FREEWAY FARCE: Playoffs Week 3



FreewayFarce900

 

Playoffs Week 3 (Apr 28 – May 4)

Los Angeles Kings (Reverse Swept San Jose, Leading Anaheim 1-0)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the LA Kings:

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Pretty exciting week

#KurzCurse:

Freeway Farce favorite, and gernulist, Kevin Kurz dropped this tweet during game four of the Sharks/Kings series:

and here’s what followed, over the remainder of the series:

Rewind just a bit. Before the Sharks completed their choking, Kevin Kurz did a bit of choking of his own. Here is Dustin Brown following game 6, in which Joe Thornton received a penalty for kneeing him:

And here is what happened to that quote when it was Kurzified:

Kevin Kurz is the beat writer that Sharks fans deserve.

#BloggerBeef, About That Marian Gaborik Trade:

Here’s the problem with expressing an opinion: sometimes it can come back to bite you in the ass.

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Let’s say that a player you said a team overpaid for went on to look great for his new team:

GetzlafKingsFan

 

And let’s say that there is somebody who likes to needle you when said opinions turn out to be wrong:

That would be a bummer.

GCF – Gann Creep Factor:

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I’ll give him a GFC of 4.5 for his effort, but a combined total of 8.75 for him and his tag team partner in this round.

 

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (Defeated Dallas 4-2, Trailing L.A. 1-0)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim:

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Ducks fans are still in a bit of shock about how game one ended.

The Worst of the Worst from @ducksfanzone:

Not sure their “style” of play is really what differentiates Drew Doughty and Bryan Allen.

And some advice to Kings fans: Jeff Schultz and Matt Greene will be starting game two for your team, so let’s step back on the Bryan Allen trashing.

L.A. Queens (GET IT!?!?!?!?!?):

You guys want to see something funny?

Get it?

Because they’re actually called the “Kings.”

But Ducks fans like to change it to “Queens.” Because … um … ???

It’s demeaning to refer to somebody as a woman?

Or because “queen” was slang for “homosexual” 40 years ago?

 

Either way, it’s hilarious. Look …

 

Wait. I may have screwed up my twitter search.

I do think of this commercial every time a Ducks fan trots out that joke though:

IT’S QUEEN TO MAKE IT FUNNY!

Feeling Kinda Hazy:

NBC, in their infinite wisdom(indifference, bordering on contempt, for west coast fans), assigned noted Ducks homer, Brian Hayward to the Kings-Ducks playoff series. The reviews have been mixed.

We’re coming back to that guy in a bit.

I don’t know about that. Here is an actual excerpt from Tyson Nash’s (Coyotes analyst) Wikipedia page:

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Look, I’m sure Kings fans are just overreacting.

Oh, never mind.

 

SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Worst Opposing Tweeter*:

Kings: @BuckyHermit

Here’s the basic breakdown: 50% awful jokes, 50% confusing jokes. A sampling:

Ducks: Surly and Scribe

The Kings reverse swept the Sharks. The fan base was in a state of euphoria. Seemingly nothing could bring them down.

But then, this:

A piece of writing so atrocious, it warranted an apology.

Yes, the issue is not with the authors. The issue is with the the audience and their perception.

Well, maybe that’s debatable.

Winner: Missing the joke

 

Second Round, War of Words:

Kings: Alec Martinez

In regards to his game-saving shot block in overtime:

Ducks: Emerson Etem, via LA Times

This first-ever Kings vs. Ducks series is also notable for a much younger member of the Ducks, Emerson Etem of Long Beach.

He grew up watching both teams and was just short of his 15th birthday when the Ducks defeated Ottawa in a five-game Stanley Cup final.

“I still see Corey Perry in that Stanley Cup game-clinching win there. Him scoring that goal, I remember like it was yesterday,” Etem said of Perry’s unassisted goal with three minutes left in the third period of a 6-2 victory.

Emerson Etem is from Long Beach? I wonder if the Kings have ever faced any other players from Long Beach.

Winner: The most useful twitter account of all time

 

Third Round, Video Highlight of the Week:

Kings: 

Great plays made by Mike Richards and Bryan Allen to set up that goal.

gabbo

Ducks: 

How many of the writers in the Honda Center press box had already written their “Teemu Selanne, Game One Hero” story,  before Marian Gaborik ruined their deadline.

Winner: Cinco de Mayo

 

WINNER OF THE WEEK: Emotions

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.
  • Kevin D’agrella

    You think Brian Hayward is a tool you should hear Glen Healy.

  • Westgarth

    Wait, what’s this article about? I couldn’t stop watching that Emma Stone gif.