TRH RECAP – CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS ROUND 3 GAME 3: SEVENTY HEAVEN
BLACKHAWKS 3, KINGS 4
The start of the game made me nervous.
You see, I’m a guitarist, and as Slash muddled his way through the National Anthem, it was clear something was wrong with his rig. He didn’t have nearly enough gain dialed in, meaning that his notes were sorely lacking sustain.
Would the Kings be lacking sustain, or would they continue the pushback they displayed in the final period of Game 2? I fervently hoped they could, as I watched Slash’s deflated pectoral “muscle” slowly sag its way out of his leather vest.
The game got underway, and there was an unmistakable crackling energy inside Staples Center… that was promptly squashed by a shorthanded goal by Toews about 5 minutes into the game. Thankfully, I only had to clench my jaw and squeeze my fist in anger for about 50 seconds before Slava Voynov woke up and remembered how to put the biscuit in the baboushka.
At this point, after watching the Kings shrug off a potentially morale-sucking SHG by answering with a goal of their own less than a minute later, I knew that this team either had the heart of a champion or I had taken a hallucinatory dose of Immodium A-D.
Toews got another one before the first period ended, but for the first time I wasn’t overly worried by the score. I had seen something in these Kings that, to be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure they possessed until after Game 7 of the Ducks series.
This team believes it’s going to win the Stanley Cup this year.
The rest of the game, besides the final five seconds, was an absolute clinic by the Kings, but it was also something more than that. They didn’t just play well, they played hungry. Tanner Pearson was skating up the ice like he was being chased by a horde of White Walkers with Ryan Getzlaf’s face. Jarret Stoll was forechecking with the kind of effort he usually reserves for enthusiastically taking offensive zone penalties. Jake Muzzin played 24 minutes without doing anything that made me want to stick a pin in his voodoo doll. Alec Martinez was so into the game, he pulled a Dustin Brown and forgot how to ingest liquid.
The Kings won this game despite being slightly out-Corsi’d by Chicago, with only Voynov, Clifford, Stoll, Mitchell, and Pearson finishing with a CF% over 50%. Hey, that Pearson kid isn’t half bad! It’s just too bad nobody realized that earlier on in the season.
Non-joke tweet: I'm loving Tanner Pearson's game right now.
— King Tufficult (@KingTufficult) November 20, 2013
The Boogie Nights Line, aka That 70′s Line, aka Squinty Magoo and the Speedy Two, aka Sexy and Sons have points in four straight game (each individual player!) – not even John Travolta was scoring this much in the 70′s.
Buckle up, Kings fans. This postseason isn’t ending anytime soon. Two more wins to shave those mutton chops off of Toews’ face, and six more wins until The Royal Half changes his twitter icon for another season.
TUFFICULT’S TOP TWEETS: GAME 3 EDITION
Blackhawks playing the Kings is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me
— Brenna ❁✝ (@brennamcguire_) May 25, 2014
I remember saying last yr that playing the Blackhawks was like playing a swarm of bees. Apparently, the Kings turned into those bees.
— Lance Davis (@adioslounge) May 25, 2014
Psh, the Kings are way better than the B’s!
Don't even ask me what the fuck the blackhawks have been doing.
— (@FvLL3R) May 25, 2014
congrats to the @LAKings for winning their 3 game series vs the blackhawks and then winning the Stan Cup next Fuck you.
— NO KETCHUP (@Pile_of_Derp) May 25, 2014
Nice 40% hustle Seabs. Lazy fuck.
— Dan (@go_blackhawks) May 25, 2014
"Well, at least we didn't let them score on the power pl- WHAT THE FUCK." – Me, to no one in particular. #Blackhawks
— Megan Dagger (@megobits) May 25, 2014
Fuck you bandwagon kings fucks. Can't wait for the blackhawks to fuckin kill you
— liam nunes (@liamnunes7d) May 25, 2014
Who the fuck keeps whistling when the Blackhawks enter the #lakings' zone and why?? Obnoxious much?
— Gray (@icky_names) May 25, 2014
Bleed you ugly fuck! We need 4 minutes.. 2 isn't enough. #Blackhawks
— John (@j0hnw0lf) May 25, 2014
Just watched two female Blackhawks fans cut the whole Wetzel’s Pretzel’s line and piggy back their order with a stranger. Go the fuck…
— Meg Jarrell (@Meg_Jarrell) May 25, 2014
neighbor heard the #Blackhawks game on and yelled "GO KINGS" so I told him to fuck off. eh I'm going back to Penn State tomorrow anyways.
— James Choi (@JChoi182) May 25, 2014
That 70's Line will carry a $6.725 Million cap hit next season. That would be the 30th biggest cap hit for one player. 29th is Joe Thornton.
— All The Kings Men (@KingsMenPodcast) May 25, 2014
This wouldn't be happening to the Chicago Blackhawks if Patrick Sharp was still alive.
— PumperNicholl (@PumperNicholl) May 25, 2014
Until Game 4, Kings fans.
-King Tufficult (@KingTufficult)