Hand-Zeus

{iframe width=”448″ height=”336″ align=”top”}http://kings.nhl.tv/team/embed.jsp?hlp=8474563&event=L.A94{/iframe}
{iframe width=”448″ height=”336″ align=”top”} http://kings.nhl.tv/team/embed.jsp?hlp=8474563&event=L.A89{/iframe}

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Now imagine what Drew Doughty could have done had he been able to use BOTH his hands. That’s right, it was revealed today that Norris Trophy Nominee and Future Staples Center Statue, Drew Doughty, hurt his little hand in Game 1 of the playoff series against the Vancouver Canucks.

“No, I’m not going to go to World Championships. I’ve got a banged-up injury here. My hand is messed up. I messed up my hand in that series, so I’m going to take off the World Championships. … Nothing big. We don’t know what it is yet. We have to get an MRI and stuff like that, so we’ll see what happens. It was Game 1 that it happened. I just kept playing on it. The more I play on it, the worse it gets, so that’s why I’m taking off World Championships.”

And in other news… Peter Harrold broke his wrist in Game 3 so that’s why Randy Jones was re-inserted into the line-up. (Now you have your reason, LA Kings News!) WHAAAAAA! I BROKE MY WRIST! WHAAAAA! Get out there Harrold and play like a man… like 20 year old Drew Doughty! Drew may have revealed that the injury came in Game 1… but I think both you and I know how he really hurt his hand…

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Oh… and when you do a Google search for “Drew Doughty Hand”… one of the first hits is a piece of “Fan Fiction”about Drew Doughty having a baby with some crazy woman who watched him play in Juniors. You kinda have to read it to believe it.

“You up for some one-on-one?” I asked smiling. He nodded and skated towards me. He bent down and set the puck at center ice for the face-off. He counted to three and pushed the puck to me. I took it gladly and skated to the net behind him. He easily took the puck when he lifted my stick and he started to my net. What he didn’t know was that when I played with Thomas and his friends I was always put on defense. Quickly catching up to him I resumed skating backwards and was able to take the puck off his stick when he was trying to deke me out. Putting on the speed I quickly skated around him and shot the puck into the net. I slowed down as I reached the icing line but was run into by a panting Drew. He had me pinned against the boards his hands on either side of me.

“Holy crap…where did you learn that?” He mumbled breathing heavily his voice gruff. I leaned up and whispered, “It’s the advantage of playing D ever since I was 4” into his ear. He moaned lightly and his hips moved forward. I could feel his breath on my neck and the butterflies erupted in my stomach. He ran his lips from my neck to my ear nibbling gently. Then he kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheeks, and my chin before pressing his lips to mine. He slid his tongue into my waiting mouth and our groans intermixed. When he pulled away the look in his eyes was full of love and no longer the heartbreak from the month before.”

“Our Groans Intermixed” will now be the new name of every band I’m in.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.