FLUBBER’S NHL 14 PREVIEW – IT’S NOT IN THE GAME
The next installment of the NHL video game series from EA Sports is due out September 10th, and this past week the demo was available for download on all major consoles (here is a good time for those of you at home to make a WiiU joke). This year’s game has many of the same features as last year’s game, but the biggest change is an NHL 94 anniversary mode which is basically a hybrid between NHL 14′s normal gameplay with the addition of blue ice, an organ, and SUPER ARCADE MODE (aka penalties turned off). It’s totally not the same mode they released for NHL 06, nor the same game as NHL 94 for that matter, but OMG throwback unis and so forth.Overall, buy it if you have disposable income. Or give money to charity, what do I care?
There has, of course, already been some outcry associated with this totally relevant and conclusive video game. But, we’ll get to that in a second.
The greatest thing about the demo – and, thus, the game itself – is that it gives Kings fans a sneak peak at the newest member of their roster: Daniel Carcillo!
Cacillo is the fourth line center on the Chicago Blackhawks, which is peculiar because he is really a wing. Trading for Carcillo wouldn’t have made much sense if he was a center, anyway, since the Kings would never ever ever ever ever ever put a natural center at wing. But whatever. He’s listed as a 77 overall in the game, and is mired behind schlubs like Jonathan Toews and Michal Handzus on the depth chart. It’s a wonder Chicago ever won the division, let alone the Cup.
I could tell you about how awesome he is in the game, but why do that when I can show you! Here is a compilation of his greatest moments. Pay close attention to the first clip, which demonstrates his leadership skills reminiscent to those of Shane Doan, as he takes an Unsportsmanlike penalty with his team down three goals in the third period.
It’s obvious Dean Lombardi made the right decision grabbing this guy off of the scrap heap of awesome. Certainly the actual version of the game will have him on the Kings roster, because I wouldn’t want to have to write an angry letter to EA Sports.
Okay, now for the controversy. It seems our very own Drew Doughty – who, as a defenseman, scores goals like this – is only rated as an 88 in the game, despite being one of the highest paid defensemen in the league.
According to NHL 14, Drew Doughty is only the 46th-best player. Also, he shares his 88 rating with Dustin Byfuglien. http://t.co/5fvP8lqMd3
— Harrison Mooney (@HarrisonMooney) August 26, 2013
The only thing Drew Doughty and Dustin Byfuglien have in common is offseason waist size.
— PumperNicholl (@PumperNicholl) August 26, 2013
Au contraire, Pumper. Byfuglien and Doughty share more than just eating habits. You see, there is an easy metric that will put this controversy to rest. Is Drew Doughty ELITE enough?
You may be saying, “Flubber, saying something is ‘elite’ does not necessarily make it so. There is no objective scale in which something becomes ‘elite.’ In fact, the very word ‘elite’ has been bandied about so flippantly it has rendered it arbitrary and meaningless in discussions of sports and non-typewriting issues.” Let me lay a little truth on you. The NFL – and presumably EA Sports, as well – use this metric when determining what players are more important than others. Are you going to say the NFL is wrong? Didn’t think so.
Here’s an objective truth bomb: These ELITE players gain distinction as rarely failing when it matters, and when they do fail they are ridiculed and booed without mercy. How do they get to ELITE level? Easy: championships. No one denies this.
Is Tom Brady an elite quarterback? Yep. Is he MORE elite than Joe Flacco? You betcha. Is Andrew Luck an elite quarterback? How many championships has he won?
Using that example, let’s look at Doughty. How many championships has he won at the highest level of his sport? One.
How many championships has Dustin Byfuglien won at the highest level? One.
Elite perhaps, but not elite enough. Both players still have a ways to go to join the likes of Jaromir Jagr (2 Cups), Kelly Buchberger (2 Cups), Chris Dingman (2 Cups), and Joe Nieuwendyk (3 Cups), all which I assume had overall player ratings well over 90 on the NHL series of video games. Win another Cup, Doughty, then I’ll be impressed.
The bigger crime is if Dustin Penner isn’t at least rated a 90 overall. Why?
Ménage a trois? pic.twitter.com/apYAQZqz
— Dustin Penner (@Dustinpenner25) January 20, 2013