TRH RECAP 51: COLUMBUS BOO JACKETS
KINGS 3, BLUE JACKETS 5
In a game that started while many Angelenos were still finishing up their workday, this match had all the charm of spending your afternoon commute slowly slicing your toe off with a skate blade.
Doughty said he got two or three stitches in his foot after getting cut while lacing up his skates. Was late on the ice for warmups.
— Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) January 20, 2014
Despite jumping out to an early lead thanks to King and Lewis’ unstoppable offensive virility, the LA Kings fell to the Columbus Blue Jackets, 5-3. Martin Jones looked like he was considering claiming a timely mid-game bout of Jimmy Howard Assquake, while Richards and Doughty looked downright narcoleptic, and only Jeff Carter was a consistently dangerous offensive option.
Yes, this was an Ohio-flavored game, but our embarrassment is mitigated somewhat by the fact that only 300 or so people cared enough to go watch the Jackets establish a franchise-record 7th straight victory.
Also, THE BLUE JACKETS GAVE UP A GOAL TO ROBYN REGEHR. Seriously though, which one of you is making sacrifices to the Game of Thrones fire priestess lady to make this kind of sorcery happen in real life?
The Kings ran around often, visibly giving up a step or two to the hungrier and speedily creative Columbus attack. Jeff Carter was booed lustfully (and I do mean lustfully… eh? Eh?) by Jackets fans every time he touched the puck, which only inspired the soon-to-be Olympian to pot a goal in his 4th straight game.
With all that said, of course, it just wouldn’t be a frustrating loss to an inferior opponent without a rousing round of…
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?
CONTESTANT #1 – ANZE KOPITAR
@OrangePuck i mean bonino is putting up similar point totals to kopitar playing 4th line minutes
— Jared (@socalhockeykid) January 22, 2014
What exactly was Kopitar hanging around the goal for? Hoping Bob would drop the puck? #CheckTheKings
— Erin Jones (@SoundnFury81) January 22, 2014
When Regehr is scoring for the #LAKings and players like Brown Richards and Kopitar are not, you're gunna have a bad time
— Eric Roberts (@EricRinkRoyalty) January 22, 2014
— Victoria McGinnis (@victoriamcgi) January 22, 2014
This really says “My father is from Jesenice.”
Which is actually worse.
Tufficult’s Rebuttal: Okay, okay, there’s no question we need the big guy to get on the scoresheet some more. However, is anyone truly surprised at this point by Anze’s annual Winter disappearing act? At least he’s boasting a respectable plus/minus and is playing some inspired defensive hockey. Kopitar has shown up in the clutch for us in the past, so let’s not count him out quite yet. It’s a long season, and as Darryl Sutter might say – “you go ahead and criticize him, but I won’t.”
CONTESTANT #2 – DARRYL SUTTER
— The Mayor John Hoven (@mayorNHL) January 22, 2014
why didn't sutter put in quick after the 3rd goal?
— Alexis Roman (@Aromanowskii) January 22, 2014
@LADarrylSutter Coach Darryl Sutter i Am Dissapointed For Your Boys Didn't score A Goal in The 1st Period to Have The Lead Please Try Harder
— Mark Fitzpatrick (@markymarkfitz) January 22, 2014
@JDStylz_ YEAH SUTTER GOTTA FUCKIN FIRE EM UP BRO! MAKE SOME MOVES SOMETHIN!! WELP IM OUT NAP TIME.
— K_DUBB_80 (@K_DUBB_80) January 22, 2014
— Dennis Bernstein (@DennisTFP) January 22, 2014
Tufficult’s Rebuttal: Mmm, I’m not buying it. This team has been notorious for its inability to consistently score “enough” goals for at least 4 years, and Darryl Sutter coached largely this same roster to a Stanley Cup. However, I do believe his incessant line juggling is having an overall negative effect on the team. Let’s stick with what we know works:
Brown/Kopitar/Williams – Richards/Carter/Pylon – KING/Stoll/Lewis – Eenie/Meenie/Miney(Moe)
This new pairing of Kopitar and Carter; or as I call it – Karpitar (despite sounding like a rejected Pokemon species) just isn’t working for me. Let’s get back to basics, Darryl.
The LA Kings finally score three goals in a game and fans are STILL complaining. There's no winning with you guys!
— PumperNicholl (@PumperNicholl) January 22, 2014
great kings lose to the jackets..and I have it takes two in my head #fuckyoujackets and your creepy fucking mascot
— Jerrica Lee (@JerricaLee73) January 22, 2014
I’m not sure the LA Kings can play indoors right now, let alone outside.
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) January 22, 2014
Jack Johnson is such a shitty hockey player. Is he still riding his draft position this far into his career?
— Andrew Burner (@AndrewBurner) January 22, 2014
More like a crowd with a 6 game losing streak than winning one. Why pass on chance to boo 77. pic.twitter.com/NItuoLb5LN
— Patrick O'Neal (@Patrick_ONeal) January 22, 2014
Blue jackets beat the kings 5-3 !! #NewHockeyFan
— Blue Devil (@JohnUszak) January 22, 2014
Rusty Marty Jones & bad Kings defense. And a hot Jackets' club.
— Paul Greer (@LASportsWeekly) January 22, 2014
I don’t know what this tweet means, but it sounds vaguely pornographic.
#CBJ video idea: umberger stumbling around a grocery store tripping over everything on scoring a goal on every fall.
— Brett (@RockmanHalo) January 22, 2014
RJ just gave you a nice fresh UMBERGER!! Eat it! #CBJ
— Boones_Goons (@Boones_Goons) January 22, 2014
Hmm, tastes bland, could use a little more meaningful career accomplishments.
— Alex Kinkopf (@AEKinkopf) January 22, 2014
Roses are…Violets are blue… This game sucks!!!!! Hey Columbus, screw you!!!! #LAKINGS
— Heavy Metal Girly (@HeavyMetalGirly) January 22, 2014
We’ll get ‘em next time,
-King Tufficult (@KingTufficult)