Karalahti played “defense”.One Girl One Puck is also the co-founder of the hugely popular Tumblr page "Drew Doughty in Blue Jays Hats." It's exactly what you think it is. If you enjoy pointless posts about hockey players butts, she’s your girl!You can follow One Girl, One Puck on Twitter @OneGirlOnePuck.