THE AMAZING RACE RECAP – EPISODE 2

Greetings Kings fans!  I’m (reluctantly) back again to recap Episode 2 of this seasons Amazing Race featuring Ally and Ashley from the LA Kings Ice Crew.

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Last episode ended with Ally and Ashley finishing in 6th place while Team Dowry finished 11th and were kicked off the show.

This weeks episode begins with an early morning race to the Museo Corbeta Esmerelda where the “Officer of the Day” will post the next clue.

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As the winners of the First Weeks Road Block (or whatever) Team Annoying is given a 2:52AM start time and because they’re both completely annoying this doesn’t seem to bother them at all.

TeamAnnoying002Ugh.  Just look at that stupid pink hair.  AREN’T THEY ANNOYING???

TeamER002 TEAM ER

TeamBirdcage002TEAM BIRDCAGE

TeamFootball002TEAM FOOTBALL 

TeamThisIsWhyImReallyWatchingTheShow002TEAM THIS IS WHY I’M REALLY WATCHING THE SHOW 

TeamProductPlacement010TEAM ADORABLE EVEN AT 3:20AM (FORMERLY TEAM PRODUCT PLACEMENT)

TeamWildAndCrazyGuys002TEAM WILD AND CRAZY GUYS

TeamKillMe002TEAM KILL ME

TeamHick002TEAM OKLAHOMA (FORMERLY TEAM HICK)

TeamSexy002TEAM SEXY

All003TEAM HOW THE VIEWERS AT HOME FEEL RIGHT ABOUT NOW

Naturally Team Annoying is first on the scene only to discover that the floating museum doesn’t even open until 7:15am, giving their competition roughly 4 hours to catch up to them….   which they all do because this thing is like 20 minutes away.

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So after all the nonsense of who finishes in which spot last week it turns out that it really only matters if you finish first or last.

 Hey Amazing Race…

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All ten teams run around the decks of this floating museum like lunatics looking for a famous quote from Arturo Prat…

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…until Ally and Ashley decide to take the advice of Allan F. Mogensen and “Work smarter, not harder” with Team Sexy right behind them.

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 ”Charge the ship, men” ???

That’s a famous historical phrase?

Hey Chile…

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Whatever.  Next the teams race off to a salt mine where they must choose to smash rocks until they find the next clue or add salt to shallow tubs of water until they can float.

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 To the suprise of absolutely nobody, Team Adorable Even When They Hold A Hammer Wrong isn’t terribly efficient at smashing large boulders.

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Once you decide to choose “Brining” over “Mining”, it’s revealed that you can’t switch back.  Ally & Ashley once again decide to to “Work Smarter, Not Harder” and make the switch, setting up the REAL contest in this weeks episode…

Which team has the most ridiculous bikini for doing manual labor?

THE CONTESTANTS

TeamKillMe003 TEAM MAYBE THEY’RE NOT SO BAD ( FORMERLY TEAM KILL ME)

TeamProductPlacement012TEAM ADORABLE EVEN WHEN THEY’RE CARRYING HUGE BAGS OF SALT

TeamThisIsWhyImReallyWatchingTheShow003TEAM THIS IS WHY I’M REALLY WATCHING THE SHOW

And the winner is…

113966TEAM HOME VIEWER!

The reward for all that Brining and Mining is a 24 hour bus ride to Santiago, Chile.

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I spent 12+ hours on a bus back when The Green Tortoise Adventure Travel bus company offered a Seattle to San Francisco commuter line.  There were kittens and musicians and we we all got high and went skinny dipping under the stars somewhere in Oregon.  It was magical.  It was wonderful.  It was horrible because it was over 12 hours stuck on a god damn bus.  I can’t IMAGINE the nightmare of spending 24 hours on a “regular” bus where there’s no kittens or weed or skinny dipping.

All008TEAM OKLAHOMA begins to suspect there are no kittens on their bus.

Once the 10 teams arrive in Santiago they must complete another task that highlights the proud Chilean culture and all it has to offer the globe.

Shining shoes.

TeamProductPlacement013TEAM ADORABLE EVEN WHEN THEY’RE SHINING SHOES

Once each team has shined the shoes of some random Chilean stranger they must pack up all their shoe shine junk and take their shoe shine carts to some shoe shine shack and I’ve just about had it with saying the words “shoe shine”.

TeamProductPlacement015This was actually filmed a few blocks from STAPLES Center after a Kings game.

Ultimately Team Birdcage winds up screwing themselves on multiple occasions and finishes 10th and are eliminated but Ally & Ashley manage to finish 7th and force me to watch at least one more episode.

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TEAM ADORABLE EVEN WHEN THEY’RE THE CALGARY FLAMES OF AMAZING RACE

Well Kings fans that’s the best of The Amazing Race!

Now here’s the worst.  A little segment I like to call

THE ANNOYING RACE!

Hey Tim & Marie…

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Of all the members of Team TRH Jesse Cohen probably comes closest to actually hating the Kings. Whether obsessing over the 1998 sweep at the hands of the St. Louis Blues, wishing he had witnessed the fight between Dmitri Khristich and Barry Potomski or cursing their attempts to fool the fans by dressing Randy Robitaille for 18 games, Jesse harbors a deep-seeded resentment towards the Kings.You can follow Jesse Cohen on Twitter @KingsMenPodcast.
  • Kate Willoughby

    I’ve never watched this show, but if the clip you showed is any indication of what I’ve been missing…? THANK YOU for your sacrifice. Your recaps are FAR more entertaining than the actual show.

    P.S. The boobs are usually uncovered in “Game of Thrones.” I’m just sayin’…

    • All The Kings Men

      Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth would totally win The Amazing Race.

  • FejsFuk Čekić

    lmao thx

  • FejsFuk Čekić

    i like this show but every season looks more staged than the last one and the casting for the last 5 -10 seasons really sucks ( except team kings logos on the breasts offcourse) / try to watch the first season it’s actually fun casting is much beter and it doesn’t look so staged / thanx jesse