TRH PLAYOFF RECAP GAME 1 – ST. LOUIS BLUES: QUICK AND THE DEAD

 

KINGS 1, BLUES 2 (OT)
JON QUICK, GAME WINNING ASSIST



*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF,
BUT RATHER PUMPERNICHOLL, OUR MASTER RECAPPER*

There's nothing quite like opening round playoff hockey in St. Louis on a Tuesday night. After years of toiling in mediocrity, the Blues have made it back to the playoffs for the second straight year and earned home-ice advantage against the defending Stanley Cup Champions.
 
It was the hardest ticket to get give away in town.
 
Blues fans are probably just tired of throwing their money away when the Kings come to town.
 

 
"I have to fucking work ballsac" might be the worst internship ever.
 
 
PREGAME:
 
It's the first round of the playoffs, so excuse both fan bases if their chirping is a little off at the beginning. Die-hard Kings and Blues fans know that they are represented by the best and brightest that the Internet has to offer. So let's see how everyone is feeling heading into the game. 
 
This man does not speak for Kings fans.
Everyone in LA knows that St. Louis is a peninsula.
 
Singing the blues sure has changed.
 
I've never been more scared … for a cat in my life.
 
You're easily distracted by bright colors?
 
The Midwest's best and brightest are ready.
 
Threatening TV stations on Twitter is essentially yelling on street corners, right?

Hahahahahahahahahaha

OK I shouldn't laugh, but this is just hilarious! I mean, these companies have plenty of outlets to air the different games. Thankfully this nonsense would never fly in a local market, much less the second-largest market in the United States.
 

WHOA. This escalated quickly. Let's just get to the game, shall we?
 
Two more? Fine. Just for you.
 
Blues fans, everyone!
1st PERIOD:
 

The game sta—-
 

Well, that was fast.
 
Alex Steen: BALLER
 
Alex Steen would not approve.

That's one way to describe a Canadian-born Swede.

Relax, everyone. This guy had eight goals all year. He's done for the night.
 
I don't think Alex Steen has ever been that excited about anything in his life.

The Blues continued their onslaught from the opening minutes and throughly outplayed the Kings for seemingly endless stretches. Luckily, the Kings had someone to watch their *sunglasses* back (and a blogger who shamelessly recycles jokes).

 
 
2nd PERIOD:
 
This is gonna go on for a while. Feel free to grab a drink.
 
*VIOLENTLY SNAPS OUT OF IT*
 
 
3rd PERIOD:
 
WHAT?! Oh, right. Back to the game.
 
You get the idea.
 
This once holier than thou netminder had returned! Quick was incredible and kept the Kings in a game that each player may as well have ponied up the $10 to watch from the front row. The Blues and their dozens of fans were completely frustrated. And Kings fans suddenly found themselves cheering for a man who hadn't won them a Stanley Cup in 10 months.
 
But the seconds continued to tick down to an inevitable mid-2012 Kings finish and there were only a few offensive flurries to offset Quick's stellar performance. Just when it seemed that all hope was lost…
 
U
 
 
 
Oh how rude! Allow me to introduce you to Justin and his close friend.
 
THAT IS VILE, DISGUSTING AND HURTFUL. NOTHING WILL TOP TH—
 
*sniff* You know how to cut to his core. *sniff*
 
 
The endless hatred being lobbed at a real saint meant only one thing: The Kings had tied the game and ruined another night for residents of St. Louis. Thus bringing the total to 49,925 consecutive terrible days for the city.
 
 
OVERTIME:
 
WELCOME TO OVERTIME PLAYOFF HOCKEY, EVERYONE! 
It's the best thing in sports.
Sudden death.
No one goes home until it's settled.
No commercials.
No breaks.
It's must see TV.
 
 
…unless there's a Clippers game on as well.
 
SOMEONE ACTUALLY LIKED THIS?!
 
Much better.
 
Many Kings and Clippers fans were irate at the Fox Sports West. Well, maybe not Clippers fans seeing as they could simply switch to TNT and see the game in it's entirety. But what were Kings fans to do? They yelled, kicked and screamed in between free throws and one-timers, without anyone actually doing something to rectify the problem.
 
I stand corrected.
 
Well at least someone is getting fired for this.
 
In the middle of #SplitScreenGate, Dustin Penner made his annual contribution by sacrificing his beautiful face for the greater good. Despite the Blues dominating play throughout the entire game, the Kings found themselves on a four minute powerplay in overtime. They literally figuratively had their collective foot on the Blues throat.
 
Kinda feels like a team of destiny, no?
 
That's a "no" then.

Jonathon Quick is being really hard on himself.

As long as you do it quick.

Quick should have played the body instead of the puck.

…it goes on like that for a while.
 
 
 
TRH THREE STARS OF THE NIGHT
 
3. Jonathan Quick
 
The reigning Conn Smythe winner was unbelievable in net last night. He turned aside 40 shots in a game where a mere mortal would have been pulled in the first period after allowing five goals. Quick routinely bailed his team out and kept them in a game they had no business winning.
 
2. Jonathan Quick Fans

Strong showing back home from the Kings faithful.

 
Somewhat rational.

Less rational.

This guy would still be an upgrade over Jamie Kompon.

Technically Quick didn't score the goal.
 
Milford, Connecticut: Home of Jonathan Quick and people who proudly reference animal abuse.
 
Kings fans, everyone!

Where did he go?

I know, right? Quick's historic season and playoff run were SO long ago.

Wait, don't we want Quick to stay in the crease? Make up your mind!

The morning after always offers a new perspective.
 
 
1. St. Louis Blues Fans

Let's not overreact now!
So I see that overreacting ship has sailed.
 
Never change, Blues fans.
 
…and never change, Kings fans.
 
 
 
PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games… and the Police Academy movies. You can follow him on Twitter.
The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.