Bark Madness: And the Winner Is…
Jim Ross: Let me just say, it is an honor to host the championship round of Bark Madness! Wrestemania XXXI and Bark Madness in one week, how could it get any better? And business is about to pick up here with these dogs. It’s the championship round, no more time for talk, here it is Kings fans. Time to announce your champion!
A little background before we crown the top dog: Gustl, one of two last dogs standing, defeated Bo Carter in the Sweet 16, then threw Mack Carter over the top rope in the Elite Eight, and put the smack down on Arnold Richards in the Final Four. Meanwhile, Reggie Doughty, the challenger, piledrove Harley Clifford out of the tournament, defeated Milo – member of the New Age Goldendoodles without any intervention from Gustl – and beat the baby-faced young upstart Bruno Toffoli to meet Gustl in this final showdown. All I want to know is if this tournament is sanctioned by Westminster?
But if you have been following along all tournament, you knew this had potential to be a good ol’ fashioned slobberknocker. No. 1 versus No. 2! Mano a mano … err, dog-o a dog-o. GUSTL AND REGGIE! GUSTL AND REGGIE! ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE!
How do you pick a winner?! Both dogs have shown incredible strength and perseverance to get to the final round. Vince McMahon himself could not have scripted a better tournament. And I just can’t take it any more…WILL SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN TOURNAMENT?!
GET READY NHL UNIVERSE. HERE’S THE WINNER, HERE’S YOUR NEW CHAMPION! THE PRINCE OF KINGS IS NOW THE KING OF DOGS!
HE’S DONE IT! GUSTL IS THE CHAMPION! GUSTL THE DOG! GUSTL THE DOG! GUSTL THE DOG!
YOU’VE DONE IT, KINGS FANS! THE ‘DOODLE WINS THE TITLE BELT! Err, TITLE COLLAR!
WHAT DID WE JUST SEE? WHAT DID WE JUST SEE? IS THAT REAL? GUSTL THE DOG IS THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!
*lights go dark*
Wait a minute… What’s going on here?
What… WHAT’S THAT?!?!
Is that… No, NO IT CAN’T BE!
BAH GOD! THAT’S RICHARDS’ MUSIC! THAT’S RICHARDS’ MUSIC!!!
WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
OH FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD! THERE HE IS! THERE’S ARNOLD!
ARNOLD RICHARDS, BRINGING HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE! HE WANTS REVENGE! HE WANTS GUSTL! HE WANTS ANYONE IN HIS WAY!
WHY?! DAMMIT, TELL ME WHYYYY!
*screen fades to black*
Note from Team TRH
Talk about stompin’ a mudhole and walkin’ it dry, Gustl beats Reggie in convincing fashion to win the Bark Madness championship!
But the true champions are those of you who have voted and donated throughout the tournament! Your response has been amazing; we received nearly 12,000 votes over the course of the tournament. We also hope you took a moment to donate to Wags and Walks. In honor of Gustl Kopitar’s victory, Team TRH will be making a donation in his name.
For those who don’t know, Wags and Walks is a local dog rescue who rescue family-friendly, healthy dogs from being euthanized in Los Angeles shelters with the hope of adopting to the families whose homes and lifestyles are a perfect fit for a particular dog. In 2014 alone, they placed over 500 dogs in loving homes.
Wags and Walks is a small non-profit who works off of donations. If you’d like to join us in supporting Wags and Walks, you can donate at: http://www.wagsandwalks.org/donate
You can also support Wags and Walks further by buying tickets to their 4th Annual “Muttin’ But Love Gala” on Friday, April 24th at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. Rumors of a Gustl/Reggie appearance are false, but there will be a silent auction. If you’re interested in going, you can purchase tickets at http://www.wagsandwalks.org/gala.
So for Gustl, Reggie, Bo, Mack, Miley, Arnold, Sunny, Thor, Hank, Bruno, Prince, Habs, Milo, Trevor Lewis’ Dog, Nick Shore’s Dog, and our friends at Fox Sports West, thanks for all of your votes, and please give what you can!