Bark Madness: Final Four
Rece Davis: And then there were four… Welcome back, everyone, as we recap the thrilling Elite Eight and preview the Final Four. First, let’s take a look at the updated bracket.
Davis: The top seeds remain, but we have two dogs that pulled off upsets to make it to the semifinal round! Now, let’s bring in Dick Vitale to see if he can make any sense of this madness.
Dick Vitale: Uh oh, Rece. UH OH! These upsets prove, once and again, that anything can happen once the Big Dance starts. THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT BARK MADNESS, RECE! These performances by Arnold and Bruno have me feeling like a little kid again! And then seeing what Gustl and Reggie are doing. I mean, forget about it! The big dogs are taking care of business, Rece. THEY’RE TAKING CARE OF BUSINESSSSSSS!
Davis: *puts down crossword puzzle* Are you surprised with how easily Gustl was able to make it through?
Vitale: Gustl is a beast! A B-E-A-S-T! But that doesn’t take away from what Mack, Miley and Bo were able to accomplish here in this Tournament. AND DON’T BELIEVE ANYONE IF THEY TELL YOU OTHERWISE! You hear me? Look, five years ago, none of these three pups would even be sniffing at this Tournament! Not. A. Sniff. Now you’re telling me one of them made it all the way to Elite Eight?! The Carter dogs are changing the way the game is being played, baby! I can’t wait to see what kind of damage they’ll be able to do next year!
Davis: Um, OK… And how about the upset that Arnold was able to pull off against Sunny?
Vitale: I have people on the street coming up to me and saying, “I don’t know how he’s done it, but Arnold somehow snuck in to the Final Four!” SNUCK IN?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! This pup’s got all the tools, baby! ALL OF THEM! He’s the ultimate glue dog. Glue dogs aren’t superstars. They’re not the No. 1 option. They just do things only coaches really appreciate. The stars get the headlines, but glue dogs help you get in the winner’s circle. I don’t think you can win without having that kind of dog. And I wouldn’t be shocked, NOT FOR ONE MINUTE, if Arnold pulled the upset against Gustl.
No. 1 Gustl Kopitar
No. 5 Arnold Richards
Davis: So, who you got in the Gustl-Arnold showdown?
Vitale: In the Sweet 16 and Elite Eight it was all about about Gustl. He Gu-stole the show, baby! I don’t know if Arnold can slow him down, but this is definitely the first time that Gustl looks vulnerable.
Davis: *updating resume* On the other side of the bracket, we have Bruno, the freshman phenom, advancing to take on fan favorite Reggie. Any surprises for you on this matchup?
Vitale: Bruno? HOW ABOUT BRU-YES! This diaper dandy has all the tools, baby! He’s unbelievable! CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Some people said the committee was too hard on the kid by putting him up against Hank in the first round. Well, guess what? THE KID ANSWERED THE CALL! And now he is FIRE! SOMEBODY CALL UP THE FIRE CHIEF TO PUT OUT THE FIRE, RECE!
Davis: Uh, yeah, I’ll get right on that… What are your thoughts on Reggie’s Tournament so far?
Vitale: Oh, oh, oh, Reggie! REGINALD! He’s flat out scary, Rece. This pup has been doing things that I didn’t know were possible. I think he’s the best dog that this Tournament has seen in a long time, and people are not appreciating what he’s been doing! It’s been all Gustl this, Gustl that. I know people don’t want to hear me talk about Reggie. Hey, so what? I’m talking about him because he deserves to be talked about! He’s been brilliant the way he’s playing right now! And if he were on the other side of the bracket, I GUARANTEE YOU THAT GUSTL WOULD NOT MAKE THE FINAL!
No. 2 Reggie Doughty
No. 11 Bruno Toffoli
Davis: Wow! So who are you taking in the Reggie-Bruno matchup?
Vitale: What Bruno has done in these past two rounds is UNBELIEVABLE! It’s the greatest achievement I’ve ever witnessed in all my years of being a coach and a television personality! I really, absolutely have been blown away. But Reggie is awesome with a capital “A.” And I don’t see anything, anyone or ANY DOG stopping him!
Davis: Thanks for the analysis, Dick. But it’s up to you, the fans, to decide which dogs move on to the Championship Round! Voting will be open until midnight (PDT) on March 26. Then we’ll be back Friday morning to set up the Final.
And Bark Madness was featured on the Fox Sports West airwaves yet again! Check it out: