KNOW YOUR 2ND ROUND OPPONENT: The Anaheim Ducks


KnowYourOpponent(ANH)v

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Corey Perry examining where his groin used to be.

Man, it feels good to be back! After that sexual series win against the Sharks, I’ve finally found my pants and I’m ready to talk about the Kings new opponent, the Anaheim Ducks.

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SoCal Playoff hockey! Catch the fever!

This Kings-Ducks series marks the first time two Southern California teams have ever played each other in the playoffs, and everyone is circle jerking to it. Personally, I could give a shit, as the Ducks are pieces of dried stool on the sidewalk. So instead of jacking off to this series, I’ll just talk about how much the Ducks jack off with each other.

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Yea, just like that Ryan. Get him right in the face.

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“Hehe you said jerking off”

Shut up, Corey Perry, you derpy faced fuck. Everyone hates you and hopes you choke on your own dick.

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“How can I choke on something so small? Hehe!!”

That is true Corey, you make a valid point.

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The Royal Half: Come for the dick jokes, stay for the dick jokes.

Honestly, the only person who likes Corey Perry is Ryan Getzlaf, and Ryan likes him A LOT.

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I bet Corey misses the smell of the overly jelled hair in the morning.

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It is true what they say, the couple that dresses like douche bags together, stays together.

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I should introduce you to my good friend, Dustin Brown.

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There is something very unsettling about the way Corey Perry is biting his finger here.

I NEED AN ADULT!

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“You like when I tap you with my stick, Corey?”

Oh god you guys! I’m so disturbed right now! WHAT HAVE I STUMBLED ON?? At least they keep all that weird shit in Orange County and away from people that matter.

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NO GOD NO!!!!

Canada v Russia

NO JEFF! RUN AWAY RUN AWAYYYYY!

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WHAT ARE YOU DOING DREW??? STOP!!!

God I hope the failure and disappointment didn’t rub off on them.

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EAT

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SHIT

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MOTHER

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FUCKER

Nothing brings me life like sad Corey Perry. The only thing else that even comes close is stupid Ducks fan art.

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Hey, that should be a shirt!

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Watch out, Indiana Matt!

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Ducks fans promote gang violence, you guys!

The Ducks logo and angled stripes also translate really well to a soda can, bravo.

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Once you get through the broken English, you can see an idiot.

I can’t wait for this series to start, mostly so we can finally see if the Ducks actually have fans for me to offend.

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If not, I can always just shit on Corey Perry, I’m sure he probably likes that though.

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Yea, he likes it.

One Girl One Puck is The Royal Half’s resident creeper. Her amazing posts, “Know Your Opponent“, have become a fan “favorite”. If any hockey player did anything stupid at any point of their life, and if someone was kind enough to take a picture, there’s a 100% chance she will put it in a post. She has been a Kings fan for over 15 years, even through the years when Jere Karalahti played “defense”.One Girl One Puck is also the co-founder of the hugely popular Tumblr page "Drew Doughty in Blue Jays Hats." It's exactly what you think it is. If you enjoy pointless posts about hockey players butts, she’s your girl!You can follow One Girl, One Puck on Twitter @OneGirlOnePuck.