TRH RECAP 4: Seriously Though?

EDM_RECAP

KINGS 6, OILERS 1

If you didn’t have a chance to see what came of the Oilers first display of irrelevancy of the 2014-2015 (in Southern California), let me put it this way: it got so bad, that rookie Tanner Pearson, one-third of the much ballyhooed That 70s Line™, stopped celebrating after goals were scored.

While Edmonton summoned rookie Darnell Nurse to bolster its – er…beleaguered? – defense corps, it was clear very that they would have been better off summoning a priest.

YEAH!!!!! I WENT THERE!!!!

As the rest of #TeamTRH was enjoying The Royal Half Society of Drunkards and Pseudonyms Night in a box high above the ice, I settled down on a third-hand couch, while my mutts eyed me suspiciously in the corner; angling for the right time to plead for butt rubs and fistfuls of milk bones that is my calling card.

If the Kings were going to take advantage of the fact that two of Edmonton’s top players, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and and Jordan Eberle, were unavailable to play, they did so in spades.

Good Morning

The three goals in the first gave the Kings a commanding lead. This was followed by two in the second, and another in the third – which were frankly unnecessary – and it had me wondering why the NHL doesn’t consider a running clock in situations like this. While the Kings were simply dominant throughout the game, the level of competition in their first two wins was obviously subpar. A blowout loss to San Jose, followed by a lackluster performance to the Arizona Coyotes, were early signs of a completely justifiable Stanley Cup hangover. Follow-up performances against Winnipeg and Edmonton proved nothing more than the Kings are really good at beating really bad teams.

Alas, the season is young.

I know that I may have gone a little overboard by suggesting that the Winnipeg Jets be relegated to the WHL, considering I failed to mention that Evander Kane was missing and they were playing their backup goalie, so I’ll hold off on implying that the Edmonton Oilers would fit nicely into the WHL’s Central Division, where they would no longer have to convince hockey fans that the Oilers and the Oil Kings were COMPLETELY SEPARATE ENTITIES.

I won’t lie, this game was pretty fun to watch. I never get over the three blasts of the goal horn every damn time the Kings score. I will admit, however, that around goal four, I started audibly asking “really?” while chuckling to myself as my dogs looked at me awkwardly.

Tyler Toffoli had perhaps the goal of this young season with his shorthand toe-drag snipe over poor Viktor Fasth, who promptly removed himself from the game.

Roofed It

In Fact, That 70s Line™ combined for an absurd seven points, with Carter and Toffoli adding a goal and an assist, to go with Pearson’s two goals and an assist. All of this, of course, has made me wonder: “When will That 70s Line™ jump the shark?” When Jeff Carter, the grizzled veteran, is the one celebrating hardest after any tally, you know that something’s up. Add the amount of times that the phrase is used by the Kings on the graphics or in the broadcast, and you have one suspicious writer…

Following Fasth’s departure, Ben Scrivens entered to the game. Not that he wanted to. It was nice hearing Kings fans celebrate his return to Staples Center, but not as nice to hear the “Scrivvvvvv-ennnnnns” after he gave up two goals.

The third period was almost completely dedicated to Jonathan Quick’s quest for the shutout. Had he done so, he would have tied Rogie Vachon for most shutouts in a Kings uniform. But with 21 seconds left in the game, Matt Hendricks tucked the puck in-between Quick’s pads, prompting me to shut my computer and storm out of the residence.

Beer of the Game

Red Hook Audible Ale. My neighbor first bought me a 12-pack of this stuff after he drunkenly pushed me into a thornbush as I attempted to (drunkenly) urinate said bush. It wasn’t my proudest moment.

Random Thoughts

  • Andy Andreoff fighting on his first shift was nice. His smile as he skated to the penalty box was downright heart warming. It’s nice to see that he’s achieved his dream of being a fourth line agitator in the NHL.
  • Was the Kings broadcast instructed to get goofier this season?
  • The Jack in the Box stoner commercials really are a thing of beauty.
  • If the Tyler Toffoli’s nickname isn’t Grizzly Adams, it should be Pinkie.

Random – Yet Relevant – Link I found During Intermission

What’s better than Slava Voynov beating the crap out of Paul Byron?

…The insistence of the Monarchs to let the Beastie Boys ride for another 30 seconds.

John Siegel is a lunatic who writes about hockey, east coast bias, and content marketing. He rarely takes anything seriously, there's a good chance he's drinking right now. You can follow him on Twitter @JVNSiegel but you probably shouldn’t.
  • Carlos Chavez

    Awe. Baby Slava is cute.