PACIFIC WAR ROOM – 3.28.16

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In an effort to keep Los Angeles Kings fans aware of the comings and goings of the other teams in the Smythe Pacific Division… we here at The Royal Half have created the Pacific War Room… a wrap-up of the past week in the Pacific from some of the best and brightest bloggers who cover Pacific Division teams. In order of the Pacific Division standings… we present the Pacific War Room for the week of March 28th, 2016!!

 

LOS ANGELES KINGS
1st PLACE, 45-25-5, 95 POINTS
@TheRoyalHalf from The Royal Half

¯\_()_/¯

 

ANAHEIM DUCKS
2nd PLACE, 41-23-10, 92 POINTS
@EarlSleek

Well, not a great week for any of the California teams, and I’ll take full responsibility. After all, I irresponsibly posted this at the start of the week:

In the week that followed, Anaheim felt like it lost all of its games, and yet it managed to gain ground on the pertinent (California) portion of the Pacific standings.

On Tuesday, the Ducks went to Montreal, and though they did enter the third period tied 3-3, Lucas Lessio was able to score the lone third period goal for the Habs. That wasn’t ideal for Anaheim (boy I miss the year when the Ducks never lost one goal games in regulation!), but it did happen on the same night that the Sharks also lost a game in the third period and the Kings lost their second game in as many nights. Zero points gained, but zero points ceded in the race.

On Thursday, Anaheim played a crazy game against a team that inexplicably has given them trouble no matter where the teams sit in the standings. The Maple Leafs had a 4-1 lead before Anaheim scored four straight in about a half-period to pull ahead. That wouldn’t last, however, as the Leafs tied the game with their third power play goal of the night before winning in overtime 6-5. While that result also wasn’t ideal, it happened on a night where both the Sharks and Kings lost in regulation to Canadian opponents. Though the night ended in an ugly loss, one point gained in the race.

Then on Saturday, the Ducks went to Ottawa. Another crazy game in which the Senators led 3-0 after two periods, before Anaheim put together another multi-goal rally, potting three in the third period (including a Hampus game-tying goal with under a minute to play), then finished it off with a Rakell power play goal in overtime. Though it felt like a loss, a crazy third period and overtime turned it into a win. On this same night, the Kings also got two points, but the Sharks lost again. Points gained on one opponent, thanks to a web-footed comeback.

So even though the Ducks’ 1-1-1 week wasn’t really very special, with an uncharacteristic 13 goals allowed, it still was better than the Kings’ 1-3-0 week and the Sharks’ 0-3-0 week, which I suppose is really is the only measuring stick that matters this time of year. Hooray for relative success!

Anyways, since the NHL is going green, here’s some jokes I recently recycled! :)


 

SAN JOSE SHARKS
3rd PLACE, 41-28-6, 88 POINTS
@sharkdressedmen

WAITING TO BE SWEPT IN THE FIRST ROUND
 

ARIZONA COYOTES
4th PLACE, 34-34-7, 75 POINTS
@CataCarryOn

WAITING FOR THE DRAFT LOTTERY
 

CALGARY FLAMES
5th PLACE, 31-38-6, 68 POINTS
@MikeFAIL from Flames Nation

This past week: three losses and outscored 14-5. Is the draft here yet?

Give me two days of nonstop coverage where old white men use every literal adjective available to describe young men aspiring to live their dreams. Heck, give me words that mean absolutely nothing that get used anyway.

THAT PLAYER IS TABLESQUE. YOU COULD RELY ON HIM TO STAND STILL AND PUT CUPS AND PLATES ON HIM. HE WON’T BUDGE. HE’S THE NEXT DAN GIRARDI COMBINED WITH AN IKEA TABLE.

ONE TIME DOWN IN MOOSE JAW, BEFORE THIS KID MADE JUNIOR, I SAW HIM OPEN A JAR OF JAM WITH HIS THIGHS. GOT JAM THIGHS THAT KID DOES. GONNA MAKE A TEAM PROUD.

Besides the losses that effectively killed most of the remaining joy in the season: Mark Jankowski’s season and collegiate career is over. Now begins the hype train, further tire pumping, and ignoring of important details because they don’t align with “my” way of thinking. Maybe he achieves the incredibly ceiling that many project (third-line centre) or maybe he becomes more? The opportunity to proceed with caution and remain skeptical is a very key piece of advice here.

In the grand scheme of things there are numerous things that are more important than Mark Jankowski. Like the salary cap situation, or a goalie, or buying out Dennis Wideman, or even re-signing Jakub Nakladal. Though, we can throw those by the wayside, right? Perhaps we should all cock our heads upwards during the hype-filled rain storm, open our mouths, and collectively drown under the hype pouring down. Maybe he’ll make Mikael Backlund replaceable*? I mean we’ve heard that one before.

It’s easy to assume that none of this would be happening if John Weisbrod and Jay Feaster didn’t pump this kid’s tires so much. Fortunately we live in Brad Treliving world now and I’m sure he’ll continue to do sensible things (including this Jankowski contract situation). And hey, Vancouver has to deal with Weisbrod and that is the sweetest thing to remember. Every morning I wake up, look out the window, and say: “Man, John Weisbrod is really going to fuck the Canucks isn’t he?”**

God bless Mikael Backlund, Michael Frolik, TJ Brodie, and Jakub Nakladal. You make my lives so much more enjoyable.
* – God bless birthday boy Book of Loob for sharing these traumatizing taeks
** – He is totally screwing that team up with Bim Jenning

 

VANCOUVER CANUCKS
6th PLACE, 27-35-13, 67 POINTS
@JDylanBurke from Canucks Army

WAITING FOR THE DRAFT LOTTERY

EDMONTON OILERS
7th PLACE, 30-41-7, 67 POINTS
@JSBMjeanshorts from Oilers Nation

The Oilers played some games. The Oilers lost most of those games. THE OILERS BEAT THE SHARKS THOUGH!

Patrick Maroon continues to be the best trade Peter Chiarelli has ever made (and maybe will ever make).

Gene Principe got his usual welcome to California.

Canadian hockey broadcasts continued to be…. unique (Watch an all new episode of Schitt’s Creek, Tuesdays on CBC).

And, oh yeah, Connor McDavid continues to be AMAZING! He’s in the middle of a seven game point streak, which has seen him put up 1 goal and 9 assists (HE’S REALLY GOOD AT SHARING YOU GUYS). He sits 4th in rookie scoring, with 45 points in 41 games, just 5 points back of (forever) second place Jack Eichel. And if members of the PHWA were smart Connor would moonwalk away with the Calder at this point, but they’re not so congratulations to almost-30-year-old Artemi Panarin on being able to get the puck to freakin’ Patrick Kane a bunch of times this year *non-stop wanking motion*. All we’ll have are the memories of Connor doing things like this

and this

All while striking fear into his lowly opponents.

But hey, I’m sure we’ll all remember where we were that time Panarin chipped the puck up to Kane and then made sure to stay out of the way while Kane had his way with a team as if they were a drunk sorority sister. What was I talking about again? HAPPY EASTER!
 

TRH WILD CARD WATCH™

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Thanks to all the amazing Pacific Division Bloggers. Check back next week for another edition of Pacific War Room! You can check out past editions of Pacific War Room here!

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.