Divine Right of Kings: A History

“People are strange,” said Jim Morrison in 1967.

They exist in the present, put their hope in the future but can’t forget the (recent) past:

Sometimes they don’t understand the present, choose to predict the future, and completely disregard the past:

We certainly know Darryl Sutter is strange, but I didn’t come here to talk about him. I came here to talk about the latter of the three time frames mentioned above: the past – history – and why it’s essential for us to be at least familiar with it.

The study of history helps us understand who we are and how we’ve changed over time. History provides context for how people came to think and behave a certain way and can also be used as a predictor of how they’ll interact with others. Though Marty St. Louis Napoleon Bonaparte took a more cynical view when he declared, “What is history but a fable agreed upon,” I am a firm believer that it can be a tremendous tool in providing answers for how we got to where we are today.

We’ve arrived at the beginning of November. The Kings are 7-4 having overcome a rocky start. The locker room looks significantly different than it has in recent history. We’re still growing accustomed to new players, line combinations and defensive pairings. Now is the time to take a step back and peak into the past of some of the players on the roster so that we might more fully comprehend the dynamic of this somewhat new Kings team.

Since we here at TRH never take liberties with anything, I thought an introductory analysis on what was happening in the world (read: Los Angeles) when some of our favorite players were born would be a good starting point. After a few minutes hours of research on the internet I’m pretty confident that I’ve found enough historically relevant pop cultural correlations to help us understand the Kings roster more fully.

Did you know…

This Used to be My Playground” by Madonna was the number one song on the Billboard charts when Tanner Pearson was born? Before maturation led to a career (too soon?) on the first line, how could we ever forget his original playground with the Kings, his childhood dream on the second line? Although we’re admittedly thrilled by what the TLC line is producing, we’d be remiss in failing to acknowledge that the historical context of Pearson’s birth must have prepared him to one day bid the second line adieu. I don’t doubt that the nostalgia he feels when looking back on his days on That ’70s Line, causes him to ponder, “Why did it have to end?”

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“And why do they always say, ‘no regrets'”

Moving on.

Just 10 days before Anze Kopitar made his earthly debut, Can’t Buy Me Love was hitting theaters to mixed reviews. This charming film told the story of the nerdy yet sincere Ronald Miller who pays the venerated Cindy Mancini $1,000 to go out with him so he can secure station among the high school bourgeoisie. While real-life yuppies like Cindy ruled the roost in the ’80s, the stock market crash of 1987 (just 2 months after Kopitar was born) was the beginning of the end of this nauseating money-centric mentality.

But here we are, 28 years later witnessing contract negotiations between a man who knows his own worth and a man who seeks to prove that you can’t put a dollar amount on the love of a franchise.

"I don't care too much for money...."

“I don’t care too much for money….”

Meanwhile in book sales….

The One Minute Manager was a New York Times Bestseller when Matt Greene was born. Greene has been the Kings alternate captain since 2008. Although he’s suffered multiple injuries that have definitely hurt his ice time, he plays with heart and leads by example both on and off the ice. When describing Greene, Jim Fox said, “I see Matt every day around the guys in the locker room…he sets a tone. What he does for this team goes way beyond skill level. He just goes that extra mile to set the tone.”

More like One Second Manager AMIRITE?

In this Jeff Carter Alternate Captain Era™ let us all remember that the book is called One Minute Manager not, Greene was Once a Manager Who Played a Few Minutes in the 2015-16 Season….

#WeAreAllWorried

In scarier correlation discovery news….

Tim Burton’s Batman was number one at the box office when Dwight King was born. No explanation needed here.

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“You can call me….Joker. And as you can see, I’m a lot happier.”

For all you waitresses working in cocktail bars…

Christian Ehrhoff has played for a handful of teams, experiencing highs and lows in both his health and performance over the years. Most recently he’s bounced from one one-year contract to another. The defenseman isn’t fazed by this reality though. And you want to know why? The number one synthpop hit, Don’t You Want Me (Baby) could be heard on radios all over the world when Ehrhoff was born, and this alone bred an unperturbed confidence that would carry him through many trials and tribulations. In July of this year his agent told Pro Hockey Talk, “[Ehrhoff] doesn’t mind having the flexibility of a single-year commitment… He’s confident in his ability to provide a valued role to the right team.”

Don’t, don’t you want me?
You know I don’t believe you
When you say that you don’t need me.

Ugh. The Kings desperately needed a defenseman so they picked up Ehrhoff. And let’s be real, there’s no one who looks like he should be in a ’80s synthpop music video about a manipulative and stalkerish ex-boyfriend than this guy:

Don’t you want me BABY? Don’t you want me OHHHHHH?

Last but not least….

Had Instagram been around when Mr. and Mrs. Toffoli welcomed baby Tyler into the world, your feed would have been filled with more pictures captioned, “Our pride and joy” than you’d have been able to stomach.

Who am I kidding, LAQueenofmeme is more than making up for it with digital compositions that make our bosoms swell with pride:

glitter-toffoli

Never mind that his chemistry with Carter is otherworldly.

Never mind that PumperNicholl is already saving up for a future purchase.

Never mind that he is probably the nicest person on the Kings roster.

Tyler Toffoli has taken risks, made a name for himself and attained League-wide admiration. You know who else did this? Douglas Dorsey in The Cutting Edge, a film that was changing the ice-rink landscape in April, 1992 when our pride and joy took his first breath.

Does Dorsey attain Olympic Gold? Can Toffoli continue to lead the Kings in scoring? Find out this season with….

Toffoli Cutting Edge

Tooooooooooe Pick

 

A Post Script….

I know we’ve already given Madonna way too much publicity in this post but it’s worth noting that in January, 1985, Like a Virgin became Madonna’s first album to attain the number one spot on the Billboard charts. I’ll give you one guess as to who was born in January, 1985…

“My imagination will get me a passport to hell one day.” - John Steinbeck/Shawnze Kopitar

“My imagination will get me a passport to hell one day.”- John Steinbeck/Shawnze Kopitar

After hearing a female Kings fan shriek, “C’mon Kopi, make a goal!” in 2010, Shawnze rolled up her sleeves and set out to rebrand the notion of lady hockey fan in the streets and Late Romantic Era classical music devotee in the sheets. She has a Masters Degree in Sports Management (no really, it’s a thing) which means she’s really good at paying for things she’ll never use, and credits her dad’s lucky red shorts (and Trevor Lewis) for the success of the Kings’ Cup run in 2012. You can follow Shawnze Kopitar on Twitter @ShawnzeKopitar.